Skip to content

Forum

Week 22--The Girl W...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Week 22--The Girl Who Had That Thing


 Joe
(@joe)
Honorable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 504
Topic starter  

Copyright©2003Revision2007JKovak

Here's a song I dug up and rewrote tonight for...

The Girl Who Had That Thing

If I
Could make music touch your soul
If I
Could write words that turn to gold
If I …
Could make everything all right
Just by following the light
Made by you

I'd find
A way to prove
How much more I am now
Since I met you

The girl who had that thing
Yeah, the girl who had that thing

Once I
Thought I'd only reach so high
Till I
Met you and now just wonder why
I…
Thought life wasn't worth much
Then you showed me how great life can be

And i'll find
A way to prove
How much more I am now since I met you

The girl who had that thing
Yeah the girl who had that thing

I...
Never felt the need to sing
About anything that could
Make me wonder why
I... ‘d
Been wasting so much time
Waiting for a sign
To help me prove

That I can be much more than I knew
But I didn't know that until
I met you

The girl who had that thing
Yeah the girl who had that thing

Now i…
Can do most anything
Write a song, right a wrong, make the fat lady sing
I…
Never knew what I could be
And it's hard to believe
Now that you're gone

I'm still fine
Just like you knew
And i wish i could write a song to tell you

That you're the girl who had that thing
Yeah you're the girl who had that thing


Quote
(@xposed)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 107
 

I felt a great connection to the end of the song here:

Now i…
Can do most anything
Write a song, right a wrong, make the fat lady sing
I…
Never knew what I could be
And it's hard to believe
Now that you're gone

I'm still fine
Just like you knew
And i wish i could write a song to tell you

... I can here the melody right now for "write a song, right a wrong" - thats clever, i would encourage more usage like that.

Good job making an overdone topic (love songs) into your own unique peice


ReplyQuote
(@barnabus-rox)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2976
 

Nice work Joe

I love the first line of this piece

If I
Could make music touch your soul

Thats really nice

Trevor

Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am


ReplyQuote
(@slowplay)
Reputable Member
Joined: 17 years ago
Posts: 420
 

Hey Joe,

This is nice. It's great how the song really is a tribute... it communicates your loss and respect.

I'm not sure upon reading and re-reading what the title means, but I think it works nonetheless.

I like the first line:
If I
Could make music touch your soul

but you mean "If I could make music to touch your soul"?

If I was to change something, I would drop the "now" from
How much more I am now
Since I met you

The "since" implies the "now". Maybe it flows better musically, but grammatically, I think its better without it.

Oh yeah, and the ending is very strong to, as xposed has pointed out.

Ice cream is a dish best served cold.


ReplyQuote
(@kevin72790)
Prominent Member
Joined: 16 years ago
Posts: 840
 

"Write a song, right a wrong, make the fat lady sing "

Make the fat lady sing really ruins this great line. Remove that, I just don't see how it fits in with the song at all. You have a really nice song even if oyu don't remove that, but doing so makes it that much better, in my opinion.

I sung it to myself while I read the lyrics, and I'm trying to hear the song. I think I see what you're going for, and I like it a lot. Good job.


ReplyQuote
 Celt
(@celt)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2653
 

Joe,

I think Exposed said it best:
I felt a great connection to the end of the song here:

Now i…
Can do most anything
Write a song, right a wrong, make the fat lady sing
I…
Never knew what I could be
And it's hard to believe
Now that you're gone

I'm still fine
Just like you knew
And i wish i could write a song to tell you

... I can here the melody right now for "write a song, right a wrong" - thats clever, i would encourage more usage like that.

Good job making an overdone topic (love songs) into your own unique peice

Good Job

John

My SoundClick Page

Collaborations

" It's easier than waiting around to die" Townes Van Zandt


ReplyQuote