http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12314824
A little darker than usual, this one. .
He talks to the wall
no one else seems to hear him
Oblivious to all
around him
As he stares into space
What does he see
That he watches so closely
Why does he go
To that lonely place
What’s in his mind
What kind of life does he live there
What can we say to break through the spell
Is there a pill or a potion to give him
Is there a prayer to make him well
He cries in his sleep
Thrashing whilst he is dreaming
Terror at night
That no one can erase
Silently screaming at demons
Haunting his bedroom
He tries to run
But he’s frozen in place
What’s in his mind
What kind of life does he live there
What can we say to break through the spell
Is there a pill or a potion to give him
Is there a prayer to make him well
He talks to himself
As he walks down the sidewalk
Answering questions
No one ever can hear
The pills they give him
Make him feel all foggy
But still the voices
Are coming through crystal clear
What did we do
Who can we blame, how did he get here
What can we say to break through the spell?
Another pill or potion to give him
Unanswered prayers to make him well
He talks to the wall……….
Version 2 ( edited mostly to fit the music. )
He talks to the wall
cause no one else can hear him
Oblivious to all
As he stares out into space
What does he see
That he watches so closely
Why does he go
To that lonely place
What’s in his mind
What kind of life does he live there
What can we say to break through the spell
Is there a pill or a potion to give him
Is there a prayer to make him well
He cries in his sleep
Thrashing as he’s dreaming
Terror at night
That nobody can erase
Silently screaming at demons
In his bedroom
He tries to run
But he’s frozen in place
What’s in his mind
What kind of life does he live there
What can we say to try break through the spell
Is there a pill or a potion to give him
Is there a prayer to make him well
He talks to himself
As he walks down the sidewalk
Answering questions
Nobody else can hear
The pills they give him
He hides deep down in his pocket
So the voices
Still come through loud and clear
What did we do
Who can we blame, how did he get here
Who can we pay to try to break through the spell?
Another pill or potion to give him
Unanswered prayers to make him well
He talks to the wall……….
KReichert
5/9/2013
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
It strikes me as being about a Daniel Johnson in his worst days type of character. I'm not sure how "Oblivious to all around him" will sound. The word "oblivious" just doesn't seem musical. Have you got a melody for this?
Dark, yes, but well done dark
2nd Verse
He cries in his sleep
Thrashing whilst he is dreaming
Terror at night
That no one can erase
Silently screaming at demons
Haunting his bedroom
He tries to run
But he’s frozen in place
A very strong, descriptive verse . . . . I thought this was extremely well done. Not so sure that "whilst" doth fit. Maybe just keep it simple
He cries in his sleep
thrashing while dreaming
Any possibilty that you'll treat us to an MP3 on this one?
Neil
I realy like this. I can practically see him. Its a very sad song - without being maudlin. Well done!!
The only line I would slightly question is "make him feel all foggy" - for some reason it doesnt seem as polished as the rest of it.
Would love to hear this...
Cheers,
HagRider
Hi Kathy,
Good start :D The gist of the song is there and well told. I agree with all the other posts of the slight modifications that could help strengthen the song and make the lyrics a bit more conversational.
Thanks for sharing :D
James
The tweaks have really polished it. I really like it - and the lyrics flow really well with the melody.
Cheers,
HagRider
The MP3 is really lovely. thank you, Kathy.
Neil
I really enjoyed it. The lyrics and the melody flow nicely together.
Mark
The lyrics and the melody flow nicely together.
+1
He talks to the wall
no one else seems to hear him
This line stuck out to me because people CAN hear him......maybe try......
He talks to the wall
but/'cause no one understands him
-minor point, the song still works fine as is.
Thanks for sharing :D
Dunno - I think no one else seems to hear him works ok. I would see it as being from his point of view that nobody else seems to hear - ie its why he talks to the wall.
Cheers,
HagRider
Exactly what I was thinking. It's from his point of view. It works for me.
A very moving song and the lyrics and music do fit well together. I love the singing and playing too. This is a song to be proud of.
Renee
Thank You all.
Falling in love is like learning to play the guitar; first you learn to follow the rules, then you learn to play with your heart.
