Skip to content
Have you ever been ...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Have you ever been openly insulted about your playing?

36 Posts
26 Users
0 Likes
4,438 Views
(@minotaur)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1089
Topic starter  

So much that you've been so embarassed that you just had no response?

A while ago I was on my learning bass kick (still am), and tossing around the idea of the Ibanez acoustic electric bass just to noodle around with, and start learning with my teacher, as a change of pace. Not that there's anything wrong with our lessons now. I just want to know everything there is to know, and I want to know it yesterday. :lol:

Anyhoo... I was in the office in my cubicle, one of the tech guys working on my computer, and my boss there too. He saw the pic I had of the Ibanez tacked to my cube wall. He asked what that was. I said it was an acoustic electric bass that I'd like.

So he says (drumroll please)... "Wait a minute, you can't even play guitar and you want a bass?" in front of the other guy. :shock: I was mortified. That's his idea of humor. The other guy just turned his head, and my mouth just dropped. Someone told me If it was a lesson night and I had my ax I should have unzipped the case, handed it to him and said "here, you play something".

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.


   
Quote
 cnev
(@cnev)
Famed Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 4459
 

Frank, I think that might have been me :D. I'm not sure if anyone other than the wife or kids ever said that to my face...and I don't listen to them so it didn't really hurt much.

I did play once with a couple of the guys at an open mic and it turned into a bit of a train wreck but it wasn't really my fault and I wasn't playing alone. the bass player for some reason asked one of the other musician's there how we sounded and he just shook his head, Not good...but heck I knew that when I was up there so that was no suprise.

But we had the same musicians come by the house when we were practicing with the whole band and they have all asked why we aren't out there playing so I know we can sound good at times :)

It's just human nature not to want to hear bad things about your playing it's hard not to take it personal but you can't really let it bother you and just go with the flow.

"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!


   
ReplyQuote
(@anonymous)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 8184
 

i've been openly insulted pretty much on a daily basis since i was a child, but only once about the guitar that i can remember.


   
ReplyQuote
(@alangreen)
Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 5342
 

The first Mrs Green put a record on one night that I'd never heard before and challenged me to play along. When I told her that wasn't really likely to happen she said that I wasn't much good.

There will always be brain-dead insecure morons willing to put you down and if you listen to them they'll eventually #### with your head.

Don't listen to them, you are better than them.

A :-)

"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk


   
ReplyQuote
(@elecktrablue)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 4338
 

My insults usually came BEFORE I played. I'm a small woman (5 feet tall), and when I first started going to jams and parties after getting most of my chops back after my 20 year hiatus, I was usually met with things like "Oh! Look at the little lady, she wants to play with the big boys!", or "That things nearly as big as she is! Ha ha!". Or I'd get looks that openly said "What the H does she think she's going to do? She'll never be able to keep up." Or "Oh my god it's a woman! She's going to want to play all that flowery, girly stuff." It was at these times that I would choose my "best" material and because of the comments and looks, it kind of spurred me on to be better than I actually was. So, with adrenaline and a bit of anger, I would let loose and do my absolute best to rock their socks off. Which, I am happy to say, I did more often than not.

I no longer get those comments or looks. They all finally treat me as a musician and not as a "little lady who wants to play with the big boys". I am "one of the boys", so to speak, and am finally treated with respect when I open my guitar case. It was "trial by fire", but I made it through to the other side!

..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ .·´
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´ -:¦:- Elecktrablue -:¦:-

"Don't wanna ride no shootin' star. Just wanna play on the rhythm guitar." Emmylou Harris, "Rhythm Guitar" from "The Ballad of Sally Rose"


   
ReplyQuote
(@ph0nage)
Reputable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 199
 

The only people who've ever insulted my playing have been my friends. For about the first 6 months, they would always comment that I wasn't sounding that great.

I never took it too personally, because none of them ever excelled at any music instruments or played guitar. The only time they were rock stars was when playing guitar hero! (and not on expert mode!)

Over time, that's gone away. Now that they see my band playing live, and me playing half the solos, they respect my playing i guess.

Minotaur,
It seems to always be the people that haven't attempted to learn guitar (or any hobby/activity/sport for the matter that you're doing) that are quick to make snide comments like that. Guitar probably the most picked up - then dropped instrument within a month because of the time and commitment that's required.


   
ReplyQuote
(@minotaur)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1089
Topic starter  

Frank, I think that might have been me :D. I'm not sure if anyone other than the wife or kids ever said that to my face...and I don't listen to them so it didn't really hurt much.

