Umm... on Monday I had Jury Duty. So I spent the day at the courthouse. That was my change of venue. This piece is actually built off one I started last year, but couldn't make it fit the assignment very well for that week. So after a spending a day watching cops & robbers & judges & lawyers, it seemed to fit this one OK.
Rosarita
==========
[v1]
Down on my luck, I needed dough,
knocked off a bank in Calexico,
then headed for the border
just as fast as I could ride.
I knew they'd form a posse,
to spread out south and find me,
and string me from a tree limb
'til I swung high and dry.
[chorus]
Rosarita, Rosarita,
I'm travelling incognito,
there're folks around who'd like to know
I spend my days with you.
They'd tell me to come nicely,
to a place where all that I'd see,
is a lovely ocean vista,
where bars obscure the view
[v2]
Rosarita, your smiling face,
could rival any angel's grace,
The music of your voice
outshines the mariachi bands.
I hate to be imposing,
but would you be supposing,
I could hide out here until I find
a place to make a stand?
[chorus]
Rosarita, Rosarita,
I'm travelling incognito,
there're folks around who'd like to know
I spend my days with you.
They'd tell me to come nicely,
to a place where all that I'd see,
is a lovely ocean vista,
where bars obscure the view
[bridge?]
From the window I see
a cloud of dust rise to the sky.
Stirred up by federale's mounts,
with fire in their eyes.
Rosarita!, we'd better run,
bring my pistol if you would,
I turn and find there's no one
where Rosarita stood.
[v3]
Rosarita tu es mi amor,
I love you so, my dear.
But I wish that you had told me,
that you didn't want me here.
Why didn't you just say so
Now I suppose I'll hang,
for just a sack of pesos,
my Rosarita sang.
[chorus]
Rosarita, Rosarita,
I'm travelling incognito,
there're folks around who'd like to know
I spend my days with you.
They'd tell me to come nicely,
to a place where all that I'd see,
is a lovely ocean vista,
where bars obscure the view
-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
hey scratch,
i will need to read this one again and really sit and critque this fully.
but as of the first read through it was difficult. which is not like you at all. normally your work flow very nicely and i can usually get some sort of rhythm going.
the story is very nice. understood it fully. it is great that you got something usefull out of jury duty, except time off of work. :lol:
will comment more later when i have time.
-CheapThrill
hi scratch ,
I really don't like saying bad things about other peoples songs , but I also had trouble with the flow , and agree with cheap thrill it is a good story though.
cheers :D :D :D
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Well you'll just have to take my word for it, I guess. It does have a fairly catchy rhythm, maybe I didn't break up the lines right or something. But if you listen to it with the melody I have in my head, it's not bad.
-- Scratch 8)
-- Scratch 8)
"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42
hey ya:)
I have to say....I don't have any problems with the metre or fitting it to a rhythm, I luv it :lol:
let me just confide to you some odd thoughts, reading the first verse I thought, hey kinda bon jovi feel to it...like 'livin on a prayer' or 'right side of wrong'(dunno why, don't beat me! .....anyways I used to love bon jovi and still like them, except, well 2 of their latest albums maybe... er... should be kinda a compliment....er let's skip that) then first time I read the chorus I was like hey that's like in that old gypsy movie with johnny depp(another compliment, I guess) and btw it's really clever, your chorus, especially the last 4 lines which have such a great rhythm.
the song has now more of a desert/Dylan/gypsy/Cohen feel for me;) but quite vivid so I can imagine your catchy rhythm fitting well.
the bridge is excellent, 'bring my pistol if you would/I turn and find there's no one/ where rosarita stood.' :D
V3 makes it all bittersweet, lovely:)
soooo.....you can see your song is very thought-evoking, throwing images at me:) and I'm confident your melody will sound great.
beautiful story.
really terrific, so to speak;)
bluenightangel
........I like you breaking out of your style a bit...although your style is great alone, this adds nice fragments to the fragrance(why did I write that??)
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin
I liked it. It has a few places where it doesn't flow well (at least to the meter I have in my mind). But I thought it was well designed and worked well. Good use of imagination for jury duty.
"Don't get trapped by the tyranny of four" Rikky Rooksby
Brillian what more can be said about this one. I guess I am just screwd up that I found the song to flow quite nicely. Maby we share the same cadence or something. I really like the integration of multiple languages in this song. There was a particular part in V2 that I really liked and gave me a very strong mental image:
I hate to be imposing,
but would you be supposing,
I could hide out here until I find
a place to make a stand?
This part just is a beautiful play on words. I just get a little lost in when you turn around and ROSARITA is not there "Que esta' Rosarita?".
I really like your song though plus 10 points to you.
No words no explination just music
I liked it, don't see a problem with the flow. hope to hear it on your web page soon. 8) 8) --the dog
I liked it straight away, had no trouble putting a rhythm to it....the story itself is quite reminiscent of "Whisky In The Jar" as done by Thin Lizzy, just set in a different place....the Mexican border as opposed to Ireland...
But I found it flowed really well, great story too....!
:) :) :)
Vic.
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
