Baby boomers getting back to the 'scene'

Live life like you're writing your eulogy and you win.

Amen to that, Roy. The purpose of life is to LIVE! And it doesn't matter whether you're 16 or 66, music's there to be listened to, played and enjoyed, whether it's today's music or that of yesteryear. It's all music.

:D :D :D

Vic

Live life like you're writing your eulogy and you win.

That is going on a plaque in my house somewhere. :D
Wise words for people of any age.

Excellent advice, Roy.
Life 101.
A course not offered at the University. (because you're already enrolled)
Some of it sounded like it was from a graduate level course (501).
(You know, where the instructor's credentials includes being a Shaolin monk.)

And Sunshine, I wouldn't even try to pigeonhole you with being X, Y, or even Z. (Are you?)
Most of us here can tell that you are in a class by yourself. It's a no-brainer (which qualifies me).

KR2

Various forms of anarchy sounds great when you're viewing it from the point of view of throwing off a bunch of rules that you see as restricting you - being able to do what you want. But it's not so great when you get there and find that it means that other people can also do as they please too, and that some of them are a lot meaner, stronger and nastier than you are and don't happen to share your particular viewpoints....

There is an easy way to set your own rules without having anarchy. Become the person in charge. You get rid of the rules that restrict you and you maintain order. Assuming you take care in what rules you make. This may seem like a bad way to make a lot of enemies but there is a fix for that too. You have your underlings vote for what they want but in the end you do whatever you want. People tend to go along with your decision more if they think they voted for it. Believe me, I've done this and it works.

I would never live my life how I want my eulogy to sound. Nobody is honest with those things anyway. Plus, if they were honest about it, I won't be around to hear it anyway.

This thread took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up way in the left field...........

There is an easy way to set your own rules without having anarchy. Become the person in charge. You get rid of the rules that restrict you and you maintain order. Assuming you take care in what rules you make.

OK, but "the person in charge" of what, though? Are we talking your family? Job? City? Nation? World Dictatorship? ...or... you're not shooting for Supreme Deity are you?? :shock:

I've never met anybody who was in charge of every single aspect of their life - or actually thought that was possible or even desirable, unless they were completely delusional. I've certainly made an effort to maintain control of the more important parts of my own life - partly, as you suggest, by running my own businesses and being the person in charge of at least some aspects. But even a despicable despot like me is comfortable about sharing the power and decision making around a bit around too. And I'm also perfectly happy to accept certain restrictions that are for the good of the community as whole.
This may seem like a bad way to make a lot of enemies but there is a fix for that too. You have your underlings vote for what they want but in the end you do whatever you want. People tend to go along with your decision more if they think they voted for it. Believe me, I've done this and it works.

:D

That can indeed succeed, but unfortunately it only works on people who are either somewhat stupid, unobservant, or generally easy to fool. If you can manage to surround yourself with people from the dumber end of the scale you can definitely get away with it for a while. But the smarter people will be onto you immediately and, sadly, even the dunces tend to catch on eventually. :(

My wife is currently the Head of Strategic Planning and Evaluation for one of our State government departments (she has 2 psychology degrees and several decades experience in such things). She has worked directly with politicians of all stripes, and would have no problem recognising the strategy that you suggest. It's as old as dodgy politicians. I'm sure that she could tell you, much more accurately than I can, just how many weeks it takes before even the stupid voters wise up to them. Depending on the era and culture you live in, you can then be facing anything from being voted out again to being shot, beheaded, imprisoned, stoned, etc. So you may even need an army, or a Horde of some kind to back you up if you want to try that on for long. And even then, they tend to get disgruntled and impale you on a spike one day when you let your guard down and take a short nap....

At the end of the day, the test that Wes mentioned in his post is the one that really matters - can you look in the mirror and like what you see. People might be able to fool a few others for a while, but if they look at themselves and see a liar, a cheat, a bully, or just some kind of selfish creep with no ethics worth speaking of, then they'll know. Nobody fools themselves for long.

