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I start my new life

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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
Topic starter  

Hi

well I start my new job Monday 10 of July , and this is this week and how I feel ...

Monday morning
feeling glad
They have my warning
I won't be sad

Tuesday morning
Work is there
I won't be mourning
I don't really care

Wednesday is here
Go through the paces
Looking forward to my beer
Going slow I' not racing

( chorus)
Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am

Thursday comes
Around so soon
Never thought this day would come
This will end my life of doom

Friday finally
Tell that boss to get stuffed
My new life is about to start
5 p m I 'm on my way

(outro )
For I start my new life
at

Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am
Monday 8 am

===========

comments as usal appreciated

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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chefie
(@chefie)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 553
 

Hi Hilch,

I love the simplicty and the sentiments. They really come through. A couple of minor things made me stumble while reading the verses. You have a rhyming pattern, but . . . . . . "paces" and "racing" is stretching it a bit. A quick suggestion that came to mind:

Wednesday is here
Go through the paces
Looking forward to my beer
Just covering the bases

Also, and maybe because it was the last day and not rhyming was intentional to break the pattern . . . . . . but if not maybe something like this would work;

Tell the boss what's in my heart
Cause it's Finally Friday
my new life's about to start
5 pm I'm on my way

Anyway, I really like it. I just started a new job, myself, last week. Though I couldn't tell my boss off too much because it was me.

Good work!


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

July 10, well your in good company in terms of red letter days, this is a very significant date in New Zealand, for two reasons 1) July 10 1967 decimal currency was introduced in NZ, out with the Pound and in with the Dollar 2) Just before midnight on 10 July, 1985, the French secret service detonated two bombs in Auckland harbour, sinking the Greenpeace vessel Rainbow Warrior and killing one of the crew. They didn't want Greenpeace to protest their testing nuclear weapons in the South Pacific.

As for the song, I love it. I think Chefie is right with paces and racing comment. I think his edit would be fine or even:

Wednesday is here
Go through the paces
Looking forward to my beer
Just doing the basics

I also like Chefies Friday verse, its more elegant than telling your boss the truth ( I know you want to). Actually IMO its never a good idea to burn your bridges (oops that was last week week wasn't it).

Good song mate, I'm hearing “bright and bouncy “ with this one, maybe even some whistling at the end, can you whistle? :P (I'm just teasing you by the way).

Good work

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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David Hodge
(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Hi Hilch

This is nice and to the point. Like Paul and Neil (Chefie), I think the Wednesday verse could stand a little tweaking. Here's another idea to throw at you:

Wednesday is here
Go through the paces
Looking forward to my beer
And not seeing vapid faces

Looking forward to hearing this (and hopefully not seeing a rewrite in four months! :wink: )

Peace


   
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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
Topic starter  

NO WAY David

I have been where I am for far too long and I have became a cranky 42 year old who is just plain bitter with the world ATM ..

This change will be the best thing for me and my family and I won't be changing again till I am ready to retire ( actually I am ready to retire right now )

3 terrific ideas on the same line , which one shall I use my lord ,

all the peasants yell pick 3 my lord pick 3 ...( Shrek movie )

I really do need to get a life and stop watching little Noah's videos ...

Thank you Neil , Paul and David , appreciated

Paul I learned something from your post

I think it was Febuary 1966 Australia intrroduced decimal currency yet again Aussie beat the Kiwis at something .. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hilch

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

B*gger


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
Topic starter  

Well I did it :

Friday finally
Tell that boss to get stuffed
My new life is about to start
5 p m I 'm on my way

Second line and it got me home 3 hours earlier then I expected . :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ahhhh Saturday's and Sunday's now become a week-end
( what do people do with 2 whole days off every week ?)

I don't know as I have never had a whole week end off myself ... But I am sure the Mrs will find something for me to ...

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Tell that boss to get stuffed

Second line and it got me home 3 hours earlier then I expected
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8)

You can sit and watch the Wallabies vs the All Blacks and yes I know its not your game, or you can play the guitar (see, Im back on topic) :D


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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sunsetN!nja
(@sunsetncnja)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
 

I like it. It's simple, but effective at conveying what poor office stiffs like myself feel on a weekly basis. I kept thinking of the ubiquitous Daniel Powter "bad day" song, which could be completely different from what you have in mind musically, but the words seem to be ready made to be attached to a catchy melody like that.


   
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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
Topic starter  

Sober Pete ?

me sober ?

ahh that will happen after I stop drinking :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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Bob
 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi Hilch

Good piece - nicely conveying the sentiment of shaking off the shackles.

Congrats on the job.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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