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SSG Year 5 Week 19 - Goodbye Baby, Hello Blues - with MP3

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(@chefie)
Prominent Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 553
Topic starter  

Gee,

Talk about pressure . . . . . how about the pressure of writing a song everyweek? Anyway, here's something a little different from me this week. And, yes, I know I need some practice with my phrasing, but this is just a first take. Thanks for any comments or suggestions. (And yes, Vic, especially you!)

Neil

http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart

GOODBYE BABY, HELLO BLUES

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
not everything in life is what we choose

something happened and I don't know what to say
I thought we were in love but that was yesterday
the time we spent together just me and you
it was just a lie, nothing was true

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart I don't know what to do

I need to find some answers, need some piece of mind
but I don't know where to look and I'm running out of time
and the clocks run down and the minutes tick by
there's no time left and I still don't know why

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart I don't know what to do

why did you leave me I thought it was love
why did you deceive me, what were you thinking of
and what should i do now that you're gone
I have no understanding of what I did wrong

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart I don't know what to do

and as I slip into darkness and all I feel is pain
there's no sense of reality and nothing seems the same
and how much can I take of this, I don't have any idea
every way I turn is a reflection of my fear

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart I don't know what to do

I'm bending and twisting and feel about to break
I'm lost and so alone, don't know how much more I can take
I thought you loved me and I thought it would last
now everything we had is part of the past

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart guess I've paid my dues

goodbye baby, you broke my heart
you think it's the end but it's really the start
hello blues, goodbye life
I thought I loved you I made you my wife

I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
sometimes you win and sometimes you lose


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hey Neil,

I cant listen to this just yet, but I really like what Im reading. I dont know if this was your intention but the feeling I got was that this was some guy on his death bed wanting to set thing to rights, which I thought was/would be and excellent twist to this song. Without hearing it my only comment is that I might be inclined to drop one or two choruses just to make the structure asymetrical, not a show stopper by any means just what I would do.
This good Neil 8) , well done

cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hey Neil,

great mp3 I liked the way you extended yourself towards the later part of the song, good stuff.

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Awesome MP3 Neil ..

I ove this piece of writting

"I've got the goodbye baby hello blues
you broke my heart I don't know what to do"

Keep em comeing Neil

Lovely stuff

Trevor

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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 Olav
(@olav)
Estimable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 150
 

Good stuff Neil. I especially liked how you deviated a little at the end. The repeat of the last two lines could even go on for
one or two more times in my opinion. My only concern with this song is the monotony of the chord structure. Although there
are plenty of songs written with only two chords so it may not present itself as a problem if you can capture the audience
with the story, which I believe you are able to here

Blessings


   
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