SSG Week 48 - Wandering and Wondering - with MP3

Hi Neil,

It has a good feel but is there any way you can get the vocals higher in the mix? - it's hard to hear you over the guitar and it sounds like you have a great earthy voice.

Hi Neil

Really like the shift between the alternating sets of chords with each stanza. It's subtle yet it keeps the listener's attention.

Two quick things:

First, I like this stanza a lot, but would tweak it slightly, simply to get rid of the redundancy:
so I packed my bags and left
had nothing to say
left nothing behind
it was a clean get away

Maybe:

so I packed my bags and hit the road
had nothing to say
left nothing behind
it was a clean get away

or something more visually exciting than "left." The first "left," that is.

And that brings up the second thing - there are a lot of places here where you seem to simply iterate the main ideas without contributing much more. That's not always a problem but it can lead to a bit of a rut. This verse:
now something's happening
and I don't know why
I'm wandering and wondering
and I'm starting to cry

is one of the culprits. Then you give us a little bit of specific action in the next one:
you loved me and I I loved you
at least that's what I thought
but when you said let's get married
I knew I didn't want to get caught

only to put us back on hold with this one:
I'm wandering and wondering
and I'm feeling so sad
I know I left in a hurry
and I know it must have made you mad

Your stronger songs have more of an identity to them, not necessarily to you personally, but to whomever is narrating the piece. Here, while the feelings are strong and easily recognizable, there's not much that makes them personal. One of the (seemingly many) razor's edges that the songwriter tries to walk is the path between the personal and the universal and here I think you don't give us enough on the personal side. I'm not sure I'm explaining myself well and I apologize for that and would also be more than happy to PM you with more thoughts...

As always, a pleasure to listen and to read your material (and, yes, do give yourself more voice in the mix - you've a great voice) and looking forward to more.

Peace

Hi Neil,

+1 to the comments about having trouble hearing you on this one. Having listened to a few of your song I know that I can usually hear, so I guess this is probably a one-off thing with this recording.

I also agree with the idea that it does seem to mark time or repeat in spots. I liked the sound and feel of "wandering and wondering" but using it eight times did feel like too much. Is there a way to add a touch more interest and variety instead? Perhaps an extra ingredient or a bit more seasoning? A dash more pepper for instance. :)

Cheers,

Chris

Thanks David, Chris,

Lots of really good points and well taken. My time has been very limited lately . . . . . . way too much work . . . . . so I haven't had the time to really focus on writing much lately, I've just want to keep something going so I don't get out of practice. These weekly assignments have been very good for me and my song developement. This one certainly is in need of a rewrite. Thanks for the suggestions.

Neil

I do agree with the comments above - but I always look forward to new MP3's from you, and I'm rarely disappointed. I was brought up with Radio Luxemburg on Medium Wave, with a signal that floated in and out like it was from outer space, with all the whistles and beeps to boot, so anything better than that is a bonus.....

You're still in that comfort zone, but what struck me about this one was the phrasing - you've had time to work on the song, and it shows. Not that there's anything wrong, per se, with previous MP3's - it's just that most weeks, you seem to have an MP3 posted within about 12 hours of the assignment, and with your songs - a bit wordy, a bit long - sometimes you don't have the time to get the phrasing and the timing of your vocals spot on before you record.

A question - do you record guitar and vocals separately, or just one track for both? It's hard to make out - I'd guess you do them together. My only suggestion would be record the guitar parts first, then add vocals - played back, you can always cut a little bit of a vocal track out and re-record it, but not if there's guitar as well....

I know I said "Comfort zone" again - but I do envy the comfort zone you're in! I just think you should rehearse your songs more before you record - nothing wrong with posting the lyrics on Sunday, and the MP3 on Monday!

All the best Neil,

:D :D :D

Vic

Thanks Vic,

Glad to see you with us still, even at the expense of not getting all that you want accomplished, accomplished. And, yeah, like always, I usually do churn out the song pretty quick, and yes, I do record the vocals and guitar together. I just feel that this forum isn't about trying to record a finished product, so I just go with it so I can get some comments and adjust the songs accordingly.

Neil