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SSG Y12W7 Here Comes the Train (Anna Karenina)


(@jamestoffee)
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Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
Topic starter  

SSG Y12W7 Here Comes the Train (Anna Karenina)

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12612342

=====Revised Version=====

She tried marriage
She was bored
Bored with all the riches life could afford

She tried morphine
She gave birth
No diversion gave her life worth

Chorus
Here comes the train
Coming to take her far away
Here comes the train

At the station
Ugly strangers stare
Ugly children; ugliness everywhere

On the platform
Reading her lover’s note
I’ll be late is all he wrote

chorus

solo

Carriage shadows
Red bag drops
Iron wheels keep rolling too fast to stop

She’ll cross herself
Then she’ll cross the tracks
Anna Karenina’s not coming back

chorus

=====Original Version=====
She tried marriage
She was bored
She had the riches life could afford

She tried morphine
She gave birth
She tried to figure what life was worth

Chorus
Here comes the train
Coming to take her far away
Here comes the train

At the station
Ugly strangers stare
Ugly children; ugliness everywhere

On the platform
Reading her lover’s note
I’ll be late is all he wrote

chorus

solo

Carriage shadows
Red bag drops
Iron wheels keep rolling too fast to stop

She’ll cross herself
Then she’ll cross the tracks
Anna Karenina’s not coming back

chorus


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Hi James

Another wonderful song! This could have very easily been very heavy-handed, lyric-wise, but you do a great job of simply painting a vivid and arresting picture.

The chorus, lyrically and musically, is wonderful. The verses, for whatever reason, have me singing "Bicycle Built for Two" (also known as "Daisy, Daisy") and that kind of diminishes the dramatic impact.

Also, lyrical build of the first verse doesn't create the hold of the second and third verses. Part of this may be because the third lines of each stanza ("she had riches life could afford" and "she tried to figure what life is worth") and more generalized than the lyrics of the other verses, which are as sharp as a photograph.

And it may just be me, but the start of the second stanza ("she tried morphine / she gave birth") is a strange juxtaposition. Still trying it out in additional listens to the song and not really sure if it works or not.

Considering you're taking an overview of what is an incredibly complex and deep character study (now that's an understatement), this song is very impressive. Again, great job.

As always, I look forward to more.

Peace


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(@andygetch)
Reputable Member
Joined: 10 years ago
Posts: 328
 

Hi James,
Agree with Dave's comments on the melody and feel of the song. I like the use of 3/4 time here, it also softens the blow. Great economy of words really like the line "She'll cross herself, then she'll cross the tracks. Love that Beatles Sgt. Pepper-esque sound in the middle of the song. How did you do that?

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1228093


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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
Topic starter  

POOF changes made

Hi David and Andy,

Thanks for the listens and feedback :D
"Bicycle Built for Two" (also known as "Daisy, Daisy") and that kind of diminishes the dramatic impact.
Guilty as charged, but since the song is not under copyright anymore and it was the first thing that popped into my mind and I ran with it.

Thanks for the critique. In pushing to find something better, I think I did.

I had changed the chords and was printing out the lyrics to write out the chords and I had a "happy accident" while I was waiting for the paper, I was just noodling on the guitar and came up with the now recorded arpeggio part which fits much better than what I was going to use on the revised version.....you just never know when you will stumble on something, but you do have to show up to be there when things happen
Love that Beatles Sgt. Pepper-esque sound in the middle of the song. How did you do that?
I played a solo then ran it backwards. I also used the effects called ECHOES

The is a great sale running on the software right now if interested

No Brainer Deal and details
http://www.dontcrack.com/news/

Package I recommend and use often
http://store.dontcrack.com/product_info.php?products_id=1366

Official web site
http://www.nomadfactory.com/products/echoes/


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(@john-sargent)
Prominent Member
Joined: 12 years ago
Posts: 948
 

Very nice


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(@hobson)
Prominent Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 794
 

A haunting dirge that fits the story very well. The effects enhance the dark mood. The lyrics are concise and powerful. James, you get a gold star for this one.

Renee


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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
Topic starter  

Hi John and Renee,

Thanks for the listen and post on this one. I too was much happier with the rewrite and am especially glad it turned out b/c I am now in the US on holiday for a few weeks away from my beloved equipment but with beloved family and friends :)

...so I am not planning on joining much in the next few weeks, but then again, who knows

This is our family's first Christmas back "home" in the US in 10 years.

-James


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(@davidhodge)
Member Moderator
Joined: 14 years ago
Posts: 4485
 

Enjoy your time with your family, James!

You can always make notes and turn in tunes weeks (even months) after any assignment.

Hope you and the whole family have a great Christmas. Travel safely!

Peace


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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 13 years ago
Posts: 2852
Topic starter  

Hi David,
You can always make notes and turn in tunes weeks (even months) after any assignment.

True true :D

Thank you for the well wishes.

Blessings and happy holidays to you and yours as well!

-James


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