Skip to content
SSG Y10 W10 Room of...
 
Notifications
Clear all

SSG Y10 W10 Room of Musical Heroes

7 Posts
5 Users
0 Likes
1,645 Views
(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 328
Topic starter  

First venture into SSG, lyric only so far, any feedback would be appreciated:

Room of Musical Heroes

Verse

Arousing slowly crossing the sub and conscious bridge,
in the gray half-light monitor dawn
Greeted by Woody, Bob, Pete, Paul, Elvis, Tom and George,
Julie, Bruce, Joni, James and John

Verse

Past the stool, the music stand, keyboard, amp and cases
guitars in clocks, rugs, acoustics and basses
seeming small in this room of musical heroes
smelling morning waffles sees how the day goes

Chorus

When the songs play
This room of musical heroes has their hooks in this head
Cd's , concert DVD's and music books played and read
When the songs play
This room of musical heroes has this head full of their hooks
musical instruments playing from their songbooks

Verse

Plop in the creaking swivel chair to start the sounds,
someone's burning breakfast adrenalin
Make the weather, forums, e-mail, facebook, rounds
See what shape somebody's world is in

Verse

It's a room with more CD's than brain cells can absorb
A room with more songbooks than seconds to learn
A room of comfort and safety with a heroes music store
never knowing which song time will try

Chorus

When the songs play
This room of musical heroes has their hooks in this head
Cd's , concert DVD's and music books played and read
When the songs play
This room of musical heroes has this head full of their hooks
musical instruments playing from their songbooks

Outro

Reaching for a respite from how this stressful world goes
Retreat to the room of musical heroes
Pull a guitar off of it's string swing
Work on writing a song or just play and sing
When the songs play in the room of musical heroes
When the songs play in the room of musical heroes

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


   
Quote
(@chris-c)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 3454
 

Hi and welcome,

Lots of great images there. I got a bit lost in spots but that's no bad thing - if the old fogeys understand all the words too literally then it probably needs rejigging a bit... :mrgreen:

It certainly sounded like a room I'd enjoy spending time in. What are you like on the musical side of things? Anything to match the lyrics yet? Ideas about style, rhythm, melody or whatever?

Good luck with your writing and playing.

cheers,

Chris


   
ReplyQuote
(@hobson)
Noble Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 794
 

Welcome, Andy.

I don't think I was lost at all. You've really captured the feeling of being surrounded by great music and and trying to make your own, which is not likely to be as good even though you're also surrounded by instruments and other musical tools.

In the chorus, I would change "this head" to "my head." The rest of the lyrics seem to be in first person.

In the first verse, I think you mean "arising" or "rousing," not "arousing."

Last line of the second verse, I think "see" works better than "sees."

The third verse only makes sense to me if there is a pause between "breakfast" and "adrenaline."

Picky comments from me. Overall, I really like it. It will no doubt evolve when you try setting it to music.

Renee


   
ReplyQuote
(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 328
Topic starter  

Thanks for taking the time and the kind words.
Chris, I am still letting it roll around my subconscious for music & rhythm, which may result in tweaks.
Hobson, yes arising is a better description, will try it with your suggestions. Funny, I had "my head" instead of "this head" in the previous edit but was tempted by the "h" consonance sound. I appreciate the suggestions.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


   
ReplyQuote
(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hi Andy,

Welcome to SSG :mrgreen: I think you did great on addressing the assignment and took it in an personal direction, but finding a good balance between personal and universal.

I've been stuck on this topic trying to find a positive spin or basically taking a "noun" of a topic and putting it into a "verb" action form, but I think you got the right balance going.

Thanks for sharing :D

James


   
ReplyQuote
(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 328
Topic starter  

Hi James,
Thanks for the kind words, this will be fun! I going to word on the melody next. A little of free writing, thinking about all of the senses and word association helped me get started, some of it just popped in my head. Looking forward to your songpost!
Andy

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


   
ReplyQuote
(@pearlthekat2)
Trusted Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 61
 

I like whenever you wrote "when the songs play" but Im thinkiing that it should say"Where the songs play...the room of musical heroes." It reminds me of a music box, except that it's a room not a box, where you open the door and music starts...


   
ReplyQuote