SSG11-Week33 Late

Hi James,

Interesting choice of subject matter that well suits this weeks assignment. Too, how you continued along the two different lines added to the misunderstanding of this song. It's always interesting how we choose to maintain our focus whether for real or for denial. I'd rank this up there as one of your better efforts. Definately enjoyed the MP3 as well.

Neil

Hi Neil,

Thanks for the feedback. :D

I'm still trying to stretch out lyrically and musically and I wasn't sure if this song would land on its feet or not, so I appreciate the confirmation that it was clear and subtle enough.

-James

HI James,

Definately clear, subtle, and with your usual humor that manages to add to the seriousness of the subject matter.

Neil

Very nice work. It started out sounding a bit like Nick Drake. Very nice guitar work on this as well. Is that you or one of your programs playing?

Hi John,
Is that you or one of your programs playing?
This time it's me. :wink: The vocals and guitar are on the same track recorded at the same time.

This was my first recording and I was still trying to learn/write the melody so I had to punch in two times.

Thanks for the listen and feedback. :D

James

I really enjoyed the song both lyrically and musically. It reminded me of Ray Davies a little bit.

Mark

Hi Mark,
It reminded me of Ray Davies a little bit.
I'll take that compliment :wink:

Thanks for the listen and post :D

James

I really liked this track, very melancholic and really nice guitar playing too

Hi Jordan,

Thanks for the listen and feedback :D

James

The guitar playing really makes this song. It fills in very well around the fairly simple melody. Together, they create an earworm. I like the specific imagery of the lyrics. Examples are: "speaking through her teeth with forced restraint" and "outside her house in my dad's Chevrolet." Much better than if you had said "she was nervous" or "in the car."

Hi Renee,

Thanks for the confirmation. I keep trying to be more descriptive in showing/not telling. It doesn't come easy but like you said it gets better results.
"speaking through her teeth with forced restraint"
This line as well as "Rubbing my head, my legs start to shake" came from a very useful and inexpensive writer's "tool" (pdf version $4.99) called The Emotion Thesaurus at thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com

Thanks again for the listen and feedback :D

James

Hi Renee,

Thanks for the confirmation. I keep trying to be more descriptive in showing/not telling. It doesn't come easy but like you said it gets better results.
"speaking through her teeth with forced restraint"
This line as well as "Rubbing my head, my legs start to shake" came from a very useful and inexpensive writer's "tool" (pdf version $4.99) called The Emotion Thesaurus at thebookshelfmuse.blogspot.com

Thanks again for the listen and feedback :D

James

That's kind of like a magician saying " this is how I did that trick" and then telling the truth. I would rather think that you created these lines.

Hi John,
That's kind of like a magician saying " this is how I did that trick" and then telling the truth. I would rather think that you created these lines.

:P Yes, I would not share that information if I was playing a live set to an audience....and they wouldn't even care to hear it.....but this forum is for fellow magicians and there is plenty of magic to go around :wink:

In fact, that's what I feel this forum is all about.....to learn from each other the behind the scenes tips and tricks that we can all use to be better magicians/musicians/songwriters :D

-James