More of a jingle than a song . . . but then consider the source.
Thinkin' Jimmy Buffett kinda thing . . .
Chords are A, D, E, D - one chord each line - five strums.
Chorus G,C,D,C (G,C,D,G?)
Cruisin'
[A] Took a cruise with you
[D] Cabin without a view
[E] Had a bunk for two
[D] I slept on top of you
[A] Food there was a lot
[D] Greedy is what I got
[E] Way too much was stored
[A] Tossed it overboard
[C][D]
[G] Just a Tennesseean
[C] In the Caribbean
[D] Tourists just sightseein'
[C] Last cruise this will bein'
[G][D]
Hurricane was blowin'
Bigger waves were growin'
Ship was to and froin'
More food I was throwin'
Eight or nine rum punches
I lost several lunches
Losing food in bunches
That includes the brunches
[G] Just a Tennesseean
[C] In the Caribbean
[D] Tourists just sightseein'
[G] Last cruise this will bein'
Copyright KR2
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Oops, got sidetracked there a little - didn't have much of a clue about Jimmy Buffet, so I looked up some of his songs on Youtube - just one or two, you understand, to give me a feel of his work. And ended up spending a pleasant couple of hours listening....why has no-one told me to listen to him before? Ah well.....
OK, it's a JB/Carribbean humorous ditty - works well as that. I can see this'd be fun to sing along with....
In this verse....
"[A] Food there was a lot
[D] Greedy is what I got
[E] Way too much was stored
[A] Tossed it overboard"
You've lost the consistent rhyming scheme you've got throughout the song - maybe something like,
"I had food, such a lot,
One or two many shots,
I was losin' the plot,
Overboard went the lot."
"[G] Just a Tennesseean
[C] In the Caribbean"
That got a chuckle - bet no-one's ever used THAT rhyme before....although shouldn't it be, "Two Tennesseeans?" You've brought another character in, in the first verse (took a cruise with YOU) and then done nothing with it. In a song like this, you can get away with a few dodgy rhymes - but the next one's a bit TOO forced for my taste. All I can come up with for the moment is, "On the last cruise we'll be in."
Maybe you should finish it from the other character's POV? Another verse to round it all off?
Keep 'em coming, Ken - hey, that's three songs in three weeks - and music to go with two of them, as well! (I've got nothing as yet - just a vague idea for a song - might have to try open G, or something different....hope that fires the synapses.)
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Thanks, Vic
Great input.
I made all the suggested changes
Food there was a lot
Greedy is what I got
Feeling good I was not (or Stomach was tied in a knot)
[A] Overboard went the lot
and
Just two Tennesseeans (7 beats per line)
In the Caribbean
Tourists just sightseein'
On the last cruise we'll be in
Jimmy Buffett is very popular in Florida.
He got his start in the lower islands of Florida (The Keys)
Became popular in the late 70's
"MargaritaVille" is my favorite. Great lyrics - good tune
This is him performing in Miami - at the now defunct Miami Marine Stadium (good memories) . . .
and more recently in NY
The stage was on a floating barge. (ever pull your boat up to a concert?)
Here's the classic version of Margaritaville.
The videos listed on the right there are his hits. (probably in order of popularity and sales)
You've heard of "Deadheads"? . . . google "parrotheads".
Oh, the lyrics to my song are not true.
Been on several cruises (Caribbean and Mediterranean) and had a great time on all and I am not from TN.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Hi Ken
Now I've listened to Jimmy Buffett (Margaritaville and Bama Beach) I see where you're coming from... :wink:
I couldn't think of anyone singing about throwing up their lunch while on a cruise, although I'm sure it happens all the time, but now I can.
I was also interested in what comments folks would offer because I didn't really know where to start. I need to hear you actually play this, but I've got Margaritaville in my head now... I really want to hear how you sing 'Carribbean' and if you sing it as you guys say it.. :D
It's good though, congrats!
Rock on!
D 8)
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!
