Skip to content
SSG6 Wk 5 - Wish I ...
 
Notifications
Clear all

SSG6 Wk 5 - Wish I Could Remember

4 Posts
3 Users
0 Likes
972 Views
Montezuma
(@montezuma)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 121
Topic starter  

Haven't had time to write recently but this one came out all of a sudden – so here it is.

I wish I could remember

I was little at the time
I was not worldly wise
I did not understand
It was all a big surprise

Chorus:
Was so long, so long ago
Its an event I don't remember
My mother tells me the story
It happened one day in November

My mother was crying loud
She says she even screamed
My dad was standing helpless
She was dying or so it seemed

(Chorus)

A day we never forget
Twenty-second to be precise
Celebrate it every year
And everyone is extra nice

(Chorus)

I wish I could recall it
But no one does, it's the norm
The biggest day of my life
The day that I was born

“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh


   
Quote
Raystrack
(@raystrack)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 123
 

Nice little song. Do you have a tune yet?

The line 'she was dying, so it seemed' seems to jar to me - is it a bit severe for the rest of the song?

22nd November 1963 was of course, the day when both JFK and C S Lewis died.

Good work.

http://www.raystroud.com
http://www.myspace.com/raystroud


   
ReplyQuote
DrunkRock
(@drunkrock)
Estimable Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 159
 

I liked that line: "she was dying or so it seemed". Through a minor or suspended chord over it in a major key and will certainly build anticipation for an ending the listener thinks is coming. The shock them with the current ending. I like it: build suspense and anticipation and then surprise them!


   
ReplyQuote
Montezuma
(@montezuma)
Estimable Member
Joined: 15 years ago
Posts: 121
Topic starter  

Thanks for the comments.
It is meant to pull you up a bit - expecting something bad, then at the end it turns out to be a happy event.

I don't have a tune yet, im yet to start composing music as I am trying to get some theory under my belt first.
By the time I get round to it I will probably have hundreds of lyrics to set to music- :roll:
Cheers
Ola

“Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is go where they can find you.” - Winnie the Pooh


   
ReplyQuote