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SSG6 Week 43 - Head of a Woman

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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

So I reached into my coin jar and pulled out a 1997 American penny. In 1997 I had a devastating break-up but I've already written about that, so I turned to Wikipedia. Also in 1997 there was tension in Rwanda, but I've already written about Rwanda. That was the year that princess Dianna died, but Elton John already wrote a song about that.

Then I came across an art theft that I don't remember hearing about. A man stole a painting from a gallery in London and fled in a taxi. The painting was Picasso's Tête de Femme (head of a woman), so I decided to use that robbery as imagery for a song protesting the objectification of women that, although driven underground, is still prevalent (sometimes even in myself).

Head of a Woman
© Robert Gowland 2008

The whole song is: Em Am C G, half time at the bridge

Verse 1:
Flesh tones
Seductive lines
Parade of new paintings line the walls
Of a gallery of an unfinishable collection

Yet around the corner
If you could pry your eyes away you'd find
A missing frame
And lights, alarms

And that's why I'm

Chorus:
Riding in a cab with a stolen Picasso
No one in pursuit
No one seems to notice
My daring escape with the Head of a Woman
The Head of a Woman
No

Verse 2:
Subtle shades
Abstract lines
Every day there's always something new to find
It's like a dive into a pool of soft and golden pretty things

[Chorus]

Bridge:
Would you notice if her head had walked away?
Have you noticed that she's walked away?

[Chorus]

MP3 forthcoming.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi Rob,

I've been waiting for the mp3 before commenting on this song, mainly because I am having a little trouble getting a sense of the rhythm. There is a definite lack of rhyme in here which for me means that the music to this song will play a big part in the final product.
a song protesting the objectification of women

I have to be honest here, the connection to your point (as I see it)
Would you notice if her head had walked away?
Have you noticed that she's walked away?

is very subtle possibly too subtle. If this was my song I think that I would expand the bridge to make the point more “in your face” (excuse he pun). And maybe have some allusion to the point earlier on in the song to plant the seed. Maybe in the first verse in the “gallery” line.

BTW nice to see you dropping in

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@slowplay)
Honorable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 420
Topic starter  

Hey Paul,

Thanks for the feedback. Too subtle was one of my concerns, that and too ambitious since this was my first serious crack at songwriting since In the Twinkling of Black Lights for SSG5 Week 51 and Straycat wrote the lyrics to the chorus for that one < https://www.guitarnoise.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=36132 >.

I took your suggestions and made some minor changes to the song (tying the bridge to the 1st verse, and planting a subtle seed in the 1st verse).

Also, I've finally recorded it. The lyrical delivery isn't as smooth as I would have liked in places, but it gets the point across: < http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6869780 >.

Verse 1:
Flesh tones
Seductive lines
Parade of new paintings line the walls
Of a gallery of hands and knees
An insatiable collection

Yet around the corner
If the curator could pry away his eyes he'd find
A missing frame
Alarms and lights

And that's why I'm

Chorus:
Riding in a cab with a stolen Picasso
No one in pursuit
No one seems to notice
My daring escape with the Head of a Woman
The Head of a Woman
No

Verse 2:
Subtle shades
Abstract lines
Every day there's always something new to find
It's like a dive into a pool of soft and golden pretty things

[Chorus]

Bridge:
Would you notice if her head had walked away?
Would you notice the empty frame?
Have you noticed that she's walked away?

[Chorus]

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


   
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 pbee
(@pbee)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 2096
 

Hi Rob,

great song. As a slight variation you could consider swapping the lines in the chorus around like this:

Riding in a cab with the Head of a Woman
No one in pursuit
No one seems to notice
My daring escape with a stolen Picasso
The Head of a Woman
No

For me this focuses our attention on "The Head of A Woman" as the object, as opposed to the painting. Then in the last two lines your statement that she's not just a head ties in nicely with the first line. Anyway these are just my thoughts, I enjoyed the mp3.

cheers
Paul


Check out my Reverbnation page here


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

Robert, I am beaming right now and so glad I got stuck on your title and had a look!
This is truly and completely beautiful!!!!!!!!

The lyrics are first-rate in every aspect, and please don't change the line in the chorus- I love the way you have "My daring escape with the Head of a Woman", the way it lets me see a real head in his hands while I simultaneously think of the painting. That's great. Also, I like your topic, have had a course on visula culture last semester and we were talking about the objectivation of women in paintings- so I could relate to it on the spot. Although I might have overlooked that, without having had a hint, in your first version.

And the music........ it escapes my capacity of description. So I'll just say that it the melody/the way you're phrasing the lines and hanging on and especially the chorus and the "no" touch me.

Thank you so much for sharing, this is beautiful.
You should be proud (and I am a little jealous :D ).
Cheers,
anne

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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