Howdy all, here is my submission for the superstition assignment.
Title: "Walkin under ladders"
Lyrics:
[Verse]
Well walkin under ladders
don't bother me,
It's a climbing to the top
that's so frightening
A false belief of fear irrationality
Is really lost hope and unchased dreams in your life
[chorus]
So walk under that ladder,
stare at the black cat,
you won't need the rabbits foot...
so step on all the cracks,
wake up on the wrong side,
you won't need the rabbits foot...
[verse 2]
well breakin a mirror,
takin seven years,
that don't bother me...
nearly as much as it
would to cut my hand
a false belief of hope irrationailty
is really lost pride and unchased dreams in your life...
[chorus]
So walk under that ladder,
stare at the black cat,
you won't need the rabbits foot...
so step on all the cracks,
wake up on the wrong side,
you won't need the rabbits foot...
[bridge]
follow me for a second,
while i tell you that,
you shouldn't believe,
in silly superstitions,
unless of course you think,
its true and its for you,
then we should go along our own merry way...
[outro]
Well walkin under ladders
don't bother me,
It's a climbing to the top
that's so frightening
A false belief of fear irrationality
Is really lost hope and unchased dreams in your life
Link to video: http://www.guitargrind.com/file/97-walkin-under-ladders-acoustic.html
Hey, I liked this once I finally got to listen to it (video kept stopping). Very catchy tune. Good vocals. Only thing I'm not sure about is the bridge. I kind of like the choppy music, and mostly the part that bothers me is the "merry way line." Just some suggestions that might not be that great, but maybe will spark an idea.
follow me for a second,
while i tell you that,
you shouldn't believe,
in silly superstitions,
unless of course you think,
its true and its for you,
then we should go along our own merry way...
Follow the black cat
Under that ladder
'Cause you shouldn't believe
In silly superstions
And if you think
it's true, you need the rabbits foot
It's a false belief of hope irrationality
or
Follow the black cat
Under that ladder
'Cause you shouldn't believe
In silly superstions
And if you think
it's true, you need the rabbits foot
Then you should just be on your merry way
or
I'll just be on my merry way
I kind of like the "merry way" line now with the change--has a kind of They Might Be Giants feel to it.
I think this way maintains the integrity of the rest of your song. Just a thought. Really enjoyed listening to it. When was the superstition assignment? I must've been on hiatus.
Joe
Hey X,
Nice song. Very Jack Johnson ( intended as a compliment ). I love the message.
Very good choice of tag line: "Well walkin... frightening". It's a clever, catchy line.
I can see what Joe's talking about with the bridge. You may want to try cutting some syllables. Joe's second version ( with alternate ending ), might work better. Give it a shot. Even if you don't go with one of his, the phrase "Go our own merry way" doesn't mean or even imply "separate ways" ( though making way plural would ). Joe's rewrites make it xplicit :).
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Wow excellent posts, I have incorporated those ideas in to the song.
Thank you so much for your time!
Superstitions assignment... I can't remember, a month or two ago I believe.