Actually, I don't say it the way it rhymes with Tennesseean . . . but the people from TN do. :mrgreen:
I probably pronounce it the way you do . . . rhyming it with Libyan . . . or amphibian . . . (don't get me started)
so I have a hard time singing that line.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
Jimmy Buffett History.
He is from Mississippi, went to the same community college as I did (obviously years before me). I actually stayed in his dorm room.... His beach style music is popular all over. Parrotheads as his followers are called can be found everywhere along the coasts... His "sister" I think has a bar/resturant in Alabama, good place to eat.
No matter where you go.... There You are! Law of Location
Stomach's tied in a knot - I like that change, reads much better. Watching the JB videos on Youtube, I was struck by how much the audience were enjoying it - and how he got them participating, and singing along. That's the next job, Ken - get it recorded, start playing it at parties and get everyone singing!
I was also interested in what comments folks would offer because I didn't really know where to start.
That's why I wandered off to youtube - I needed a reference point, to see where KR2 was coming from. It's hard sometimes to add comments when you're unsure about a song's history, how it was written, etc - that's why a lot of the time you'll find folks saying "this reminds me of such-and-such-a-body" - maybe not the phrasing, or the lyrics, but just the general overall feel of the song. Write a protest song, you're going to be compared with Dylan; write a downbeat song, you'll get compared to Leonard Cohen, and so on. Some songs are pretty easy to decipher, others take a bit more work but in all cases you'll find the writer's grateful for your initial feedback, how the song strikes YOU, etc.
And as for cruises - well, I can't even manage a hovercraft trip on a sea as smooth as glass without feeling nauseous. Planes, trains, buses - no problem. Stick me on a boat or a hovercraft, though, and you'd better make sure there's a clear passage to the rail for me. Clear air turbulence? Bumpy road? Hah, child's play. More than five minutes over water, though, and you can look for me in the gent's...I'll be the one making the funny noises and turning a strange shade of greenish-grey!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Good fun song and good changes. :D
It's especially good to see the Buffet reference to give a feel for the song. Lyrics are weird things - they can look great on a page and just not work when sung, or they can look pretty awful on the page and come to life in the right musical setting. Some of those lines looked good on the page, and some looked .....um.... let's say, a little forced and rather hard to get away with.... but given the musical context I'd say you could get away with all of them.
Hope we get to hear you sing it,
Chris
Stick me on a boat or a hovercraft, though, and you'd better make sure there's a clear passage to the rail for me.
Vic
Thanks to KR2's song, we now know this is because your stomach can't handle being Buffeted by the waves...
:roll:
sorry...
Chris
Some of those lines looked good on the page, and some looked .....um.... let's say, a little forced and rather hard to get away with....
You hit the nail on the head with that. I'm having an awful time with this.
So, I went back to work on the Y6W52 assignment and made GREAT progress.
I really like the chord progressions I came up with. I'm playing the whole song (melody) in chords . . . each syllable a chord.
Needless to say it has a slow tempo.
This is where I need to be able to do tracks. (Because no way can I sing this and play it)
One track for the guitar and then record voice on it?
I'll probably post a question about the best and cheapest way to do that directly to my computer.
I wouldn't think I would need recording equipment for this . . . my voice is not worth it.
I will buy a mike and hopefully get a suggestion on some public domain software that allows me to handle the tracks . . . anybody here have suggestions for that? . . . I think that is all I should need . . . a decent computer mike and some software? . . . isn't that possible?
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
I'll probably post a question about the best and cheapest way to do that directly to my computer.
I wouldn't think I would need recording equipment for this . . . my voice is not worth it.
I will buy a mike and hopefully get a suggestion on some public domain software that allows me to handle the tracks . . . anybody here have suggestions for that? . . . I think that is all I should need . . . a decent computer mike and some software? . . . isn't that possible?