It's a jungle out there.... Be generous hearted towards others, try not to step on any mines, and enjoy the journey... :wink:

Good luck,

Chris

At the end of the day, the test that Wes mentioned in his post is the one that really matters - can you look in the mirror and like what you see. People might be able to fool a few others for a while, but if they look at themselves and see a liar, a cheat, a bully, or just some kind of selfish creep with no ethics worth speaking of, then they'll know. Nobody fools themselves for long.

Having ethics is not important. In order to have people respect you, you must make it look like you have ethics but it is best not to have them because at some point, you may have to make a choice to go against them. That test doesn't really work if the person looks in the mirror and sees they are all those things but likes what they see.

Having ethics is not important. In order to have people respect you, you must make it look like you have ethics but it is best not to have them because at some point, you may have to make a choice to go against them.

:shock: :)

Real respect has to be earned though. It can't be bought, grabbed or demanded (so don't confuse it with fear or obedience). Maybe you think that point of view makes you look street-smart or tough, but instead it really just looks kind of sad. :(

If you live by that, then you have a confused and insecure life ahead of you. Maybe it's even a reflection that your life so far has had a bit of confusion and insecurity about it too?? If so, then I'd definitely recommend developing a set of ethics, and a personal code of conduct as a very useful asset for your future.

Ethics are not just a single set of rules that you get over the counter from the government or some religious or political group or gang, although they can all be starting points for your thinking. Often they are about taking the best of what others have learned, suggested, and found to be worthwhile over the centuries, and developing your own personal code of conduct and set of beliefs too. One way or another though, it always involves considering the viewpoint of people other than you, and the impact your actions have on others. Not everybody's ethical sense is the same - they can vary greatly. But if you have no personal code, no sense of what's fundamentally right and wrong, nothing to guide you but short term self-interest, then you're in for a difficult ride. It's what and who you are that counts, not what you pretend to be. If there's no substance underneath the poses then you're zero. Respect isn't owed or grabbed, it's earned through your actions and your character - and that applies to the respect that others might give you and also to self-respect.
That test doesn't really work if the person looks in the mirror and sees they are all those things but likes what they see.

We'll if you look in the mirror and like seeing a " liar, a cheat, a bully, or just some kind of selfish creep " then not much that I can say will change your mind. But what usually happens is that the person looking in the mirror 'reframes' what they see. They see the bully but tell themselves they're just strong. They see the liar and call it cunning, an so on. And that can work for a while... But, as I said before, few people can fool themselves for long and the more they try the more it slowly but surely screws them up from inside.

Still, I expect that you'll have to work all that stuff out for yourself, eh? Good luck with the journey. :wink:

Chris

Having ethics is not important. In order to have people respect you, you must make it look like you have ethics but it is best not to have them because at some point, you may have to make a choice to go against them. That test doesn't really work if the person looks in the mirror and sees they are all those things but likes what they see.

A code of personal morality or your own set of "ethics" is not something you outgrow, or one day find you have no use for, like old clothes or a tool that does not work as well anymore.
It is your own sense of right and wrong that grows with you through your life.

People will not respect you just because you appear to have ethics, that is like expecting to be rewarded for doing the right thing. Doing the right thing is it's own reward.
Choosing to go against your ethics would mean you never had them to begin with.
The person you descibe wouldn't bother to "look into a mirror" theres nothing there to see.

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."
~Abraham Lincoln~

"Ethics is a code of values which guide our choices and actions and determine the purpose and course of our lives."
~Ayn Rand~

"Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

What does this tell us? Firstly, because our every action has a universal dimension, a potential impact on others' happiness, ethics are necessary as a means to ensure that we do not harm others. Secondly, it tells us that genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others' happiness."
~ Ethics for a New Millennium, by His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama~

A person without a moral code or ethics is commonly described as a sociopath, or more recently a person with "antisocial personality disorder"
This sums it up fairly accurately imo

http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

And as we've gotten about as far afield as possible, let's close this one up while it's all still pleasant and civil.

Back to being a guitar forum, folks. But please feel free to continue this discussion amongst yourselves via PM.

Peace