Well, they're to be ignored anyway. :D
It's just human nature not to want to hear bad things about your playing it's hard not to take it personal but you can't really let it bother you and just go with the flow.

I forgot to mention that he's never even heard me play. I wouldn't mind if it was a bunch of us and we sounded really teh suck, and we said so.

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.


   
ReplyQuote
(@minotaur)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1089
Topic starter  

Minotaur,
It seems to always be the people that haven't attempted to learn guitar (or any hobby/activity/sport for the matter that you're doing) that are quick to make snide comments like that. Guitar probably the most picked up - then dropped instrument within a month because of the time and commitment that's required.

Well that's for sure!

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.


   
ReplyQuote
(@unimogbert)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 174
 

I may be generalizing but... I've been around awhile and I've observed that NY/NJ folk tend to make remarks that the rest of the country might regard as insulting as a manner of simple communications. In Georgia folks might say "Good Mawnin' ya'll!' but in NYC they would regard "watchoo lookin' at a**hole?" as equivalent.

(Your location says NJ so maybe you've just never consciously noticed this behavior??)

Could have been that this guy was expecting you to reply with "Yeah, but now I can't play TWO instruments to your ZERO."

Might have sounded a lot more personal to you than it was meant.

Unimogbert
(indeterminate, er, intermediate fingerstyle acoustic)


   
ReplyQuote
(@almann1979)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1281
 

i had a fantstic insult aimed at me once at half time in a gig, about 12 months ago.

the pub knew we were all teachers, and it was the summer holidays. At half time he said "so have your lessons stopped then" and i said, "yes, schools out for 6 weeks!"

he then said - no, i meant your guitar lessons :lol: :lol:
i had to see the funny side, no good alienating a member of the audience, but if anything it spurned me on to work that little bit harder on the songs we perform

"I like to play that guitar. I have to stare at it while I'm playing it because I'm not very good at playing it."
Noel Gallagher (who took the words right out of my mouth)


   
ReplyQuote
(@minotaur)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1089
Topic starter  

Could have been that this guy was expecting you to reply with "Yeah, but now I can't play TWO instruments to your ZERO."

I like that! :D
Might have sounded a lot more personal to you than it was meant.

He thinks he's being funny when he does that. A time before we were in a meeting with a v.p. and some IBM reps. over new hardware. I made a goofy comparison that you can't squeeze any more into the systems we had, much as you can't get into size 32 pants if you have a 36" waist. In front of all these people he blurts out "Oh, like you try to do?" :shock:

I gave a look that could turn milk sour, the others didn't know where to look from embarassment. The next day I went into his office, slammed the door and proceeded to rip him a new one. He apologized profusely and said he didn't know why he got carried away thinking that was funny.

But I think I have a new response for these things, should they occur again... "Did saying that to me make you feel like a man? Did it make you feel better than me?"

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.


   
ReplyQuote
 cnev
(@cnev)
Famed Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 4459
 

Al,

This is rock n roll you should have broke a beer bottle on his head! Nothing says rock n roll better than a bar room brawl.

Frank,

Next time tell him "Thanks and if I respected your opinion it might mean something"

"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!


   
ReplyQuote
 Bish
(@bish)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 3636
 

Go post a piece on YouTube.

You'll get your insults soon enough. :x

Works everytime for me... :oops:

Bish

"I play live as playing dead is harder than it sounds!"


   
ReplyQuote
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Happened to me a couple of times when I used to go to an acoustic jam night, and to be honest I wasn't at all confident about my own playing back then. One particular occasion, a guy was so insulting I offered my guitar to him and asked him if he could do any better. He said no, he couldn't play the guitar. I replied, "Neither can I - at least not very well. Yet. But at least I've got the guts to try. So shut the **** up until you're good enough to know what you're talking about." Then I stood up - at 6' 5", I was a fair bit taller than him. He was fairly quiet after that.

Most times I'd have just laughed it off....he just caught me on a bad night.

And - my mum used to do it all the time. She loathed the guitar - she'd always find time for a snide comment or several. I used to quote Bob Dylan at her; "Don't criticise what you can't understand."

First wife was another guitar-hater. I had the misfortune to marry someone who was into Barry Manilow....although she kept that quiet when I first met her. Got to thank her, though - she's been good for my songwriting, given me plenty of material over the years!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
ReplyQuote
(@minotaur)
Noble Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 1089
Topic starter  

Well I don't feel so bad now. I'm in good company since you've all been insulted and offended at one point or another. I feel like a member of a special club. :lol:

It is difficult to answer when one does not understand the question.


   
ReplyQuote
Page 1 / 3