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SSG4 Week 46 - ( If I held the ) Lightning

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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey all, feel free to take a listen at:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=337003&songID=4469996

( If I held the ) Lightning
©2006 Robert Gowland

If I held the rains
I'd wash your days of drought and famine out to
Sea, sea, out to sea
Hunger washed into the sea
Sea, sea, out to sea
Green fields bloom from sea to sea

If I held the winds
I'd breath life back into the lungs of orphans'
Mothers, mothers
Breath in orphans' mothers
Mothers, mothers
Tears dried by orphans' mothers

Foreign gold
Flows into
The hands that break your back
Foriegn arms
And finger pointing
Let you kill
Each other so much
Faster, faster
Kill each other faster

If I held the lightning
I would burn the cities of the rich to
Dust, dust, down to dust
Leave them lying in the dust
Dust, dust, down to dust
Choking on a feast of dust

I hate to overexplain my lyrics, but I think this one needs a bit of a disclaimer. The assignment is was supposed to be about an invention that let me control the weather, but I quickly realised that the invention wasn't really what this song was about, it was about what I'd do if I could control the weather ( ie. if I were God ). My intent isn't promoting terrorism, but in light of the rest of the song about injustice to the poor, an angry response seemed the only appropriate response. I realised after writing this that many of the countries represented on the forum have been attacked or nearly attacked by some who would use similar language as that found in my final verse, and I'm sorry if you find it inappropriate; I did not intend the connection.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

SlowPlay,

I didn't see this a promoting terrorism and find no offence.
I see it much like a song by one of your fellow Canadians
Bruce Cockburn. "If I Had A Rocket Launcher" always
stuck me as more a expression of anger than advocating
violence. I see this in much the same way.

The opening line is great with it double meaning and serves
well as an attention getter. Can't see anything I would change.

Musically it appears you are still in the experimental stage
you were in last week. I like the way this sounds. It seems
different from what we have heard from you in the past.

I feel it could benefit from some added instrumentation but
what you have is fine also.

Good Take On The Assignment

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 908
 

I got a bead on this one only to listen to the MP3 and see my interpretation was way off - always surprises me. I'd expected a more urgent song certainly not one that sounded as reflective. The lyrics describe a frustration and anger that the MP3 turns into a careful consideration.

Very strong lyrics but really well done. Very clever use of double meanings 'Foreign arms/finger pointing' I like it a lot.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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(@sytys)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 84
 

hey Robert, good song, i like the musical contrast of the chorus and how you brought it back to the flow of the verse at the end, on first read i thought it would be too repetitive but after listen to it, it works well, nicely done, did you have someone on back up vocals and finger snapping?

marty

sytys


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

robert, i think this song of yours is beautiful beautiful beautiful.
the lyrics are good alone, but with the music it's overwhelming how they shine.
i like the style you sing/play in this one.

... i just had to download the song ... so i can listen to it more often. really really good.
(i also found no terrorism in there.. i just thought it kind, loving and caring... "breath in orphan's mothers")

thank you for sharing.
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Thanks everyone for the comments, and for taking the song as it was intended.

John,
Yes, I feel it could benefit from some added instrumentation also, but I only play one instrument and I only really strum it.

Bob,
I got a bead on this one only to listen to the MP3 and see my interpretation was way off.
That's probably because the music sort of got away from where I intended it to go when I started penning lyrics.

Marty,
Thanks for the feedback; I was worried it may be a bit repetitive too.

I did the back up vocals and finger snapping by recording a second track over top of the first using Audacity.

Blue,
Thank you very much, that means a lot to me coming from you.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

SP this is another outstanding contribution I think.

The opening line is great with it double meaning and serves
well as an attention getter. Can't see anything I would change.

absolutely, that was what drew me in from the start, well done. And the harmony in the mp3 is perfect

cheers

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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