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Need advice!

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Active Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10
Topic starter  

Ok, sometimes I can really sound good (singing in the car with the radio!)- I seem to have decent range and my voice feels strong and the sound is forward, and other times I don't- My throat feels all tight and my voice sounds strained and weak, and the sound is in the back of my throat. God forbid if I were to sing in front of someone when this is one of the times my voice sucks! It seems just hit or miss, thus the reason I have rarely sang in front of people. How can I control this and relax my throat or whatever my problem is? Does anyone have any advice. And also, give me some words of encouragement to "just do it!" I'd love to hear about your first times singing. Thanks

Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2801

Hello Shygirl

Well, there could be many reasons probably but judging by your nick could it possibly be that the songs you sound good at are songs you have sang many times and feel confident with, and the ones you suck at are song you either arent sure about or worried about someone hearing you? Alot of singing really does have to do with confidence. I am 36 and have been singing a pretty long time and when I am nervous, for any reason, I really suck at whatever I am singing. But once I have it down, I am not worried about people hearing me, I have taken some deep breathes and so forth... it sounds good.

You know what? People dont care nearly as much what we look or sound like as what we think they do. We build ourselves up and then worry that someone is looking down on us but really. No one (Unless they are interested in you) is really paying attention. When you get up to sing, most people really admire the fact that you have the ability to do that. There are a few that would send discouragement but they are in the minority. People appreciate effort.

My first start in performing was a little rock band me and my friends had in school. We decided that we would perform in the talent show. Our school was about 1000 or so students. I was pretty terrified at first but one thing that i have found that helps is to just imagine yourself as your favorite star. Set yourself apart from the "common" fans. Build yourself up and then act. When I get on stage I am acting. So in my mind, people cant hold it against me because it isnt real. Its acting.

If you can, observe a few people that are really getting into what you are doing. Then sing to them. If they are already into it, then they will be more so when you start singing to them. Its not good to not interact with the crowd so by picking out a few people it gives the effect that you are working them all. And once you are confortable then you probably will be. And when people are into what you are doing they want to be a part of that party. No one wants to be the downer. They want to join in. Its a rush of a feeling.

I would say if you arent performing just yet then a couple ideas to get started. First, you could take up some vocal lessons. A good vocal coach can help you figure out why your throat feels that way much better than anyone here can. You'll be singing to your coach and that will get you used to singing in front of some one.

Second, you could find a good kareoke place. Go in and watch a few times. Make sure that the host isnt demeaning or rude in any way. Make sure the crowd is accepting. Once you feel comfortable with that then put your name on the list and when it comes time.. GO SING. Dont take your buddy with you. That is a crutch (in my opinion) for what you are trying to over come.

You can do it. In time you will build confidence and you will be fine. You can train your voice. Now go do it. LOL

Ohh and if I am totally off base then my apologies. I didnt understand the question :oops:


“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)

Active Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 10
Topic starter  

Geoo, thanks so much for all of your thoughts, and your encouragement. I'll keep all you said in mind.

Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 724

I agree with Geoo about confidence, you have to have it. The other thing is you have to be comfortable; which comes with, you guessed it confidence. Confidence derives from competence which stems from practice. Your voice is an instrument and you need to practice with it just like any instrument, if you want to be better. I sing all the time, in the car, at work, walking down the road. When I practice with my guitar I also practice with my voice. Also joining a church choir or community chorus is great for training your voice. Just like playing guitar with others helps your playing so does singing with others.

Tim Madsen
Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.

"What you keep to yourself you lose, what you give away you keep forever." -Axel Munthe