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Gorilla!

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(@wes-inman)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5582
Topic starter  

I am always reading reviews, I found this one several years ago, but could never seem to find it again. Today I found it, I think it is my most favorite gear review ever.

Warning- there is some mild profanity in this review, so if you don't like profanity, don't read it.

I'm sure that'll stop people from reading it. :roll:

Anyway, here it is, the review of the famous Gorilla Amp.


Product: Gorilla TC-35 Tube Cruncher
Price Paid: US $100! used
Submitted 02/01/2002 at 03:49am by Justin Bogey

Features : 10
Lets see, I got this thing in 93, I think it was from 90 or something. Um, it's good for one style, garage-spit shit noise. It has one channel-you know, the one on the TV when you disconnect the antenna and turn the volume up all the way. I wish it had a shitty sound, I mean, that would be a step up! The features of this amp I never use anymore are the power switch and cord. I mean, it does better off. Like some other guy said. I use this amp when the house is empty, and all the blinds are pulled and there is no one to see me playing this thing. Enough power? I don't know, I can't remember coz I never turn it on.

Sound Quality : 10
I used a Mexican Strat, a 50th Anniversary Tele, a DeArmond S-73-12, and a Tokai TST-62. They all sound like a Cruise Strat copy that I offered a guy in the store 10 bucks for, and he said, take the damn thing. Crap. My style? I like Rush and Pink Floyd, but my Prosonic is SOOOOOOO much better for that. This thing is good for making the "infinite sustain" that tube amps are known for, but for some odd reason the only note it'll do that with is Eb. I mean, if I play a G, it feeds back at Eb. A? Same thing, no matter what string or fret. Wow. I guess I shoulda wrote about that in features. It makes a very narrow variety of noise-noise, White noise, and wet-dog-who-ate-beans-fer-breakfast. I mean, this thing should have been called "Bean-O By Gorilla with the Gas-X Cruncher!" Maybe they could make more than the 100 bucks I paid for mine. The clean channel is distorted at ANY volume, at ALL settings unless you have the Bass, Mid, and Treble knobs at like 1. Brutal distortion? Well, there was this bear that was REAL pissed off and real hungry and it was rooting through my garbage. So I pulled out my little Bean-O amp and a long extension cord and my Tele, turned everything on ten, even the Gas-X Cruncher, and let rip with a bif fat A, and I'll be damned the bastard keeled over dead. I've now got a beautiful bear rug on the living room floor, that my girlfriend and I like to get nekid on. How's that for brutal?

Reliability : 10
Dependable? Hell yeah! I once kicked it across the room, cos I was trying to play Comfortably Numb, and it just kept feeding back that Eb, and then I threw it out the second story window to the gravel driveway. I was so pissed I left it out, speaker up, for about a week, and this was in summer, so there was a few rainstorms. Dad finally came up to me and threatened to kick my ass if I didn't get it out of his parking space, and also coz he had hit it with his tire, and it bent the axle on his truck, so that set him back a few hundred. And that was a bucket truck! Oh, the house still had a dent in the wall, I mean, this was a brick wall! Broken down, never, I mean, I neglect this thing like crackheads neglect their kids, and it keeps going.

Customer Support : 10
One time I did have to call Gorilla up and ask about some repair work, the knob had fell off the Treble pot and I wasn't sure how to get it back on. They sounded really nice, but it was like, "ching chow honda suzuki Hoy?" And I was like, Yeah creamofsomeyoungguy. So I just picked a booger and stuck it in the hole, and you know, the knob never came off again, I had to repair the other knobs too, guess how I did it?

Overall Rating : 10
I guess I've been playing since about 93, and this was my first amp. I own currently an Arion Chorus pedal, sounds great, the aforementioned guitars, and a Fender Prosonic combo. I'm not too worried about someone stealing my Gorilla, I mean, I rigged up this system where if anyone tries to steal it, I keep it in a glass case. If the case is tampered with, it cuts on with all the knobs on full, and I can only assume the criminal scumbag will only meet the same fate as that bear! I love this little Bean-O amp and the Gas-X Cruncher! I guess it's the best deal ever. I mean, I've had my Prosonic for three years, and I've had to spend 80 bucks on tubes already! What a jip! Tube amps suck, Gorilla kicks ASS! Get one of these before they're "vintage" and the price goes through the roof. I know I'm keeping mine!

If you know something better than Rock and Roll, I'd like to hear it - Jerry Lee Lewis


   
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(@blueline)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1704
 

Never heard of em. I guess I can see why!!

Teamwork- A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.


   
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(@ricochet)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 7833
 

I have a little Gorilla amp around here somewhere. I didn't buy it, it was abandoned.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine."


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

I have a little Gorilla amp around here somewhere. I didn't buy it, it was abandoned.

Seems as though the kindest thing to do would be to release it back into the wild!

Wes, that review is hilarious. Where DO you dig them up from!?!?

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@citizennoir)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1247
 

HAW HAW HAW!!!! :lol:

THAT is the amp that I have!!!!

You know; the one in my recordings that have that ghastly hiss that records better than my Strat!

I've got the high and mid turned down to one and the low up to 10 and I'd STILL prefer an ICEPICK taken to my good ear!
Not even kidding :evil:
It is shrill!

A grim fate for a tone freak to suffer, aye?

Ken

"The man who has begun to live more seriously within
begins to live more simply without"
-Ernest Hemingway

"A genuine individual is an outright nuisance in a factory"
-Orson Welles


   
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(@jwmartin)
Noble Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 1435
 

I accidentally bought a Gorilla amp off e-bay a couple of years ago. It is the worst sounding amp ever. Instead of an overdrive button, it has a "chorus" button. It makes it sound like the worst sounding amp ever under water.

Bass player for Undercover


   
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(@dan-t)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5044
 

Great review Wes! :lol:

I've played one of those amps before, and can relate! :wink:

Dan

"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge


   
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(@mrjonesey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 470
 

lol, I actually got one in one of those things where people wrap up crap from around their house and then bring them in as gifts... then everyone takes turns picking a package not knowing what it is... pig auction or something like that?????

I use mine to set stuff on....

"There won't be any money. But when you die, on your death bed, you will receive total conciousness. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice." - Bill Murray, Caddyshack ~~ Michigan Music Dojo - http://michiganmusicdojo.com ~~


   
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(@wes-inman)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5582
Topic starter  

If possible, maybe some of you Gorilla amp owners could post a few clips. I would really like to hear how terrible these amps sound.

I got that review from Harmony Central. And that is not the only bad review, there are many. Gotta give Gorilla credit they are the #1 worst amp. Hey, #1 is #1! :D

Edit- I found a clip at YouTube. Actually, I think this amp sounds pretty good!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL8bOHwiqKw

If you know something better than Rock and Roll, I'd like to hear it - Jerry Lee Lewis


   
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(@rahul)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2736
 

LOL.

Initially, looking at the topic, I thought it was about some wild animal... :lol:


   
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