Hi!
Recorded this yesterday on my macbook. Just used the built in mic, so the quality isn´t the best. It´s not a 100% tight, so it sounds a little too stressful and speedy. Should be a very laidback, relaxed song, but I think it´ll get there.
Any suggestions of improvement? Lyrics, arrangement, melody, anything? Of all my songs, I sort of see this one as the one with the most potential for a single, do you think it got what it takes?
(I posted an early version of this song some time ago, but I wasn´t happy with it, and changed it a lot)
"So Simple:"
http://ollebollebo.dmusic.com/
Lyrics:
Somewhere I am locked up I don´t
I don´t know, I don´t know, I don´t know
Where I am or why I´m here
But somehow I think that I like it
Can´t seem to remember my name
Don´t want to, why would you attempt to
Make me look into my brain
Why can´t you, why can´t you, why can´t you
Stop, I won´t crumble and drop
Let me stay this way
Ref:
sappadoba..... Would you know it´s so simple?
.................... It just feels so good
Lie down and smile for a while
And tell me the colors of flowers
Tell me the names of the stars
And what we should make of this hour
Somewhere I´m unlocking a door
I don´t know, I don´t know, I don´t know
If I´ll go back to before
Don´t want to, why can´t you, why can´t you
Stop, I won´t crumble and drop
Let me stay this way
Ref.
Bridge:
Why won´t you detach your head and let me erase it
What has been is just a worthless nasty memory
Ref.
Hi Ogga
First, I'm impressed at being able to record from the internal mike of your macbook - I thought it sounded pretty good so I might try that myself rather than using microphones and iCam mikes etc....
Well, I like, and I would put my name to that one quite happily, however.....
If it were my creation I would look at rearranging a couple of things. I like the general tempo and tune but feel it starts a little too weak and short - I know it's just an acoustic but needs a bit more substance - it's probably how I would start a song but I know it's not enough to make you prick your ears up and listen....
It could be a bit louder, then go soft for the vocals then up again for the chorus - bridge is ok.
The song sounds quite jolly although the lyrics don't really suggest this...I think the tune is too upbeat to use the word 'brain' - it just seems to grate a bit, also try and think of another way of rewording the lyrics in the bridge - just sounds a bit odd. I think it's because, unlike a lot of songs nowadays, you can actually hear what your singing.
I like your voice. Nice tonal range - very jealous.
Welll, there we are.... You can have your revenge sometime in the next few weeks or so....
Rock on!
D 8)
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!
Hi!
(I posted an early version of this song some time ago, but I wasn´t happy with it, and changed it a lot)
My first thought was "I've heard this before" so I went back to read your post and saw your parenthetical.
Sounds like something I would hear on the radio.
It's that good.
I believe my earlier comment was it sounds like from the group that did the theme song to the TV show, "Friends".
It still strikes me that way . . . which is a good thing.
I think you can sell it.
How many tracks in this?
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Thanks:)
9 tracks actually.
Vocals
2. vocals
Guitar
Guitar dub (But I turned down the volume on the dub to the point where it might as well not be there...)
Guitar (The little melody between the verses)
Acoustic Bass
Shaker
Perc (Just used the guitar as a "drum")
Harmonica
To DylanBarret: Thanks, great to get some different opinions! I try to write lyrics that sounds a little different than the stuff you usually hear, because its just so little personality in pop-lyrics these days. But I´m not completely done with the words, and will take your opinion into consideration while finishing them :)
