After sifting through some options based on the prompt that didn't grab me, I stumbled on this title while freewriting on the here comes ___ idea. I wrote a draft on Tuesday that I didn't like enough to record so didn't want to waste everyone's time here with it. I actually started writing something else. Then reading other posts and freewriting jogged some ideas and I did a rewrite to get it to a point that I like enough to post. I still want to edit it more before I record. I have music in mind (a slower tempo folk style song on guitar :o maybe I'll try a hard rock or punk version :lol: ) for these lyrics. I am hoping to record by Saturday. Comments on the lyric are welcome or if you prefer to wait for the music that is understandable 8)
Chorus 1
C G
cling to acceptance things I cannot change
D A
they break into pieces when expectation comes here again
Verse 1
D2 A2
Hiding in the shadows down the hall
C2 G2
Wielding a relationship wrecking ball
D2 A2 C2 G2
Expectation directing tribulation
Chorus 2
D2(VII) D2(V) D2(VII) D2(V)
Here comes expectation again Who sent the invitation this time
A2(VII) A2(V)
Alliances Key intentions
D2(VII) D2(V) D2(VII) D2(V)
Here comes expectation again Changing grape pectin to brine
A2(VII) A2(V)
self-made vision creates frustration
Verse 2
D2 A2
Always whispering in my ear
C2 G2
Running a dictatorship by fear
D2 A2 C2 G2
Conversation controlled perfection
Repeat Chorus 2
Repeat Chorus 1
D2(VII) A2
Here comes expectation again
Hi Andy,
Good start. :)
I'll make a general comment you can take or leave.
Keep writing what you are doing and work on what works for you. I don't think there's much better way to be a better writer than to keep pushing through and trying what works and what doesn't.
I say all that because, like the last song, I can not find an emotional "entrance point" in the lyrics. Frankly, I don't understand what is going on....and that might not be a problem.
It comes back to the question of why write.....for self, others, a target group, etc.
.....maybe the music will bring an angle that will make me want to figure out what's going on in the lyrics, but in general, I don't think most people want to work that hard at music....
One song or genre won't appeal to everyone; that's why there are so many songs and genres......so this is a long way of saying if the lyrics are expressing what you want them to, great, but I don't get them....and I might be in target group of why you are writing music. That's ok with me. Is it ok with you?
Thanks for sharing.
James
Counting repeats, you use the word "expectation" 7 or 8 times (I lost count).
I get the general theme that expectations are often in conflict with reality. I just don't care of repeated usage of any word
"I have nothing to say and I'm saying it." LOL
"I have nothing to say and I'm saying it." LOL
Yep, a lot to think about in that article. I got it from another online songwriting forum, thought I would share here.
like the last song, I can not find an emotional "entrance point" in the lyrics. ..........
Thanks for the honest feedback and the attempt at a thoughtful delivery. I am still learning putting my stuff out means dealing with all kinds of criticism. For me there is an emotional entrance point in the last song (multiple relationships that slipped away to varying degrees). Upon reflection there is not much of one in this one. :shock:
It comes back to the question of why write.....
I'm still chewing on that question and the rest of the comment. I am remembering that since last July my goal is to write a song a week, and I have been doing that, admittedly some I like better than others and some I don't even want to play again. I had made a commitment to myself to write songs that meant something to me (or at least have fun writing it), even if no one else will get it.
Prompts sometime lead me to make a connection that I would not have made otherwise and take me to a writing that acts as an emotional outlet. Sometimes prompts take me to a dead end or a dud. Upon contemplation I do not have a strong feeling for this one and the fun is gone. :? So I have set it aside in favor of another idea that I wrote out today. It is based on a strong feeling from an experience yesterday that does not fit thisassignment, so I won't post it here.
