Okay, truthfully, I don't think I ever put this much effort into a song. I just let it sort of write itself. The only time I'm that methodical is when I'm given a specific assignment, and other than on here, I'm not usually that restricted to what I can write or how I can write it.
However, I was having a conversation with this older lady--married, in her 40's, and we got on the subject of songwriting. She said no one had ever written her a song or a poem or love letter, anything, and I kind of got the impression that she was hinting. I didn't have a problem with doing something nice for her, since she really is a nice lady, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't really know enough about her to write a song--despite what she seemed to think. But rather than let her down, I told her I'd give it a shot.
Okay--the process--I asked her to tell me some things about herself and I made a list. Good sense of humor. Good mom. Good wife, blah, blah, blah.
Not sure I had a set rhyme scheme in mind, but typically I think I tend to lean toward ABCB.
Typically the conversations I had with this lady were pretty casual and brief, but a few isolated times she mentioned her husband and though she never could really bring herself to complain, I still got the impression he wasn't exactly her Prince Charming--at least, not anymore.
So I tried to write a fluff song just to make her happy. But I got nothin'. So after a few failed attempts, I did what I always do--let the song write itself. Naturally, what I ended up with was nothing like what I'd intended.
More Than She Needs
©2005JKovak
Oh she never complains
But you can see in her eyes
The longing that hides
Behind every smile
No she doesn't need much
But when she smiles she believes
She loves the life that she leads
But she misses his touch
When he was able to see
She wants more than she needs
Though she never complains
You can feel her heart ache
Knowing she'll always
Give more than she'll take
No she doesn't need much
And when she smiles she believes
She loves the life that she leads
But she misses his touch
When he was able to see
She wants more than she needs
No she never complains
But you can hear in her voice
The laughter disguising
The doubts of her choice
From when he touched her that way
Tried so hard to please
When he kissed her that way
And made her believe
He'd always love her that way
Well he didn't succeed
And now she knows what she wants
Is not what she needs
No she doesn't need much
And when she smiles she believes
She loves the life that she leads
But she misses his touch
When he was able to see
She wants more than she needs
Oh she misses his touch
When he was able to see
She wants more than she needs
She wants more than she needs
She wants more than she needs....
Great work Joe! A very sensitive song, one that feels for another, and I think that makes for great peices. The song works without the story, but knowing that there's a real woman being sung about adds a lot (be sure to include it in the liner notes when you release it).
If I've got to pick out anything to complain about (and you know me well enough that I've got to complain about something) it is that the verses are short relative to the chorus. I think the music you pick could balance things, but I'd be tempted to add some extra lyrics to at least one of the verses. What's left to say? Honestly, I don't know.
Other than that... good stuff. I love the hook, very clever.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
I like it Joe... I really like the story behind it. But I do agree with SP that it comes across with the verses being way to short compared to the chorus. When I sung through it, my way. It was difficult to sing because of that.
But, as usual, you have a terrific way of putting the words together.
Geoo
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” - David Russell (Scottish classical Guitarist. b.1942)
Thanks, Guys. Actually, I should have written it out differently because on the read the verses do seem short, but each line in the verse is 8 counts, and each line in the chorus is 4. Sort of picks up a little on the chorus, and the bridge. The contrast seems to go with the story. If I can get the MP3 thing figured out, I'll try to record it. I did it with me singing and playing drums, and then with my girlfriend singing and me playing a hand drum, and maybe it's just personal preference, but I liked the second version better. With the hand drum and the female voice, it kind of has a Sade feel to it. Anyway, thanks.
Joe
Verse Picking
Oh she never complains (8)
Chorus Strum
No she doesn't much and when she smiles she believes (8)
Heh don't you love it when things turn out totally different from how you meant them?
I don't know about the lenght of the verses vs chorus.. Depends on how you perform it I guess.
I surely like it =D Thanks for the read
Hey Joe,
I cant let you get away with writing a great song without finding something to complain about. But the fact is I can't find anything apart from … (nah just joking). Great song Joe.
But she misses his touch
When he was able to see
She wants more than she needs
It took me a few reads to understand that last line, Very subtle, very nice.
Cheers
pbee
