Hey. I've been around the "Songwriting Club" for a while, off and on, but I've never posted here before.
I wrote this song last night between 1:15 and 2:30. I intended it to fit the "month" prompt from what, a week or two ago? But then I looked at the pre-chorus, and it almost fits the contradiction prompt, too.
Anyway, I figured I could use some practice, if nothing else, so I'm here. Would love comments of any sort.
Courtesy, December
A long dark night is calling me
As the thin sun flees from the evening
I'll bet you could use some company, it says
Won't you let me keep you up 'till the morning
I'm too alone to think
I'm too tired to sleep
It's too dark to not see
That you're my thin thread to sanity
(Chorus)
And I know I'm gonna be with you soon
But soon is never soon enough
And it's too tough, it seems, sometimes
To last through another night
I know you miss me, too
We're both trying to make it through the dark
But it's hard, when there's no end in sight
You gotta love these December nights
During the day it's easier, sure it's dull and gray,
But you've got school, and I've got work
Hell anything to fill the time
'Till you're in my arms, telling me you always be mine
But then the darkness calls to me again
Just another old, backstabbing friend
It's gonna be a cold hell out there tonight
But that's nothing to being me trapped with me 'till it gets light
I'm too alone to think
I'm too tired to sleep
It's too dark to not see
That you're my thin thread to sanity
(Chorus)
Well, I know I'm gonna be with you soon,
But soon is never soon enough,
And it's too tough, it seems, sometimes
To last through another night
I know you miss me too
We're just trying to make it through the dark,
But it's hard when there's no end in sight
Oh, don't you love these December nights?
(Bridge)
What I wouldn't give for just a few more hours of light
Just to help fight off this loneliness
Or make it dark all day, every day, if I can sleep
So I can dream of you instead
(Chorus)
I know I'm gonna be with you soon
But soon is never soon enough
And it's too tough, it seems, sometimes
To last through another night
I know you miss me too
Just trying to make it through the dark
But it's hard when there's no end in sight
Oh you gotta love these December nights,
Don't you just love these December nights...
Hey Saint_duud,
Well done mate, two assignments in one go. I think you have the makings of a good song here. I like the punchy feel the pre-chorus has as a contrast to the longer chorus. Actually I might be inclined to shorten that a little bit.
You gotta love these December nights
Great line
Cheers
Paul
Well written, nothing really popped into my mind regarding criticism. Can you record a version for our listening pleasure?
Uhmm, I'd love to, but I've never really figured out how. Not so computer savvy.
Hi
Nice lines
But you seem to have two choruses - or at least you repeat the verse with I'm too alone to think a couple of times.
I guess there are no rules that cant be broken but it could make the music composition difficult. Do you think it would work if you split your existing chorus into two verses and used the above as chorus instead?
(What are the rules for chorus/bridge etc anyway? Are there any? Can anyone educate me :? )
Good work
Ola
“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh
It's a prechorus.
As for rules for any of it, if there are any, I don't know them. I for some reason have it in my head that a bridge is something, usually towards the end, that is neither a verse nor a chorus, usually lacking the structure of either, but something different. I am probably completely wrong, though.
Anyway, yeah, prechorus. And, don't really know. (Summary of the above).
Yeh, well, we make the rules eh!
I guess my point is that apart from the chorus a lot of things are repeated. Nevertheless, what you have written is poignant stuff.
Re recording, I think there are quite a few different ways to record & upload - some more simple than others. I guess a computer has to be involved at some stage. Perhaps you could put a question in the relevant forum; Im sure you will want to set your word to music soon. I started off not really worrying about that but now that I am doing some of the writing assignments I can feel the music in my bones - its gonna have to come out sometime soon! :wink:
Cheers
Ola
“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh
