Assignment: You can either write about luck (good, bad or otherwise) or write about a specific number or numbers. But (and there's always a "but," no?) you do have to use a number as part of your song's title
I decided to skip the entire luck idea. and just go with a song title that had a number in it. It's about my favorite 10 minutes of the day. Get out your castanets and read along.
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10198926
10 More Minutes - The Snooze Alarm Song
At 6 AM I always get up
Make the coffee and drink a cup
Feed the cat and watch the news
Listen to some political views
I'm supposed to get up instead
Think I'll stay here in my nice warm bed
10 minutes on the snooze alarm
Never did a bit of harm
There should be a law it seems
That allows me to finish my dreams
To live out my fantasy
Before waking to reality
Time to hallucinate
And still not get to work late
20 more minutes of pillow time
And my day will start just fine
A little morning reverie
Before facing actuality
Complete the dreams where I'm flying high
Where they say I am a great guy
The wallets full with lots of money
And my jokes are always funny
A 30 minute power nap
Would make me a happy chap
Repeat first verse
(But end it with)
An hour on the snooze alarm
Never did an ounce of harm
Good writing. Not sure why it's called Cha Cha.
I like the way the verse ending flows:
10 minutes on the snooze alarm
Never did a bit of harm
I can relate. It seems in the winter months, I can't get up until 7. The sun has to be up or at least on it's way.
Ernie
"All battles are first won or lost in the mind." - Joan of Arc
"It took me about 20 years to figure out how to write without inspiration. Thankfully, I got there." - Leon Russell
Nice job writing from what you know and bringing a familiar experience in an interesting way.
Suggestion:
Consider some revision here as it seems the singer is already up in the morning
At 6 AM I get up
Make the coffee and drink a cup
Feed the cat and watch the news
Listen to some political views
I'm supposed to get up instead
At 6 AM I get up COMPARED TO I'm supposed to get up
.....it might need just a small change for clarification; but it wakes up on the wrong side of the bed as is (pun intended :P )
Thanks for sharing.
James
Hi MrE,
love the concept here. I agree with James on the first verse, may something like,
"At 6 AM I've got to get up".
Also the third verse with its reference to finishing dreams, for me is a little too much like the second verse. Maybe just rewording it somehow.
Good song
Paul
By popular demand I edited the first line to: At 6 AM I always get up
To avoid repetition in the third verse the line is edited to: Complete the dreams where I'm flying high
Yeah better. Another way of handling this could be to make the repetition a feature say some thing like this:
Yeah there should be a law I believe
to complete the dream before acuality
And leave me in there flying high
Where they say I am a great guy
The wallets full with lots of money
And my jokes are always funny
10 minutes on the snooze alarm
Never did a bit of harm
cheers
Paul
Or you could reword it this way . . .
But today what I'll do instead
Is stay here in this nice warm bed
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
For variety, I changed the last two lines of the second and third verse
Hi Mr. E
Didn't get to see the original but I like what's up there now. Also like Peter's statement about "usually followed by another 10" - might be fun to stretch the 10 minutes of the first verse into 20 in the second and then 30 in the last.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
Hi Mr. E
Didn't get to see the original but I like what's up there now. Also like Peter's statement about "usually followed by another 10" - might be fun to stretch the 10 minutes of the first verse into 20 in the second and then 30 in the last.
Looking forward to more.
Peace
Done. I'll try adding music and voice to it today. It's song circle night and I have two songs to work on now. Open mike is in two weeks as well. One of these may make the cut for that.
I haven't tried to figure out the chords on this yet, I think its a cha-cha but it may end up being a rhumba or even a tarantella.
I haven't tried to figure out the chords on this yet, I think its a cha-cha but it may end up being a rhumba or even a tarantella.
If you are going to do a more up beat on the rhythm, I'd suggest trying minor chords.....the senitment of the lyrics is someone not wanting to get up and would rather stay in bed, so the prosody of the music and lyrics could be slow or minor or resistant/tension.....
.....maybe along the lines of The Beatles - "I'm So Tired"
I finally put my melody, chords and rhythm down. My piano playing is primitive at best but it made it easier to get my thoughts down on paper. All major chords, I want this to be a fun song. I've got a syncopated rhythm, not sure if it is calypso, cha cha or whatever.
I added a last line. The song has always ended with a repeat of the first verse. I changed it so that last two lines of the song are:
An hour on the snooze alarm
Never did an ounce of harm
I did this song at our Wdnesday song circle and made a few lyric changes (not on the recording) that were well received. The first time I got halfway through the "dream sequence" chorus and the whole group joined in.
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10198926
This is the format I'll use for an open mike coming up in a week.
6 AM I get up
Make the coffee and drink a cup
Feed the cat and watch the news
Listen to some political views
I'm supposed to get up, instead
Think I'll stay in my nice warm bed
10 minutes on the snooze alarm
Never did a bit of harm
"La la la..." Dream Sequence
There should be a law it seems
That allows me to finish my dreams
To live out the fantasy
Before waking to reality
Time to hallucinate
I promise not to get to work late
20 minutes of pillow time
And my day will start just fine
"La la la..." Dream Sequence
A morning reverie
Before actuality
Complete the dreams where I'm flying high
Where they say I'm a helluva guy
Wallets full, lots of money
And my jokes are always funny
A 30 minute power nap
Would make me a happy chap
"La la la..." Dream Sequence
Repeat first verse
An hour on the snooze alarm
Never did an ounce of harm
I stayed in bed because I was tired
The boss just called, I've been fired
Half of the "La la la..." Dream Sequence
