Oh boy, this one will be sensitive.
Over the years, I have developed a system for setting up and tearing down my gear. Same for loading and unloading. I've found it's the only way to keep chaos at arm's reach.
Problem is starting a few gigs ago, my wife got it into her head to "help" with the setup, tear down, and loading. I think she feel this will move the process along faster, but in all honesty, it really slows things down. I have to answer "Where does this go?" and "What is this thing, anyway?". I've tried to tell her nicely that we're fine, I can get it, but she insists. And when I try and very gently correct her on something, I am called a "picky-butt". Plus the stage is already crowded enough.
At the last gig, I acquiesced and assigned her the task of removing the four can lights from the cross bar. They are held on with a simple nut and bolt. Somehow, she managed to misuse the pliers and strip the bolt round so our host had to help her get the light off the bar. I am now going to go to the hardware store and get supplies to convert this to a wingnut system.
The drummer's wife does the same. Last gig she left behind some sticks and a set of cymbals.
These are wonderful ladies. They come to every gig and bring tons of moral support, but they are making us crazy. How can we tell them as nicely as possible to simply back off and let us get this stuff done?
My wife is my duo partner and number one roadie. We don't normally use sound reinforcement but did on three nights in a row a couple of weeks ago, because it was in a public building we had to load in and out all three nights. The first night she spent mostly carrying and watching, the second she began setting up stands and uncoiling cords, the third night she set most of it up herself and then I moved some stuff around just a bit. My wife is mechanically inclined and owns her own chain saw so she is not uncomfortable around equipment. Without her help setting the speakers and stands would be do-able but certainly more work for me.
That's no answer to your problem but maybe there is hope that they can be trained to be good help. Remember that firing them can be a really expensive option :shock: .
Hope you can get this resolved so that everyone is happy. I am sure that they just want to be part of "the group".
Jack
well... A) your REALY lucky that shes supportive, and willing to help. I say run with it, and try to refocis her tasks. B) give her a set task, that she can do. agean... she just wants to be helpfull and supportive. C).. well there isnt realy a C other then, just work with it, and know that shes just trying to help, and eaven if it might take a few more min, and you might have to redo some stuff, in the long run you are ahead.
Paul B
Thanks for the replies.
I think what I am going to try and do, since all the wives are involved, is that we band members put our heads together and brainstorm about the areas we need help with and try to focus our wives' attentions on those places. They want to be involved, and we should encourage that.
I have seen a lot of threads lamenting the fact that someones spouse was not supportive of their music either playing at home or performing. I consider it a really good thing that my wife has always been supportive and now is being helpful. Besides the more involved they are the more they see the "need" for that new gear that you are begging for. :D
Jack