Yes, absolutely. Vic can tell you more than I can about it but there's a free program called Audacity that will do all you need. You can get a basic mic for peanuts. I don't know anything about brands etc though, as I use a slightly fancier rig (still cheap for what it can do though). The main thing is to be prepared to put a decent amount of work into the craft of singing - do your song over and over (against a backing track or click track until you start to get the hang of how to sing accurately (i.e exactly where on the beat you meant it to be, and at the right pitch) and how to 'sell' the mood of it. I can't do it properly either but I've started the journey (no names... but largely inspired by some of ladies and gents who sing here at GN....) Your voice is fine too - it's just not had any focused work done with it. Singing is one of the great free pleasures that is wasted by most people, just for the want of a few weeks work at the craft (wish I'd spotted that 50 years ago!! :roll: )
Good luck,
Cheers,
Chris
Ken, I like this, as I"m a huge Buffett fan, I can't really help but sing this to the tune of Bama Breeze with a little bit of changes now and then in the way it sounds.
In Space, no one can hear me sing!
You hit the nail on the head with that. I'm having an awful time with this.
I found out from the very first song I wrote that when you actually come to sing along, you find out all sorts of things about chord changes, tempo changes and....lyric changes.
I keep playing and singing the song, changing things along the way until it sounds right and find the right way of putting emphasis on things. Works for me.
It's a great learning tool this songwriting lark, isn't it? :D
Rock on!
D
I'm nowhere near Chicago. I've got six string, 8 fingers, two thumbs, it's dark 'cos I'm wearing sunglasses - Hit it!
Ken, I like this, as I"m a huge Buffett fan, I can't really help but sing this to the tune of Bama Breeze with a little bit of changes now and then in the way it sounds.
Thanks, Joe
I'm not familiar with Bama Breeze so I'll definitely check it out.
I did make a couple of line changes in the song. From
Food there was a lot
Greedy is what I got
Feeling good I was not (or Stomach was tied in a knot)
[A] Overboard went the lot
to
Food there was a lot
Greedy is what I got
Too many drinks I bought
[A] Stomach tied in a knot
and
More food I was throwin'
to
My food I was throwin'
This of course just builds up the imagery . . .
and postpones the inevitable . . .
until the story dramatically crescendos with him . . . .
vomiting everything he's eaten his whole life.
What a song!
Joe, if you can put this to music with a Jimmy Buffett ripoff, go for it!
I would be pleased to hear it.
It's the rock that gives the stream its music . . . and the stream that gives the rock its roll.
RE:recording.....
One of the problems I've had in the past when recording SSG songs is the time factor. Anything other than a simple strum pattern and vocal, I have to record separate tracks - the time constraint doesn't allow for a whole lot of practising a new song!
I use Audacity - it's cheap, like me, and user-friendly. (Yeah, I know, it's free. How cheap can you get, eh!) I'll record the rhythm guitar track first - paying particular attention to intros, extra lines between verses, etc. I'll have the lyrics written out in front of me and use them as a reference to keep track of where I'm up to. When I've got that down to my satisfaction, I'll play it back a couple of times and sing along to it, paying particular attention to phrasing. Then I'll prop my lyrics up behind the microphone - so I don't have to move my head - put the headphones on and record the vocals - there's a setting that allows you to do this, something like "record new track while playing previous track" - I'd have to look it up to make sure. After that. it's just a question of lining the tracks up correctly - sometimes there's a latency issue, a slight delay effect in the recording software; you can adjust this with the time shift button.
Then we're into advanced programming - well it is for me! - I'll probably copy the entire guitar track to a new track, it's easy to cut-and-paste: I'll move one track to the left, and the other to the right. Then I'll do the same with the vocals - this time I'll deliberately add a little delay, so that the tracks are very slightly misaligned as I like the echo effect. Hey, it worked for Lennon!
After that, it's just a matter of exporting the whole project as an mp3.....I use LAME, another free download. Stick it on Soundclick and voila. You can save your work at any point on Audacity - I use a new desktop folder for each song - which is handy if, at some point in the future, you want to add keyboards, drums, bass or any other instruments.
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
