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SSG4 - Week 10

7 Posts
7 Users
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 P0RR
(@p0rr)
Estimable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 141
Topic starter  

My best friend is an undercover cop on a drug unit, and to listen to him talk about his day you'd think he works in an office. I guess anything can become routine.

*****************************
I'm fully strapped, got my bulletproof flak
another go-round huntin' hillbillies & smack
got my baited traps, now I'll wait for the snap
keep the earplugs ready for when they howl "entrapped"

tonight it's a beat up Impala, out of state plates
a real Rhodes scholar, runnin' a little late
got an open container and he's carring weight
a trunkful enough to make him the next Bill Gates

tomorrow's the same, 'cept maybe a Subaru
the wheelmen all clones, drop-out rented mules
a carful of product, runnin' a red light or two
and you can bank on hearing "it's my 1st time thru"

it's the same old same old, your typical 9 to 5
you punch in you punch out, in between all the lies
you can say what you want cause I can't be surprised
I've seen it all, walkin' the thin blue line


   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi PORR

Great use of imagery throughout. I like the the use of everyday terminology in an out of the ordinary situation.

Last verse is a killer

Excellent stuff

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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(@davidhodge)
Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 4472
 

Hi Mike

Happy New Year and it's great to see you back at the SSG!

I agree with Bob that the last verse is terrific. I was thinking you might even make it your chorus, sticking it in between the other three verses. You could even make the title Walkin The Thin Blue Line.

Looking forward to seeing more of your material this upcoming year.

Peace


   
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(@martin-6)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 418
 

Wow! Very interesting song! is it a rap? The reason I ask is that the rhythm of the lines don't seem to adhere to any other genre I can think of. I think you should come up with a chorus part, and then it would be perfect.


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Don't know about rap, seems to flow nicely to me as a fairly uptempo 12-bar....great imagery, could see this being used as theme music for a cop show....

:D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi PORR,

Well the jury's out (excuse the pun), this is a good song. The last verse is certainly great and I agree with David that you could use it as a chorus.

Nice job,

Cheers
Pbee


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

What can I say that hasn't been said already ?

Great Job!

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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