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SSG5 Week 35 - Reparation ( MP3 Added )

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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey all,

I hope the song is clear enough about its general subject matter. This has always been a hard issue here in Canada, and from what I understand, Australia as well, and to a lesser extent, the US. No need to pull punches on the feedback, the issue is important to me, but I'm not directly entangled in it. I just thought it would make for a challenge.

I've recorded it. It takes some inspiration from Paul's 'The Drum', except that I had a little electronic man play drums for me ( I drift a bit from the perfect drummer ). The strumming pattern I stole from Tom Cochrane ( I think it was a live version of 'Good Man Feeling Bad' ). The chanting I took from Martyn Joseph, again, a live perfomance, don't know if he ever recorded the song. Warning: it's a little long, 8:41. :oops:
You can listen at: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=337003&songID=5531327

Reparation
©2007 Robert Gowland

It's not hard to make an enemy
Just take another man
Find what you want and place him between you two
Then stare at him down the length of your gun

It's not hard to make a savage
When he speaks a language you don't understand
Demand of him that he turn another page
Or measure him with the Bible in your hand

Chorus:
But it's hard to give
What you've taken
And it's hard to sell
Reparation

After Chorus

It's not hard to start a genocide
Just take a mirror and stare at it for days
Go outside once your face is memorized
Then kill everyone who doesn't look the same

It's not hard to make a promise
Pump your fist, smoke a pipe, and save the day
Lay out your best intention, and if you play it right
It'll be a hundred years before you're ever asked to pay

Bridge

Bridge with lyrics:
Now dance around my drum
Full of talk of unity
But all that you can give
Is everything you stole from me

Chorus

After Chorus

It's not hard to make you listen
When armed men close your roads
But our children run through fire and dirty water
Everyday, will you listen to their ghosts scream

Chorus

After Chorus

Bridge

For anyone interested, these are the chords:
Verses:
Em G Em G Em G Am D Em

Chorus:
Am Bb2 F Dm
Am Bb2 F G

After Chorus:
F#m A Em G

Bridge:
Em G Am D

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 504
 

That's intense SP. Very strong lyrics. Nothing forced. Everything flows well. Good words but nothing pretentious. Well-done.

Joe


   
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(@embrace_the_darkness)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 539
 

+1 to what Joe said. A very intense song + subject, but you really pulled it off well.

I particularly like the verse;
It's not hard to start a genocide
Just take a mirror and stare at it for days
Go outside once your face is memorized
Then kill everyone who doesn't look the same

An excellent use of words and imagary there.

Great job.

Pete

ETD - Formerly "10141748 - Reincarnate"


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

I'm not going to suggest any changes - can't see anywhere where there need to be any. I'm not going to highlight any good lines - they're all good. Good, hell - they're all excellent, really well thought out and the song has a nice intense progression to it. Rob, my man, I think you've come up with something a bit special here! The subject matter's something Dylan and Neil Young have both touched on in the past - those are some big footprints to follow in, but I think you've pulled it off really well!

That's EXCELLENT writing mate! Every week, there's a couple of good songs posted here - every so often, there's a real killer. I'm putting this in the "killer" category! I've even tried the chords - work pretty well, but of course I've no way of knowing exactly how you're going to play them.....I'm REALLY looking forward to this MP3!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D

Vic

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2957
 

Just had a chance to listen

Awesome job Robert

Really thought the vox was brilliant

Trev

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Rob,

this is an outstanding song well done, don't change a thing.

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@ellenback)
Eminent Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 26
 

Fantastic, Rob, I really love your writing style - you have such visuals that come across, subdued, and yet strong, at the same time. Something I'm aiming for in my own writing.

These were my favourite lines:

It's not hard to make you listen
When armed men close your roads
But our children run through fire and dirty water
Everyday, will you listen to their ghosts scream

Wow! I kept seeing that photo of the little girl on fire in my head, after the napalm in Nam. I think you're crystallizing your skills, my man, and this is just a symptom of your thoughts, and the entire process you have going on.

I wanted it to speed up, tempo-wise, but that's about all that I would change, if it was up to me, and it's not. It's your style, and it works, too well...

Elle


   
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 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 504
 

Finally got to hear your music. Like Elle, I'm always wanting to speed things up, too--a personality thing perhaps, but you did a great job with the tempo, guitar, vocals, everything. My favorite verse:

It's not hard to start a genocide
Just take a mirror and stare at it for days
Go outside once your face is memorized
Then kill everyone who doesn't look the same

Very strong. And sadly true. Excellently done.


   
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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey everyone, thank you so much for the feedback. I'm glad you liked it.

Pete and Joe, yeah, thanks for letting me know that I'd captured some intensity in the lyrics; the issue demands it.

Vic, Trev and Paul, wow thanks, that means a lot.

Elle and Joe, yeah, a little slow: I laid down the drums at 90bpm, then recorded the guitar and it felt good, but when I went to record vocals it felt a little slow. Changing the drums would just have been a button click, but after recording over 8 minutes of guitar relatively successfully, I wasn't going to go back. If I re-record, I'll try at 95 or 100; it is a slower song, but it could use a small boost. Thanks for letting me know.

Elle, funny that you mention the photo of the girl running from the napalm strike. I heard her speak at an event in Paris a few months ago ( the lesser known Paris here in Canada :) ), so I had that image in my head too. Also, one of the native leaders here is named "Runs Through Fire".

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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