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SSG Wk 45 - Keep It Simple + MP3

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(@raystrack)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 123
Topic starter  

Here we are a new, simple song with simple chords about the simplicity of hetero-sexual pair-bonding. :P

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5762675&q=hi

"Keep It Simple"

God rested on the Sunday
everything he saw looked good
just one mean thing that spoiled the scene
in that Eden neighbourhood

the first bad thing in history
was the loneliness of man
the recipe was she for he
and the story had begun

It's pretty basic logic
when you pare the whole thing down

keep it simple, keep it plain
keep it fun and play the game
after all these years I can't complain
it's corny but it's true
I'm so in love with you

the maths were pretty simple
in those empty pocket days
two hearts and one ambition
no setbacks could erase

two heads, four arms and four legs
fitted in one bed
have halved the costs and doubled fun
in the life that we have shared

It's pretty basic logic
when you pare the whole thing down

chorus + repeat

(©2007 Ray Stroud)

http://www.raystroud.com
http://www.myspace.com/raystroud


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Ray

Nice one!

I find the pre-chorus interesting
It's pretty basic logic
when you pare the whole thing down
On first reading this seems like it shouldn't work but when you listen to the MP3
it's the best part of the song

The chorus itself is pure Nashville

Good Job

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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(@manontheside)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 179
 

Hi

Loads of MP3's I want to comment on, this being my first, but this was a great start!

I liked the pre-chorus as well, I thought it would be sweet if you found someone to sing that part with you. That's what I was expecting to hear, so I just thought I should mention that.
Also, I feel like the melody is playful and the words go right along with it. Both the meter and the rhymes were really good.

The only thing I had to nitpick on was the last verse, but the more I read it, the more I like it. I think it was all the legs and arms in a bed part, but I get it now. I do :) Also, it fits progression of the lyrics. I take back the nitpick.

:)
.man

"I wish there was an over the counter test for my loneliness"


   
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(@corlenya)
Active Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 12
 

Useless comment: I think it's awesome!


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

This is terrific, Ray!

Two things I might suggest are:

The last verse, you might find it sings a little smoother by reversing the legs and arms:

two heads, four legs and four arms
fitted in one bed

"Legs" just seems a little garbled when it comes last. Another idea would be to substitute "feet" and "hands" for their respective limbs.

And in this verse:

the first bad thing in history
was the loneliness of man
the recipe was she for he
and the story had begun

Call me silly, but I miss the rhyme and it would be easy enough to do:

the first bad thing in history
was the loneliness of man
the recipe was she for he
and that's how it all began

These are truly little things. I like it fine enough as it is!

Looking forward to more.

Peace


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Nothing much to add to what's been written above, but I did enjoy the MP3! Nicely played and sung, very catchy - found myself humming it after just one listen! Particularly liked the acoustic guitar - nice rhythm, some catchy little riffs in there too!

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@raystrack)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 123
Topic starter  

Thanks for the comments. I like it too and have played it several times today, knocking corners off the lyrics and finalising the chord structure. As a Pop/Rock fan I'm a little concerned my first two efforts have ended up as Country songs :shock:

I like oblique rhymes rather than full-on ones where the last syllable has to match exactly - nevertheless 'that's how it all began' is a good substitute.

'Two heads, four arms and legs' is I feel, the best alteration to the original line, as it was a bit of a tight fit.

Keep It Simple Stupid has given me an idea for a more complex song which I hope to finish this week.

http://www.raystroud.com
http://www.myspace.com/raystroud


   
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(@chris-c)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 3454
 

Great job. :)

I liked the balance between a story that was straightforward enough to follow, yet had room enough for plenty of imaginative imagery. And I particularly liked the clarity of the vocals, and the recording in general.

It's hard, with amateur level gear and minimal experience to get a recording that will speak for itself, without the need to write out the lyrics. Many of the mp3s I hear on websites have vocals that are just too muddy to be able to hear what the heck the story is, and the lyrics have to be read separately to find out what was supposed to be going on. :? Yesterday I tried to record a song to submit this week, and it was all thoroughly muffly and muddy. So today's task is to try again and see if I can do a bit better. I won't get anywhere near your clarity, but it was great to hear anyway.

As a Pop/Rock fan I'm a little concerned my first two efforts have ended up as Country songs :shock:

I think this is probably an officially recognised Syndrome.

When I try and write songs I sit down as Tom Waits, but always seem to stand up again closer to John Denver.... it's a worry. :shock:

Cheers,

Chris


   
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(@raystrack)
Estimable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 123
Topic starter  

It's hard, with amateur level gear and minimal experience to get a recording that will speak for itself, without the need to write out the lyrics. Many of the mp3s I hear on websites have vocals that are just too muddy to be able to hear what the heck the story is, and the lyrics have to be read separately to find out what was supposed to be going on. :? Yesterday I tried to record a song to submit this week, and it was all thoroughly muffly and muddy.

Being able to record the instrument and vocal separately and then mix then together makes a huge difference with my set-up. Comparing Keep It Simple which was done quickly on Cubase using separate tracks, to my competition entry Rest In Peace which was just played and sung in one go with a Sony Walkman mike on my PC monitor speaks volumes.

If you have a computer to record on there are some very cheap and effective programs like Sonar and Cakewalk and I know where you can get some very acceptable small condenser mikes for under £10 - PM me if interested

http://www.raystroud.com
http://www.myspace.com/raystroud


   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi Ray

This is just superb - great song for this assignment and a really well done MP3.

Loved it

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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