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SSG Week 34: My Lif...
 
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SSG Week 34: My Life

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tonyj444
(@tonyj444)
Active Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

Had actually half written this already, shortly after i fell out with ma parents n decided 2 stay at uni over summer.

My Life

I should go out, I should scream I should shout
I don't want to
The shoes on my feet, should be walkin' the street
They don't want to
So while you are here, could you grab me a beer
If you want to
Don't care what yoou say, gonna sit here all day
'Cos I want to

There's a whole world out there, should get outta this chair
I don't want to
Go out and live life, just this once throw the dice
I don't want to
The look in your eyes, says you're so disappointed
In me
Says I'd do what you said, if I'd just use my head
I don't want to

It's my____ life
It's my____ life
It's my life
It's my life

All these things have gone wrong, I can't fix with a song
Though i want to
Sit lonely at home, just can't pick up the phone
But I want to
As I sit here confused, still I try to explain
To myself
That it's never too late, but my pride is at stake
And it's no use

-------------------------------------------------------------------

As always, all comments greatly appreciated, although i may not read them for a week or so as I'm off on me hols on saturday :-)

Tony


   
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Vic Lewis VL
(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Hi Tony, and belated welcomes to A) Guitarnoise and B) the SSG.....

Somehow Mr Melancholy slipped by me last week - I didn't see it, but at the time of writing, it's right underneath this post.... so i had a look, reads OK to me, and I like MR FIXIT's (PBee's!) suggestions.....

This one looks good too, but please - don't write in text, as if you're messaging someone, I hate getting text messages, takes me too long to translate them - English is the Lingua Franca here, use it properly and you'll be taken more seriously ... especially by the older members.....

Should be fairly easy to put music to, I can sort of see/hear this as an ascending riff - G/A/D, F/C/Bb. or something along those lines - what have you got in mind?

Hey, two weeks, two decent songs already - keep going mate!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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tonyj444
(@tonyj444)
Active Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 12
Topic starter  

Hi Tony, and belated welcomes to A) Guitarnoise and B) the SSG.....

This one looks good too, but please - don't write in text, as if you're messaging someone, I hate getting text messages, takes me too long to translate them - English is the Lingua Franca here, use it properly and you'll be taken more seriously ... especially by the older members.....

Yeah, that's a fair point. A bad habit more than anything, but I shall do my best to abstain in the future :wink:

With respect to music, as I said, this was kind of half written before i saw this weeks assignment. Originally it was intended as an almost upbeat rebellious song, basically "You might be right and I might be wrong but i don't care". I gave the song a pretty strong driving rhythm, all just on an open G chord, and then 2 staccato strums on the C at the end of each line. The third 'couplet' of each verse replaces the G with an Am and then just adding putting my little finger on the 3rd fret of top e at for the 2 staccato strums ( 02213 no idea what this is, my theory is virtually non-existant). Not sure I've explained all that amazingly well, but i don't have any way of recording at the moment, so that's about the best I can do.

Tony


   
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BarnaBus RoX
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Hi Tony

This is good mate , I agree with Vic though ( the text thing I have no idea what He said after that )

English is the Lingua Franca here I'm pretty sure there would be an Aussie saying for that ( if I understood it ) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ( joke Vic)

Hilch :?:

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

and I like MR FIXIT's (PBee's!) suggestions.....

geez Vic I'm getting a complex :(

Tony, I really like this song, it's defintely different, its a shame you can't record it cos I would really like to hear it. Id like to no how you deal with the pseudo conversation youve got going in there with every alternate line, I just think that's great.

cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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lotto king
(@lotto-king)
Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 777
 

Thank you Vic

I am really struggling here ,

I like the beer line

That brought a smile

Nice song , and please English for this old fart please

L.K

Aghhhh

Not only am I a senior citizen

I'm now a bloody senior member

Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?

over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )


   
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