Hi all,
The rest of my week is kind of shot . . . . but not in a bad way . . . . . I'm doing the catering for a Taj Majal concert, but I've little time for writing so I knocked out this quickie.
As ususal, comments and suggestions welcome and appreciated.
Neil
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN (You don't listen)
I say good morning
you say let's wait and see
I ask you what you'd like to do today
you say you'll leave that up to me
I ask which direction
you say you don't know
I say let's go straight ahead
and all you say is no
You don't hear what I'm saying
and I'm talking in your face
you don't hear what I'm saying
we don't come from the same place
there's nothing I seem to say that you understand
you think like a woman
I think like a man
why don't you listen
to any thing I say
whenever I'm looking straight ahead
you turn and look the other way
I ask you what your dreams are
you tell me didn't sleep well last night
and when I ask you what makes you happy
you say nothing ever turns out right
and when I tell you I love you
you say I like you too
I say let's get married
you say isn't there something else
you'd rather do
You don't hear what I'm saying
and I'm talking in your face
you don't hear what I'm saying
we don't come from the same place
there's nothing I seem to say that you understand
you think like a woman
I think like a man
Astonishing! :shock:
How on earth did you manage to create something of that quality so quickly??
Our time zone is different here, so when I went to bed last night the new Week 46 assignment hadn't even arrived yet. But when I got up this morning you'd already written and performed a great song. You caught the feeling beautifully with the lyrics, and I really enjoyed your singing too.
I'm sure that what I'm seeing here is the outcome of a lot of experience, and a pay-off from many hundreds of hours of previous work on your other songs. So I'll use this as inspiration to try and take up the SSG challenge every week, even if I don't get as far as something postable every time.
Cheers,
Chris
Neil,
First I wish I lived closer to you so I could offer my services on that Taj Mahal gig.
I have plenty of catering experience and love Taj's music.
But I digress The song is very good just a couple of lines that could editing in my view.
I ask you what you'd like to do today
you say you'll leave that up to me
Might work better as
And you say it's up to me
or
And you leave that up to me
Something along those lines
Also
whenever I'm looking straight ahead
you turn and look the other way
Maybe
You look the other way
Nothing big just a little editing
I love the lines
you think like a woman
I think like a man
Ain't that the truth?
John
Thanks Chris and John.
And John, thanks for your suggestions, they're spot on and I will incorporate them.
Sure you can't make it by next Thursday for Taj? I can always use the help!
Neil
Neil
Sorry about the lateness of my reply I am slowly trying to hear and read everyone ,
Yet again you keep surprising me with your words and singing , well done matee
Bravo
Trev.. :wink:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Hi Neil
Once again bang on for the assignment. This is very good. There's some killer lines in there but my favourite is
and when I tell you I love you
you say I like you too
I didn't know ho wthat chorus was going to work but you did it well on the MP3
Great stuff as per
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
