Skip to content
SSG5 - Week51 - kat...
 
Notifications
Clear all

SSG5 - Week51 - katreich,dhodge,pbee - mp3

8 Posts
5 Users
0 Likes
1,816 Views
pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Before I Met You
©copyright 2007 title=katreich, chorus=dhodge, postchorus & verses=pbee

I'm in love can't you tell
I'm in love it's just as well
Lost the past and moved ahead
Lost my heart found you instead

Chorus
I never thought people were petty
I never thought people were cruel
I never thought people were stupid
But that was before I met you

Post chorus
You're not like them
You're standin tall
Cut above them all

I'm in love with you know who
I'm in love and you know it's you
You saved my soul from history
From myself you set me free

Chorus
I never thought people were petty
I never thought people were cruel
I never thought people were stupid
But that was before I met you

Post chorus
You're not like them
You're standin tall
Cut above them all

Chorus
I never thought people were petty
I never thought people were cruel
I never thought people were stupid
But that was before I met you

You're standin tall

=============================
I'm hoping to have an mp3 up as soon as I find my voice, I've had horrible cold and a touch of laryngitis.
cheers
Paul

===================================================================================================
Rewrite
===================================================================================================

Before I Met You
©copyright 2007 title=katreich, chorus=dhodge, postchorus & verses=pbee

I'm in love can't you tell
I'm in love it's just as well
Lost the past and moved ahead
Lost my heart found you instead

Chorus
I never thought people were petty
I never thought people were cruel
I never thought people were stupid
But that was before I met you

Post chorus
You're not like them
Not at all
You're standing tall

I'm in love with you know who
I'm in love and you know it's you
You saved my soul from history
From myself you set me free

Chorus
I never thought people were petty
I never thought people were cruel
I never thought people were stupid
But that was before I met you

Post chorus
You're not like them
Not at all
you're standing tall

Outro
I'm so glad you're not petty
I'm so glad you're never cruel
I'm so glad you're not stupid
I'm so glad I met you

You're standing tall


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
Quote
DrunkRock
(@drunkrock)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 159
 

Wow, it may be the amount of Guinness, but I never thought of this direction for that chorus. While it's an interesting, different and original take on the chorus; I think your verses are counter to the point of the chorus.

The verses have a positive attitude about the "you" in the verse. The verse therefore either means: a) Your love makes you hate everyone else...not exactly what you would expect love to do; or b) you totally forgot to explain why you hate your lover.

I think you have to reconcile the discrepancies in order to create a better song.


   
ReplyQuote
pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Hey DR,
thanks for the feedback, I choose option a) not exactly hate everyone else but our luckless hero feels that on reflection before his new love appeared on the scene he didn't realize how much of a bad time he was having. I think if I were to critique this song I would say it probably needs another verse or bridge to elaborate on the above and make it clearer.

Guinness ? have one for me :D
Cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
ReplyQuote
pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

I've tweaked the song just a bit.

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
ReplyQuote
Celt
 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2649
 

Paul,

I like the juxtaposition between the Chorus and the verses.

Very interesting how you took something negative and turned it around.

One possible idea to help clear up any confusion would be to make a slight change to
the chorus. (If that is allowable?) Change the word never to always and the confusion
goes away.

Just a thought

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


   
ReplyQuote
pbee
 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2096
Topic starter  

Thanks John,
yeah that mod would work.

Ive put an mp3 up here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=328886 if you don't mind the husky voice (one day I hope to get my voice back).

Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
ReplyQuote
SlowPlay
(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 420
 

Hey Paul,

Good recording. I hope I sound that good when I lose my voice. The drums add a lot too.

This was a courageous feat, taking the chorus in the opposite way from obvious. The rewrite makes it clearer, but I think it still needs something. I'm wracking my brain to figure out what that is exactly, but nothing is forthcoming. The best I could do was:

I never thought my friends were petty
I never thought that life was cruel ( OR I never noticed life was cruel )
I never thought the rest were stupid
But that was before I met you

This needs work too, but maybe it's a springboard for someone else.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
ReplyQuote
Bob
 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi Paul

I like the way you've written it to be from the point of view of the downtrodden realising how good life can be. Good twist

Listened to the MP3 and just thought Talking Heads. Good work.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
ReplyQuote