SSG WK 26

I'm not sure I quite understood this...however I love the uniqueness of it. Could you explain it a little?

A very moving song you wrote there PoeticSmile. :D

I would say the "overwhelming crowd" fits in nicely for this weeks topic.
Angel, moving through town
Got your eye on every diamond and gown
Angel, look at you now
Passing through every overwhelming crowd
Angel, look at you now

This verse or also fits too.
Angel, walking with your head down
Got your eye on every stone and crack in the road
Angel, look at you now
Passing through every empty sound
Angel, look at you now

From reading the lyrics, I understand it that an accident happened and the "angel" is guility about it.

...Oh and the title is where "noise" has to show up this week, pretty easy. :)

This is very interesting, and sad. I like the questioning of angel; if she really wanted to die to get the attention she so graved real powerful stuff like to hear what you have in mind for the music.

Hi poetic Smile

Here is a quote from Bob ..

"This week we're all about noise. Quite simply your song title for this week should contain the word noise in the title- so white noise, it's all noise (the usual cry of the aged relative at a wedding when the disco fires up), etc., are all acceptable. Let's see where we get to this week. "

Here is a quote from you :

This song doesn't really go with way other people's songs are going with the noise thing, but I think it still stays with the topic, just in a different way. I think.

This is still, very rough. I wrote several alternative versions, so...yeah. That's it.

Here is my suggestion , since this is a rough draft and a bloody good one at that , notice how everyone else is talking about your angel ? Thats great writting , now ....

IN here
You're father is holding you're mother
To keep her crying from knocking her over
ADD something with noise in it and tada solution ..
Like ...
City noises running through her head
People screaming is she dead

=================

Just a thought

Hilch :?:

Hi PoeticSmile,

I agree with others that this is quite powerful and emotional.
There's cops' instructing the medics where to park
And a blood spot growing over your heart
The place you split apart
I'm not sure about this verse. I think it's the first line that doesn't agree with me, though I'm not sure why. It could possibly be the mention of "cops" and "medics". I guess I feel I've been drawn into this halfway type world ("angel" reference), and the "cops" and "medics" reference brings me back down to a most definitely real world. I'm sure what I'm saying doesn't make much sense. :P

Angel, moving through town
Got your eye on every diamond and gown
Angel, look at you now
Passing through every overwhelming crowd
Angel, look at you now

Angel, walking with your head down
Got your eye on every stone and crack in the road
Angel, look at you now
Passing through every empty sound
Angel, look at you now
I really liked these two verses. :)

Well done. 8)

Thanks guys, for the comments. They're great.

IN here
You're father is holding you're mother
To keep her crying from knocking her over
ADD something with noise in it and tada solution ..
Like ...
City noises running through her head
People screaming is she dead

Hilch, I really liked the lines you came up, so I'm going to use them. Thanks. They're really good.

Hi PoeticSmile,
I like this song and I am quite comfortable with the noise and hustle and bustle that this song implies. But I do think that Hilch's suggestion and your edit is excellent, well done.

cheers

Paul

Poeticsmile,

Well done! The only thing is I'm not clear if Angel
is a suicide or victim of someone else's hand.

The way I read it is suicide but it could be clearer
or maybe I'm dense.

John

Glad they were useful for you

keep up your writting

Cheers

Hilch :?:

Hi PoeticSmile

Certainly a different take on the assignment and I think hilch's suggestion was a good solution to keeping it relevant to the assignment topic.

Good stuff

Bob :wink: