Well spring breaks about over and it suuuuuuuucked. My wrist is still ill, so I spent alot of time in my head. This song is probably a good summery of my break. As for music, I wrote it while listening to trance music. I don't know if I'd keep with that. I hear foo fighters when I read it, but I'm not a huge fan. If I ever heal I'll spend some time on it.
In my last song, I said I would work on more direct lyrics, and I am doing that, but I'm having to work away at it in pieces. Being direct, also makes it longer, and harder to hide confused intentions. Which is one of my strongest faults.
Grounded.
Give me the support I need
prop me up with strings
push against a modern trend
over minorr, finer things
Restrain yourself, it's a new age
Made for all the toys it brings
No ones going to cry over
one small pair of broken wings
Hey, I don't want to fly.
I just want to sing.
I've always had this dream.
That someday.
Someway.
I would be something.
You tried hard I won't deny
you the worlds forbidden me
believe my lies and sleep deeply
you can be what I can't be
Please don't care (quiet)
please dont try
please don't stare
I'm alright
Please don't care (Louder)
please dont try
please don't stare
I'm alright
Please don't care (Freaking louder)
please dont try
please don't stare
I'm alright
I swear (Still freaking loud)
I swear
I swear
That I'm alright!!!
You tried hard I won't deny (Soft)
you the worlds forbidden me
believe my lies and sleep deeply
you can be what I can't be
©2006, Joshua Aldridge
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
In general I think it's rather good. I especially like the first two verses and the next bit (which I thought should have been repeated as a chorus). Standout lines are "prop me up with strings" and "no-one's going to cry over / one small pair of broken wings". By the way, what did you mean by "miner, finer things"?
As for the second half of the song, I can't really comment because it's the kind of thing you have to hear - you can't really judge it on paper. Might be good, I don't particularly like songs that do that kind of thing but I'm sure there are a dozen examples to prove me wrong. As for the directness, I think you achieved that but I still think that repeating "I'm alright" so many times is possibly a bit too direct.
If the second half of the song followed along the same lines as the first half, it would be an SSG classic.
Thanks, I'm glad you like the song. I actually tryed to repeat that one verse as a chorus but right after I posted my internet got cut, so I couldn't edit. And since I don't really have the music in mind, I figure theres not much of point in changing it right now anyway.
Push against a modern trend
over miner, finer things.
This is actually probably my favorite lines. There's an infinite amout of examples but to keep it relevent, I'll use music. The modern trend in music right now, I guess, is stuff like fallout boy. And fallout boy isn't horrible in itself, but I also have David Bowie on my computer. In fact, the song I'm listening to right now has a saxophone solo going on in the backround, and it's not a huge portion of the song, but it's a part of the thought process behind music that modern trends have recentally tended to filter out.
So I have trouble adapting to a rising trend because it's "new." Trends can certainly bring different and "better" things to music, but I'm not convinced that right now is an occasion, and it's also good to be selective of the trends you follow.
Again, Thanks for commenting!!!
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
Ok, to be specific, the word I don't get is miner. To me that is a guy who works underground digging up coal or diamonds. Do you mean minor as in minor chords? Sorry if I sound pedantic but I literally don't understand the line unless it's explained to me.
Oh, yeah sorry. It's minor. If spell check doesn't catch it, then it's usually beyond me to. I apologize.
I CHANGED IT!!!
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
