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Blindman - Y5, W11....WITH MP3

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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

EDIT....OK finally managed to get an Mp3, having thrown away countless backing tracks....I'm still not satisfied, sounds like the bass is a bit out, but Audacity's been playing me up a little....well a lot!....anyway this'll give you a rough idea of what I'm aiming for - I realised I was being a bit over-ambitious, but hell, you don't try, you'll never get anywhere...and 'tis better to have tried and failed than never tried at all....I know I can do this song better, just need to play more with Audacity.....

It's took me a week to do this.....!!!!!!

Again, this week, been struggling for inspiration.....anyway, this afternoon, Marilyn and her daughter were watching something on TV, it finished strangely....or so they thought, until the announcer mentioned part II would be tomorrow....

When they'd finished, I mentioned "They used to do that a lot in the 70's....pick a best-selling novel and turn it into a mini-series..."

Marilyn mentioned "Rich Man Poor Man" as an example.....AHA.....got my cliche.....trouble is "If I was a rich man" has been done already. So I thought of the next line, "Beggar man, thief....".....couple of minutes messing about on piano, I'd got a verse and a melody.....

And carried on in the same vein.....

Blindman.

If I was a blindman, and I couldn't see,
Girl would you be my eyes, would you see for me.

And if I was a clown, girl,would you just laugh at me,
Would it be asking too much, to be taken seriously.

And if I was a beggar man, if I was a thief,
Would I have to steal your love, or would you give it to me.

And if I was a sick man, in my time of dying,
Girl would you grieve for me, would you be crying.

And if I was a prisoner, and they threw away the key,
No matter what I'd done, would you wait for me.

If I was a blindman, a beggar man or a thief,
If I was a bad man, would you still love me.

If I was a blind man, and I couldn't see,
Girl would you be my eyes, would you see for me.....

______________________________________________________

no choruses or bridges, just short verses...I'm thinking, start with just piano and soft electric for intro, bringing more instruments in along the way....two verses, solo, two verses, different solo, two more verses, another solo, then the first verse repeated quietly....

I've run through this on guitar, seems to be about 8 mins long at the moment....and I've recorded about 9mins of piano so far! I've a feeling this one is going to keep me busy for a day or two......

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@chefie)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 553
 

Hey Vic,

I like this one A LOT.

Couple of minor suggestions . . . . . just to break up the pattern, it would be nice to hear a bridge after the beggar man verse. Something that I came up with that I'm sure you can replace with something better;

no matter who I was
no matter who I am
I'm being all I can be
to be just a man

Too, for logic's sake, you might want to place sick man after prisoner.

Would love to hear the music.

Really good work.

Neil


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
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Topic starter  

Couple of minor suggestions . . . . . just to break up the pattern, it would be nice to hear a bridge after the beggar man verse.

I thought about a bridge.....but all the solos, I hope, should break it up a little - and the darn thing's already getting out of hand, length-wise....anyway, food for thought (Argh, CLICHE!) for when it's recorded...
Too, for logic's sake, you might want to place sick man after prisoner.

Definitely....hmmm, getting the strangest sense of deja-vu here, Neil.....
Would love to hear the music.

OK, OK, I'm on it....done the piano, working on guitar parts....got to get them straight in my head before recording....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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 Olav
(@olav)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 150
 

Vic.
I like it. Short and sweet and to the point
I am wondering If I'd like to see just one
person (the thief) in line 1 verse 3.
I know it ties nicely in to verse 6, but could
you use prisoner (or sick man) in verse 6
I'm being nitpicky I know……
Looking forward to hear it
Blessings
Olav


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi Vic,
I prefer the simplistic verses as you have here, I think this could sound quite good. I did struggle with verse 3 and verse 6 in terms of the rhyming, “thief” and “me” just doesn't do it for me.
Maybe something like:
If I was a blindman, a beggar man or a thief,
If I was a bad man, would this affair be brief

It's looking good Vic

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

I like wot u got so far Vic ..

I do think Pbee might have something there ..

I would be careful not to go down the Nickleback road like ..

"How You Remind Me..." song

Good luck with this Vic .Interested how it will sound

Trevor

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Hey Vic

Really like how this flows together. There's an economy of words and images and it works wonderfully.

I'm with Paul on the "thief" line, but my suggestion would be to break it up like this:
If I were a beggarman poor beyond belief
Would you give me your love or turn me into a thief?

Just a thought.

Looking forward to hearing it.

Peace


   
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(@kevin72790)
Prominent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 837
 

Hi Vic,
I prefer the simplistic verses as you have here, I think this could sound quite good. I did struggle with verse 3 and verse 6 in terms of the rhyming, “thief” and “me” just doesn't do it for me.
Maybe something like:
If I was a blindman, a beggar man or a thief,
If I was a bad man, would this affair be brief

It's looking good Vic

Paul
I agree completely here with Paul. That's the only minor change I'd make. Nice job.


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

I like Chefie's suggestion for the verse order, and David's suggestion for the "beggar man" verse....think I'll go with those for now....

Phew, this is turning out to be a tough one to record....did piano, guitar and vocal yesterday, managed to cut the time down to around 5 mins....but I'm not happy with the piano part, I'm going to have another go at it, see how that turns out....

Because it's one of those songs that builds from almost nothing, I won't be able to program a drum track, so that's going to be fun....other than that, I may have to re-think the whole dynamic of the song.....

OK - back to slaving over a hot mic.....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Because it's one of those songs that builds from almost nothing, I won't be able to program a drum track, so that's going to be fun....other than that, I may have to re-think the whole dynamic of the song.....

Vic,

I've no idea what kind of recording equipment/programming/software you use, but you might try this suggestion: program and record the drums all at one level and then mix them to the volume you want at the end. This way you don't have to worry about a lot of programming and still get the "build from almost nothing" effect.

Just a thought.

Peace


   
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(@lavadave)
Trusted Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 54
 

The song is really strong lyrically. The one downside, to me linking the words beggarman and thief conjures up the childrens rhyme and I fear that it could be viewed as an unoriginal lyrical turn in an otherwise very creative song. Probably just changing beggarman to beggar would do the job, but to me as soon as you put together the words beggarman and thief and my mind says I've heard this before.


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

The song is really strong lyrically. The one downside, to me linking the words beggarman and thief conjures up the childrens rhyme and I fear that it could be viewed as an unoriginal lyrical turn in an otherwise very creative song. Probably just changing beggarman to beggar would do the job, but to me as soon as you put together the words beggarman and thief and my mind says I've heard this before.

Hmm, good point Dave - the idea for the song came about from "Rich Man, Poor Man" - the old TV series - so "Beggarman Thief" was kind of a logical progression.....I'll see how beggar fits, but to be honest, I like "Beggarman" - the word has a nice ring to it.....but with David's fix for that verse, beggar might actually fit better than brggarman.... I'll try it anyway, thanks.....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

Recording update....

Scrapped the first couple of backing tracks completely.....instead of trying piano, tried organ instead....better sound, but....just scrapped another backing track.....

OK trying for take 4......

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
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Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
Topic starter  

And - I know you can cut and paste with Audacity, but somehow it just doesn't seem to work for me....

I'll just have to do one track at a time......

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

hey vic.

really like this:-)
i'd be tempted to keep "beggarman" anyways... like you said, it sounds good...
(and being a lover of weird rhyming/off-rhymes... i don't see why you couldn't keep the thief-me thing... what's that about nickleback? did they do such a rhyme?)

good luck recording. (man, you're so prolific and ambitious... :wink: keep it up.)
cheers,
straycat.

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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