i thought i would also work on my metaphor skills along with the nautical theme:
ebb and flow, swelling and dispelling,
take time and tide, take both,
gentle wripples crested in white
in the deep, drift wood not,
beat and turned, waves will cast
aside to hand another,
never reaching the heart
ebb and flow, swelling and dispelling,
take time and tide, take both,
gentle wripples crested in white
in the deep none remain
of by gone days, seasons
to change not more, from where
the cycle begins and ends
ebb and flow, swelling and dispelling,
take time and tide, take both,
gentle wripples crested in white
from out the storm, some captives shall rise,
dashed on the rocks shall all others be,
rise at His command, settle at His hand
a flood to wash the ground, and all to sea
the Master of the wind
the Maker of the waters
in the deep, a treasure
hidden, beneath the waves
flow that stirs surface and floor,
a pearl calls, a jewel awaits
Blessings,
doug
Hi Doug,
It might work more as a tone poem. I think it's too stilted, (for lack of a better word) for a lyric.
I think you could achieve the same thing and gain power by shifting it slightly towards the vernacular.
As a poem though, I like it.