Egos. I hate mine!

"If there's anything more important than my ego around here, I want it hunt down and shot!" - to quote Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Ego's very important to a guitarist, or indeed any musician - if you didn't have an ego, you wouldn't bother picking up an instrument in the first place. But it has to be kept in check - in my case, if I ever get a little swollen-headed about how good I'm getting (well I am compared to three years or so ago, but being honest anything's better than nothing - which is what I had back then, and like Greybeard, I've still got most of it left!) a little dose of Jimmy Page or the Stones serves as a good reality check, in a "Wish I could do THAT!" kind of way.

It took me a long time to get around to recording myself....I always had a feeling that my own songs were pretty decent, but the few people who'd ever heard them weren't impressed.With one notable exception - Marilyn, my other half. She liked some of them - not all of them, we do have different tastes in music, and mine are more hard-rock orientated than hers, but it was Marilyn who actually gave me the confidence to get in front of the mic and record myself.

Since those fumbling beginnings, I've had some pretty good feedback....at least, no-one has ever come out and said they've hated something I've done. I've worked hard on my playing since then - 6-8 hours a day is the norm for me. I started going to an acoustic jam night a couple of years ago - didn't take me long to realise I was probably the least accomplished guitarist there, but again, a lot of hard work on technique got me up to scratch. And I've also developed something else (no, not a thicker skin!) in the meantime - what I think of as the FIF, or the Forget-it Factor. I make a mistake, so what? It's not the end of the world, and I'll get it right next time. Forget it. Remember the GOOD things you've done right, rather than the mistakes you've made.

Keep your ego in check - it's good to feed it now and then, but if you over-feed it it's likely to become a bloated monster that needs ever more sustenance. I feed mine a healthy dose of good music - keeps the cravings for junk down!

:D :D :D

Vic

What a great topic. :D

You know, over the years I've asked myself why I do this. I actually devote a great deal of my life to playing guitar and performing. Why?? I've wondered if it is all just to draw attention to myself. And really, sincerely, that is not my main motivation. With me it is a personal drive to be good at something. I don't believe in doing things halfway, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I have always loved music. Man, when you are up there playing a huge chord, it just feels awesome, the sound, the power. It amazes me that those sounds can come from me. I get lost in it.

But then, I cannot simply play for myself. I want to get up and perform. I don't think it is about promoting myself, it is just plain fun to play in front of people. I started singing in front of people as a young boy and I guess I got bit by the bug. It is fun looking out and seeing the crowd. I guess I am addicted to the energy of it all.

I am not really looking for attention, although I think I am very skilled at getting it. And to be good at performing music, you have to be skilled at promoting yourself. It is a necessary evil. If you don't get your name out, you do not play.

I come here all the time and talk about myself. I get sick of hearing it myself. But my real goal here is to encourage beginning players. I remember quite well the difficult struggle to learn to play guitar. I know how discouraging and frustrating it can be. So I hope to encourage players to keep pushing forward and never giving up. I post pics and stories of our gigs. I do this because I know that is going to affect players here. They know it looks fun (it is fun). I am purposely trying to create desire, because desire is what will motivate someone to practice. It will motivate someone to look for fellow musicians to play with and form a band. It will motivate them to go out there and get themselves a gig.

At least that's what I'm hoping. My Dad was a great coach and I think a lot of it rubbed off on me.

As far as making mistakes, I hate it. I hold myself to very high standards. I drive fellow musicians nuts because I will practice the same song 50 times (and that's not an exaggeration) to get it perfect. It rarely comes out perfect, but I want it to. I just don't see the sense in doing something poorly. You have one life in this world. You can be a half-a$$, or you can do things right. I love working hard and trying to get it right. But mistakes happen, we are human. I have learned to laugh them off. You can't be too serious. That just causes tension and anxiety. Playing guitar is an art, but it is supposed to be fun too. You get too serious and it will affect your bandmates and even your audience. When I go see a band, I want to see a fun bunch of musicians and have a good time. So I try to remember this when we play. But I don't forget the mistakes and will practice later to hopefully play better next time.

There is always some ego. I just hope when people see us play that they come away saying, "those guys were really great!"

I raise my hand too, about being shy.

This is a tough thread to write a response. When you think about the shyness factor, it's all about exposing yourselves. You folks don't know how bad I am at guitar, and I sing even worse. However, not until you hear me can you then lob salvos my way. Why would I expose myself to salvos? Sure, MOST of the people here at GN would say things like get singing lessons, work on your timing, etc. One of them might come in hot and loaded with a nice "nice try, but you suck" kind of thing. That's when it gets personal and I don't want to open myself up for something like that.

As for ego, you won't find a bigger ego around town then mine. It's the way I am. I *hate* playing in front of others, but I don't think it has to do with that. Many of my fellow egomaniacs are quite eager to play out live.

Arjen isn't the first, but is it just me or are we confusing "having an ego" with "being insecure" ? To me, having an ego is the guy who yes, doesn't like to be criticized, but will do anything possible to prove the critics wrong, and to prove that he is as great as he thinks he is. Whereas the guy who is just insecure again, doesn't like to be criticized, but in this case, is too insecure to go out and do anything at all to prove people wrong.

Of the latter, I think many of us are guilty, I know I feel insecure when trying any new kind of music infront of others for the first time. If its just a normal blues/blues rock jam, I'm confident, but if someone were to play heavy metal and tell me to take a solo, I'd turn the volume down on my guitar to 3. It's normal I think.

The ones with the egos, the players who don't want anyone else to solo, who want to do everything even if they aren't good at, are the ones I don't want to be playing with.

I simply do not have a choice. I have to put myself out there all the time.
I have a very public job. as lighting designer and the guy who puts up the lights at a modern art museum my work is critical to the art on the wall and the user experience.
as a visual artist, I simply cannot stop making things and selling them. I put myself in the work and hang it for approval all the time. it actually is who I am. sure, some may not like my artwork. I dont care and I do care at the same time. my work has been raved and slammed. I still have to make things regardless. of course it is great to be liked. my ego loves that. but it is strong enough to be disliked too.
as a musician I have an easier time. somewhat. band mates cover your bad sounds often. I sound better in a mix. and I know my limits. I play what I can and keep it simple when gigging. but let it all out alone or jamming.
with all my other endeavors I seem not to know limits. I haven't figured that one out yet.

the older I become the more comfortable I get with whom I turned out to be.
I dont like everything, but tolerate myself pretty well.

Arjen isn't the first, but is it just me or are we confusing "having an ego" with "being insecure" ?

No. I'm not. What I'm saying is that the two are unrelated.