It looks like this weeks topic has evoked submissions from the "dark side" so Im in good company.
My Window
© Copyright 2006 Paul Brady
Verse 1
Looking out my window late at night
Can't see a single soul in sight
Alone inside in more ways than one
Introspection has begun
Verse 2
Looking through this window late at night
You say get off your r's and get a life
But it's ok for you to work hard and play
Can't you see you're not me
Chorus 1
And your blood sweat and tears
Are just distractions
They're just reactions
To your fears
While this flood of sweet tears
Is my emotion
Just expression
Of despair
Verse 3
Looking at this window in my life
And work this moment or loose to time
Unafraid to search my soul
I look for peace found with release
Chorus 2
And your blood sweat and tears
Are just distractions
They're just reactions
To your fears
While this flood of sweet tears
Is my emotion
Just expression
Of despair
Hey pbee,
This is awesome. It kicks butt, there is not a thing that I would change about it. Wayta Go.
Hi Pbee
This very good I'm still struggling with this though :
You say get off your r's and get a life
you say get off your a$$ and get a life ( is that what you mean ?)
Apart from that mate terrific writting nice song ...
hilch :?:
ps
I don't hear any whistling at the end of this one :lol: :lol:
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Thanks Rejected & Hilch.
Hilch
you say get off your a$$ and get a life ( is that what you mean ?)
thats exactly what I mean, although I thought "r's" was an inspired choice :lol:
cheers
Paul
oooooops
sorry
whistle whistle ........
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Very nice song mate, I particularly like this
And your blood sweat and tears
Are just distractions
They're just reactions
To your fears
Great job :)
Pete
Ive posted an mp3 here:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=328886
if your interested.
WOW Paul
I just listened to your MP3
AWESOME
INCREDIBLE ...
I love it
I thought some humming at the end was coming up as I sang along with as the ending was getting nearer :lol: :lol:
Well done mate
You should be proud of this little baby
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Thanks Trevor,
I appreciate the validation, it's hard to be objective about your own stuff sometimes. Actually there are a couple of production issues that Ill have to sort out, like the lead in time. I only had an hour before CSI NY (my favourite program) was on TV, so it was a little bit rushed.
Glad you liked it,
cheers
Paul
Hey Paul,
I love where you took this assignment. A lot of great lines, my favourite of which being:
Alone inside in more ways than one
Nice job on the MP3; very funky, very hummable. The only thing I would consider playing around with is shortening the instrumental time between the two bursts of lyrics in the chorus; it feels a bit like two verses the way it is now. I'd like the extra time at the end, maybe playing through the chorus, then instrumental, then using the second half of the chorus as a tag.
It works as is, but next time you're playing it, maybe play around a bit with that.
Lyrically this is very tight; not much fat to trim. It's got conflict, it's got emotion, it's got pbee.
Good stuff.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
Thanks everyone for the feedback.
The only thing I would consider playing around with is shortening the instrumental time between the two bursts of lyrics in the chorus; it feels a bit like two verses the way it is now.
SP yeah I see what you mean, thanks for that, it does sound much better without so much in between, as you say, as is, it sounds like two separate verses.
cheers
Paul
Hi Pbee
Great stuff - just loved it.
Bob :wink:
You are what you eat, eat well
