My Own Little Corner of Hell
also for Masako...
I just can't get into the psycho sh*t
Like zombies who scream in your head
And it's really amazing how soon we forget
All those evil things that they said
Too much suspicion for me around here
I'm sick of that look in your eyes
With a Death grip you cling to irrational fears
Paranoid accusations and lies
I awaken every morning in the same damn place
What the f**k am I doing here
Life used to be cool, now it's all gone to waste
Guess we don't see too clear
Can't imagine what our baby is feeling inside
As he tries so hard to grow and learn
One minute we're standing with arms open wide
With a flick of a word, it burns
There ought to be a law against demons like you
Yeah, the ones who don't seem to care
After all this time, and everything I've been through
I just needed someone to be there
Here it is, I wrote it down, this is really how I feel
Come visit me someday in my cell
I'm easy to find, just look somewhere beyond the unreal
My own Little Corner of Hell
Welcome to SSG snake.
SO I'm kind of getting a John Denver "Sunshine on my Shoulders" vibe from this one...
Not really.
I'm not sure if this is for this weeks SSG assignment or not. I saw you posted on the other board so you obviously know its there. So by that Im guessing that this song is for our topic this week. I'm not really seeing any sort of "folkyness" to this one. I suppose you have written about a place though.
This looks to be more of a poem than a song. But then again I don't know what type of music you really have going behind this one. First impression is that it's sort of arbitrarily angry and I can't really figure out what you're angry about (and I have this problem a lot when reading songs around here.) Â I'm not saying anger doesn't have its place. But if you can't convey to others what you're angry about, no one's going to feel it. And that's really the point right? Tell us your story. Make us angry. Telling us you're angry doesn't accomplish much.
-Marv
This one is supposed to be a synopsis of life with some one who make life difficult, hence the anger...
Actually, it's about my ex wife, who possessed that talent in abundance.
If anyone has any more questions or suggestions, please let me know...Thanks, snake
I'm not really sure where you are comming from either. It seems that you are saying you are locked up in a mental institution in some ways and others locked in the grip of some lover.
It's just hard to see where your comming from, maybe you can make it more obvious.
Otherwise I like the song and I think if you are saying you are locked up in a hospital, it works great.
Although I think you still need to make it look and feel like a song.
You don't have to listen to me, no one likes what I write on the most part. *laugh*
The reference to a cell is metaphorical...
Hi snake
Welcome to SSG - glad you stopped by.
I've got to say I don't see this comfortably fitting in to this week's assignment as I get a more 'angry rock' song here.
Just one point I think you lose a fair bit of structure as the song progresses. A lot of the lines become over long and the whole flow of the song gets interrupted. I think you should revisit it and try and make those lines shorter and retain the flow of the piece.
Good stuff
Bob :)
You are what you eat, eat well
