well, i know there have been similar posts over the last year or two - but jeeze, i guess im just venting!!!!!
we are all very nice guys in the band and i consider myself to be very lucky to work with them - honestly i really do.
But in any group over time one person will subconciously take control and in our case it is our singer/keyboard player. he is a real nice guy, but before he met us was a solo artist and over time we have slowly become more and more like his backing group.
Lots of things have happend over time involving soundchecks which are fine at first, but when we start playing the first set the keyboard is suddenly far louder and/or we are all a lot quieter.
Song choices seem to have deviated from sex on fire, hard to handle, sweet home alabama, summer of 69 etc to lounge style ballards like "waiting for that day" by george michael (no, i never heard of it either).
we then moved onto the "i will decide what we practice at pracitce" stage from him, and also the "i cannot sing any song you choose because i will make the excuse it does not suit my voice - unless there is a big keyboard part on it or it is by george michael or elton john!!"
But he really is a nice guy and im sure he doesnt do these things on purpose - although i now REALLY REALLY understand the phrase straw that broke the camels back. we recorded our studio demo's and he oversat the mix and completley took the guitar out of the songs - and as we paid a lot of money i sort of lost the plot, and all the built up tension came out in a real strop of childish proportions.
i do think i really upset him and i did apologise. And with boxboy's help i have corrected the demo's in the best way i can and we are now much happier with them. but i am not looking forward to next weeks practice, i think things will be tense and im not doing this for tension, im doing it for fun.
so - what similar experiences have you had?
"I like to play that guitar. I have to stare at it while I'm playing it because I'm not very good at playing it."
Noel Gallagher (who took the words right out of my mouth)
Been there, done that. It's no fun. :(
I would suggest a sit down before any more music is played so that everyone can have their say. If you guys are a band, then everyone should have equal say. If your singer/keyboardist is just looking for a backing band, then the rest of you need to decide if you want to be his backing band, or if he needs to move on down the road.
Good luck.
"The only way I know that guarantees no mistakes is not to play and that's simply not an option". David Hodge
Ah Al the joys of being part of a dysfunctional rock n roll band...well join the party. I don't think it's very unusual at all to experience what you are going through, correcting it though may be difficult.
I agree everyone should have a say in the band but even in the pseudoband I'm in democracy doesn't always work that well either. I mean we try to all pick songs but it seems so difficult at times to agree on a song one person will like this song someone wants to do something else etc.
We don't have a "singer" per se but my instructor who has played in bands since he was a kid always warns me about the singer being the most difficult person to deal with. Since they are basically "fronting" the band when you play they tend to get a big head about there place in the band.
I'm not sure you are going to be able to "change" him much so it may come down to the rest of you agreeing to let him take charge with the music etc or find someone else.
That's wy it's kind of incredible to see bands that have lasted for years and years like the Stones or Aerosmith, it's hard to stay together that long without having a falling out.
If you find the secret let me know.
"It's all about stickin it to the man!"
It's a long way to the top if you want to rock n roll!
