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Jonas - Original Composition

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elpantalla
(@elpantalla)
Posts: 271
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

http://www.box.net/shared/rbohul6fmm

I have only written 3 or 4 songs since I started playing guitar a couple years ago.

My main strategy is to reject the main rock topics : Love and sadness.

This song is called Jonas, and it's got kind of a spanish feel to it. It's about half completed at this point. I am having a friend add electric guitar and drums soon.

Tell me what you think.

Lyrics:

I knew this kid in high school
he introduced himself

He said my name is Jonas
are you takin ap calc

He was funny lookin'
but he just seemed so relaxed

I said I will if they let me
I'm not too good with my facts

He laughed at me
at me
at me
at me

I really hated Jonas
didn't want him to know

If I have math with him
then it's really gonna blow

So I just agreed
with everything he said

I smiled and I told him
I might just take calc instead

He laughed at me
at me
at me
at me

His crooked smile made me want to punch him in the face
My only goal at the present time was to get out of that place

So I ran
I ran
I ran
I ran

One chord is fine.
Two you're pushing it.
Three and you're into jazz.

 
Posted : 27/08/2007 2:21 am
smokindog
(@smokindog)
Posts: 5345
Illustrious Member
 

Nicely crafted tune IMHO. Could be fleshed out a bit. It sounds like high school is about the same as it was in the 1970's :D

My Youtube Page
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Posted : 27/08/2007 11:03 pm
elpantalla
(@elpantalla)
Posts: 271
Honorable Member
Topic starter
 

Yeah I'm gonna work on it. Soon it will have some nice electric guitar and drums to fill it a bit.

One chord is fine.
Two you're pushing it.
Three and you're into jazz.

 
Posted : 27/08/2007 11:04 pm
TwistedLefty
(@twistedlefty)
Posts: 4113
Famed Member
 

Paints a good pic, sounds balanced and has a good hook. good job!

#4491....

 
Posted : 28/08/2007 12:19 am
Dneck
(@dneck)
Posts: 630
Prominent Member
 

Hey nice song, I like the music, it fits the words nicely. Are you going to add a instrumental section when the guitar is added or just leave it to do fills?

Its true that there are a lot of unoriginal songs about love and sadness, but that doesn't necessarily mean its impossible to write an original song about love and sadness. I wrote one song where it was about a little girl growing up and getting married and eventually dieing, but the whole song writted from the point of view of a tree.

maybe you just need to fall in love and get sad first, I dont know :lol:

"And above all, respond to all questions regarding a given song's tonal orientation in the following manner: Hell, it don't matter just kick it off!"
-Chris Thile

 
Posted : 28/08/2007 3:39 pm
Rahul
(@rahul)
Posts: 2736
Famed Member
 

Nice song.

But don't count out 'love and sadness'.

Oh and how about a song based on your thoughts. Maybe you can write a song telling why you don't feel like writing such kind of songs.

Looking forward to hear much more from you.

Good Luck.

 
Posted : 29/08/2007 10:33 pm