Close
Skip to content

Forum

A little guitar hum...
 
Notifications
Clear all

A little guitar humour...

Page 1 / 2

(@lue42)
Reputable Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 356
Topic starter  

This is from an amp manual that I am thinking about buying... thought it was funny

(FYI: from the Peavey Vypyr series of amps)

My Fingerstyle Guitar Blog:
http://fsguitar.wordpress.com

My Guitars
Ibanez Artwood AWS1000ECE-NT
Schecter S-1 30th Anniversary Edition
Ovation CS257
LaPatrie Etude
Washburn Rover RO10


Quote
(@trguitar)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 3711
 

I have 2 amps in this series. I was amused with this as well. Don't know if Bish will be overly impressed though. :?

"Work hard, rock hard, eat hard, sleep hard,
grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em."
-- The Webb Wilder Credo --


ReplyQuote
(@alangreen)
Member Moderator
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 5367
 

That's so funny

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


ReplyQuote
 Bish
(@bish)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 3765
 

I have 2 amps in this series. I was amused with this as well. Don't know if Bish will be overly impressed though. :?

That diagram is over-rated.

Drum sticks don't fit in the input slot and the box does NOT sound like any kind of drum I'd be interested in playing. Lastly, I'm not too impressed with the finish.

Bish

"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"


ReplyQuote
 cnev
(@cnev)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 4478
 

Finally a company that understands drummers.

"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!


ReplyQuote
(@apache)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 301
 

Brilliant!


ReplyQuote
 Ande
(@ande)
Honorable Member
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 659
 

Our drummer likes to tell guitarist jokes.

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?

His amplifier.

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?

A guitarist.

And so on.

I retaliate:

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?

Gifted.

What did the drummer get on an IQ test?

Drool.

What does it mean when drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth?

The stage is level.

You can tell- chat between songs is awfully lame at our sets...if there's a moral to this story, it's never give a microphone to a drummer. Or to me. ;-)

Best,
Ande


ReplyQuote
(@lue42)
Reputable Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 356
Topic starter  

Oh... drummer jokes... sometimes they are too easy...

A young boy and his mother are walking down the street and the boy turns to his mother and says "when I grow up I want to be a drummer!"... his mother replies "Now now son, you cant do both"!

How do you get a drummer off your front step?
Pay for the pizza

What does a drummer use for birth control?
His personality

What did the drummer say to the rest of his band?
Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?

(of course - the work "drummer" can be replaced with anything else...)

My Fingerstyle Guitar Blog:
http://fsguitar.wordpress.com

My Guitars
Ibanez Artwood AWS1000ECE-NT
Schecter S-1 30th Anniversary Edition
Ovation CS257
LaPatrie Etude
Washburn Rover RO10


ReplyQuote
(@jwmartin)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 1437
 

A few bass jokes to round things out.

How are a fretless bass player and lightning the same?
They never hit the same spot twice.

Guitarist to girlfirend: Man, the bass player was so bad last night, even the singer noticed!

How many Country bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Five. One. Five

Why are there four strings on a bass?
Three are spares.

My favorite...
A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"

"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string."

Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "this time I learned the first five notes on the A string."

One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, "hey, what happened in today's lesson?"

"Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!"

Thoughts from the mind of the lead guitarist:
"Wow, look at all the cute chicks who showed up tonight! I bet they're all here to see me. Good crowd!"
Thoughts from the drummer:
"Look at that crowd! With this many people in the house, we're going to make good money tonight!"
Keyboard player:
"Yeesh, look at that crowd. None of them will ever truly appreciate all of my talent. What a bunch of losers."
Finally, the Bass player:
"E E E E E E E E A A A A A A A A E E E E E E E E..."

Bass player for Undercover


ReplyQuote
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10340
 

And one stolen from Rick Wakeman......

How do you get a guitarist to stop showing off? Give him some sheet music......

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


ReplyQuote
(@noteboat)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 4933
 

I met a bass player once who could count 7/4 time: One-two-three-four-five-six-sev-en

Q: How long does it take to tune a 12-string? A: Nobody knows yet.

Q: How do you introduce a musician in a three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise...

Q: What's the range of a tuba? A: About 40 feet if you've got a decent arm.

Q: Why are violas bigger than violins? A: They aren't - it's an optical illusion caused by the violinists having bigger heads

Q: How do you define an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager

Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and an oboe? A: A bassoon burns longer

Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A: Counterpoint

Q: If you throw an accordion, a banjo, and a set of bagpipes off the Empire State Building, which one lands first? A: Who cares?

Q: What's the ideal weight for a conductor? A: 2-1/2 pounds if you count the urn

Q: Why don't bass players play hide and seek? A: No one ever looks for them

Q: What's the difference between a conductor and the french horn section? A: About two measures, give or take

The Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, a drummer who keeps perfect time and an old drunk all spot a ten dollar bill on the sidewalk at the same time. Who gets to it first? A: The old drunk - the others are all mythical creatures.

And some definitions....

String quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists all getting together to complain about a composer

Relative minor: the country singer's girlfriend

And finally:

Q: Why are all musician jokes one liners? A: So the band can understand them

Guitar teacher offering lessons in Plainfield IL


ReplyQuote
(@chalkoutline)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 157
 

...and from the jazz world.

John Coltrane: I can't seem to stop soloing.

Miles Davis: Take the %#*$(@^ horn out of your mouth.

Interview guy: What is the source of your feedback?
Neil Young: Volume.


ReplyQuote
(@greybeard)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 5899
 

Tha bass player is sitting, sulking, in a corner of the room. The guitarist asks him what's wrong. "The drummer detuned one of my strings".

"Well, why don't you re-tune it"

"He won't tell me which one it was"

I started with nothing - and I've still got most of it left.
Did you know that the word "gullible" is not in any dictionary?
Greybeard's Pages
My Articles & Reviews on GN


ReplyQuote
 Bish
(@bish)
Famed Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 3765
 

Tha bass player is sitting, sulking, in a corner of the room. The guitarist asks him what's wrong. "The drummer detuned one of my strings".

"Well, why don't you re-tune it"

"He won't tell me which one it was"

Greybeard, I'm stealing this one for use elsewhere.

Thanks!!! I'm still LOLing.

Bish

"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"


ReplyQuote
(@trguitar)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 3711
 

Tha bass player is sitting, sulking, in a corner of the room. The guitarist asks him what's wrong. "The drummer detuned one of my strings".

"Well, why don't you re-tune it"

"He won't tell me which one it was"

Greybeard, I'm stealing this one for use elsewhere.

Thanks!!! I'm still LOLing.
Ummmm ... Thunder Fingers is not impressed ........ ummmmmmm you are safe cause he doesn't know where ou are right? If a kid with long hair .... bout 6'2" 265 lb knocks on your door ..... don't answer! OK? JK .. he laughed ...... besides he has lost weight. He onlyt weights 230 now. Looks good too! :D Real skinny!

"Work hard, rock hard, eat hard, sleep hard,
grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em."
-- The Webb Wilder Credo --


ReplyQuote
Page 1 / 2