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Speak no Evil (original)

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(@surly)
Posts: 60
Trusted Member
Topic starter
 

hey everyone, Ive been working on a few songs recently. I know every few months I blow in, post some songs, expect a reply and then fly off again (who is this guy anyway?). Anyway, theres links to 3 originals below. If you get a chance have a listen. Id be stoked for any feedback. I appreciate my voice isn't that good. But im kinda looking at them more from a songwriting perspective. (If you dont like political songs, skip speak no evil)

Thanks!

Speak no Evil: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=580774&songID=6952711

Once there was a man with a smile to hide his shame
He was asking for directions before anybody came
and he seemed to be invited, but noone knew his name
he was a relic from a long forgotten war
and I thought boy Ive seen the likes of this before.

He held his hands to Jesus, and spoke of shock and awe
he spoke of mass destruction and of judgement and of law
he said 'c'mon boys now follow me to war'
just like he father had said just 10 years before.
and I thought, I just cant take anymore
the names are changing but Ive heard it before

chorus:
game on, lets go hunting,
I know im sure to find something
you play the ace and smile
dont you know the jokers wild?
game on, crack the napalm,
find something to keep us safe from
invade and improvise
speak no evil, tell no lies

Verse2:
From across the land and water brought 2 men upon the tide
one had swagger in his footsteps but nobody by his side
the second had a smile a mile wide
and they say that boys plays games of men for pride
and I thought, I just cant take any more
the names are changing but ive heard it before

chorus

bridge:
So our three heros still a-roaming out beneath the desert sun
under the very flags that braver men have fought for peace and won
and they thought that they were fighting to put an end to all this war
just like a thousand men and armies done a thousand times before

chorus

Cant trust a boy who writes love songs: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=580774&songID=7052888

She still remembers first impressions
music store, the guitar section
singing something 'bout his past
he was supernatural

found out the name the band he made
took some friends and danced on stage
the girl who dreamed of better things
and the boy who played the strings

after the show he kissed her breathless
took her home and bought her breakfast
called her on the telephone
everyday from that night on

he had dreams to make it big,
she was there at every gig
staying late and sleeping all day
with the boy who played the strings

pre-chorus:
but mum is mad
and her dad dont understand
there saying please dont risk it all
on a boy who plays in a band

you'll wake beside an envelope
inside will be a song he wrote
that tries the only way he knows
to say goodbye

chorus:
(they're saying)
cant trust a boy who writes you love songs
takes your world and makes it his own
writes you life to tear apart
bleeds a tune and leaves the heart

need someone you can depend on
if hes a hero, your a theme song
all that sparkles aint a star
hes just a boy with a guitar

verse 2:
now shes working shifts to get the bills paid
hes still sleeping until midday
spending weeks out on the road
she listens on the radio

he tells her one say that he'll wed her
buy a house and live together
ceremony in the sand
'just your family and the band'

and he dreams so honestly
and she lets herself believe
the boy who plays the strings and
the girl with his heart upon her sleeve.

pre-chorus
chorus

bridge:
and you'll wonder how that he could do it
all that time you thought you knew him
we're all those lines he wrote you into
all just lies he put to music?

You'll think to that song he played
back in the music store that day
and wonder who was on display.

chorus

New years resolutions: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=580774&songID=7052876

I met a young boy on a sweet summers evening
he played in the dust and the dirt on the streets of a dream

he showed me a place that his friends and he'd found
he said c'mon mister ill show you around
but I couldnt walk and I spoke but my words made no sound

chorus:
Ive picked up the pieces of every solution
I hold all the keys but don't know how to use them
i don't want to lie but don't know what the truth is,
they say we're the children who have no excuses
but I still believe in new years resolutions.

verse 2:
I met a young mother, was young but looked older
she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders

her clothes hung like strangers had thrown her through chaos
her hair hid her eyes like a caged lioness
she told me that one day we'd both be together again

chorus 2:
Ive seen my reflection in every illusion
Ive reached out and taken from eves absolution
i walk all the paths but I dont get to choose them
Ive had enough lovers to know how to lose them
but I still believe in new years resolutions.

verse 3:
I met an old man he was friendly and weary,
his skin like a rope when he smiled, it pulled you in.

he spoke in a moment but looked across time
his past was a ghost and his future sublime
he said only the lost will follow the blind.

chorus 3:
Ive been burned from redemption and bled retribution
seen soldiers and killers but I still confuse them
ive raised enough flags to know when to salute them
and though we pretend there will be no conclusions
as long as theres ends there will be means to suit them
(we'll) put more men in this earth trying to improve it
but I still believe in new years resolutions....

All songs copyright Scott Abbot 2008. peace! cheers for getting this far....

 
Posted : 11/11/2008 11:42 pm
(@jwmartin)
Posts: 1435
Noble Member
 

Great songs. I can't decide if I like Speak No Evil or New Year's Resolutions better. My only critique is the bridge on Speak seems crowded, maybe if you paused differently or rephrased things.

You've got some really good songs.

Bass player for Undercover

 
Posted : 12/11/2008 1:52 am
(@guitar_guy)
Posts: 32
Eminent Member
 

They are both good tunes, though I'm leaning towards Speak No Evil as my favorite between the two. It has a great rhythm! 8)

http://www.jammingbudz.com/jamming-space/GuitarGuy

 
Posted : 12/11/2008 4:30 pm
(@surly)
Posts: 60
Trusted Member
Topic starter
 

thanks guys,
thats the second time ive heard the bridge on speak no evil was crowded. Ill have to do something about it. Im glad you both liked Speak no Evil, its kinda the flagship of my songwriting at the moment. Ill need to find someone else to sing it though.

cheers for listening to them all...

 
Posted : 14/11/2008 12:43 am
 KR2
(@kr2)
Posts: 2717
Famed Member
 

One sure fire way of instantly losing half your audience is
to write a song where you voice your political views.
Now if Hollywood would just learn that.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.

 
Posted : 14/11/2008 12:55 am
(@jwmartin)
Posts: 1435
Noble Member
 

One sure fire way of instantly losing half your audience is
to write a song where you voice your political views.
Now if Hollywood would just learn that.

I listen to a lot of artists who have done political/religious/etc. stuff that I don't agree with. If that was all they did, I would probably be turned off, but if it's a song or two I can skip them or listen and see what they have to say. It would be boring to only listen to things I agreed with.

Bass player for Undercover

 
Posted : 14/11/2008 11:58 am
(@surly)
Posts: 60
Trusted Member
Topic starter
 

I completely agree kenrogers. But I dont think good songwriters should be concerned with appealing to as wide as possible an audience. (Financially minded songwriters maybe....)
The attempt to appeal to everyone (or not to offend anyone) is the reason the popular charts are filled with so many vacuous love songs.

 
Posted : 14/11/2008 12:32 pm
 KR2
(@kr2)
Posts: 2717
Famed Member
 

the popular charts are filled with so many vacuous love songs.
Then you'll love this: It's Not a Love Song

Excellent points you make . . . and politically correct too. :? . . . and I agree . . . with both of you.

It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.

 
Posted : 14/11/2008 2:46 pm
 Nuno
(@nuno)
Posts: 3995
Famed Member
 

I like Speak no Evil. Nice rhythm. I like the song's dynamics.

Thanks for sharing.

 
Posted : 15/11/2008 12:03 pm