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SSG Year 5 Week 16 - Words - with MP3

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Prominent Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 553
Topic starter  

Hi all,

For this week's assignment I went back to a song I had been working on for a while. It was actually a lot longer and I shortened it by 5 verses. As always,
comments welcome.


What Are These Words That I Write So Slow
What Do They Mean, Does Anyone Know
And Why Do I Keep on Writing

So Many Words from Which to Choose
Some Are Obsolete and Some Misused
And That Is So Confusing

Some Words You Mince Some Words You Chew
Decide for Yourself What You Should Do
That Could Be Fortifying

Some Words Are Simple Some Sophisticated
Neither Determines If Your Educated
And That Could Be Mystifying

Words Are Bullets Take Care When You Load
The Damage They Inflict When They Explode
That Can Be Frightening

and the words go round and around and around
some with hidden meanings and some are profound
words that I can't get out of my head
words I can't forget, words that I dread

Somewhere in Between the Lines
Are Secrets of Another Kind
Are They Worth Finding

As Pages Are Filled, Pages Are Turned
Some to Be Forgotten, Some to Be Learned
Is There Anything to You Liking

Does the Reader Prefer Facts or Lies
Doesn't Matter Long as He's Satisfied
What Was I Thinking

These Words That I Write, Wherever They Go
Go Unexplained and Reap What They Sow
And That Is So Exciting

So Take My Words for What Ever Their Worth
They're All That's Left When I Leave this Earth
And That There's No Denying

Honorable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 434

A lot of thought obviously went into this one with a good structure.

Personally I feel it is a tad philisophical for a song, not sure if a listener ( who is not reading the words ) would be able to take it all in.whilst in song form, as a piece of writting, excellent.

( I should practice what I preach :? )


I am a cloud within a cloud

you can hear my songs at :

Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2957

Hi Neil

I love the MP3 , very easy listening to music rather than a sing aolng song ..

The writting is very deep IMO and can't be just read once IMO , Good stuff again mate ..


Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am

Prominent Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 837

This is outstanding. I can see the message behind the song, and it really sticks out to me atleast. Perfect. Great job. A+. The music is perfect to the song as well. Great job, great job.

Illustrious Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 10264

Works much better for me listening than reading - you got a really classy tune there, Neil! Nice fingerpicking....

The one little gripe I have, if you're going to end each verse with a word ending in "ING" it might sound better if the previous syllable rhymed - like "lightning" would go well with "frightening", for example....

And you missed a good opportunity here....

"Some Words You Mince Some Words You Chew" - that verse was crying out for a line about how words could be biting....

But the MP3's well up to the standard we've come to expect.....well done!

:D :D :D


"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)