Week 27 - Wake Up

Thanks for the feedback, Pete.
A metaphorical flower bulb, dormant through the winter then awakening in spring?
Yep, pretty much got it in one. :D

This was actually my original idea, that of writing about the waking up of the flowers in Spring. But that got me thinking and somehow I got onto the idea of breaking free from the cares of the world (at least in an introspective sense) and choosing to live one's live the way they want. Knowing their place in the world; knowing who they are, and being comfortable with who they are. And of course, adding to the overall beauty of the world.

So in a way I hope I've embodied two meanings. :P
It sort of reminds me of a tale told to me by an old family friend who contracted tetanus and was in a coma for 6 months, all he remembered from the experience was a recurring dream of being buried with no way out.
OMG! 6 months! Glad to hear he came out of it okay. I'm glad the lyrics prompted this memory of yours though. :)
Who cares, the lyrics are great 8) 8) . Could work well with a metallica sound perhaps? :D
I honestly hadn't really thought about the sound for this but could definitely hear it in a metallica type sound. I immediately think of something like One. :)

Thanks again mate.

Hiya all,

Been having a bit of trouble getting something I'm happy with this week, though haven't had too much time to spend on it (darn work).

I dunno if others suffer from this but I seem to have a tendency to overmetaphorisize (yes, I'm sure that's a neologism :P) things. As in, I have an idea I'd like to write about, then I wrap that in metaphor, then I seem to end up putting that metaphor in another metaphor. Before I know it I end up confusing myself. :o

Ouch my head hurts now I'm totally confused :lol: :lol: (jokes)

The only thing I will be critical of in your song ( I'm sure you won't mind )
is ...

It travels along like this

V/1--V/2--CHORUS --V/3--CHORUS--V/4--CHORUS--V/5

My suggestion is ..
V/1--V/2--CHORUS --V/3--CHORUS--V/4--V/5-- CHORUS
( I don't know about the last chorus though )

This then would tie some lyrics from the previous verse (4) to verse (5)

I am probably way off the mark here ...

Just my opinion

Hilch :?:

Hi Bennett,

Good writing here, I like the imagery a lot. I especially like the two last lines of each verse, that really impressed me :)

I love metaphors.. I couldn't make one at gunpoint though, but I do like them anyway. Problem is, I'm dumb as a rock. I'm going to want to die for writing this, but I think I can excuse myself with being tired and on my way to bed. Here goes... I thought you were writing about oil! :oops:

Please, please, please... don't hate me.. most people say I'm sweet, and I've come to learn to accept it as a compliment. Say what you will :)

:)
-man

V/1--V/2--CHORUS --V/3--CHORUS--V/4--CHORUS--V/5

My suggestion is ..
V/1--V/2--CHORUS --V/3--CHORUS--V/4--V/5-- CHORUS
( I don't know about the last chorus though )

This then would tie some lyrics from the previous verse (4) to verse (5)
Good suggestion there Hilch. I wasn't really sure about this last section, as in I wasn't sure whether it would sound better with the chorus being last or finishing with a verse that was a little different to the other verses (I'm not sure if it's actually called a verse or something else. Maybe someone can enlighten me here. :oops:).

I really have to actually try and get some music happening so I can see which way works best. Thanks for the suggestion. Keep em coming. :)
I love metaphors.. I couldn't make one at gunpoint though, but I do like them anyway. Problem is, I'm dumb as a rock. I'm going to want to die for writing this, but I think I can excuse myself with being tired and on my way to bed. Here goes... I thought you were writing about oil! Embarassed

Please, please, please... don't hate me.. most people say I'm sweet, and I've come to learn to accept it as a compliment. Say what you will Smile
ROFL! Mate, you crack me up! :lol:

I absolutely love it when the song makes people of different things. I read the lyrics again with the theme of oil in my mind, and you know what? It WORKS! And forgive me for saying so, but I think it works well! :D

There was maybe only one verse in there that was a bit of a stretch to fit but honestly, I could see it being about oil trapped underground for many many years, then being found and released (awakened). Love it! :D

Oh, and thanks for the positive feedback regarding the verses!

Wait a minute... you callin' me smart? You are, aren't you?!? 8)

I had a bit of problems making the 2nd verse fit, but I thought maybe I was too dumb to understand :lol:

And I thought especially the chorus fit well with oil in mind. The song would sort of be about oil and people would use their own associations with the word towards war/pollution/power struggles/greed etc. So the chorus covers both the listener and the oil trapped underground.

Thanks for saving my life, I'm not so embarassed anymore :)

:)
-man

LOL! Anytime mate!

I honestly appreciate the different interpretations ... it actually makes me feel like a wrote something I can be proud of. :)

Besides different lyrical interpretations, I think it's cool how people get different musical ideas as well. I hear a techno-pop thing going on like some old U2 or even Beth Orton or Kate Bush.

Love the "cold above and cold below" line.

Looking forward to reading more and to perhaps hearing this one one day.

Peace

I dunno if others suffer from this but I seem to have a tendency to overmetaphorisize (yes, I'm sure that's a neologism :P) things. As in, I have an idea I'd like to write about, then I wrap that in metaphor, then I seem to end up putting that metaphor in another metaphor. Before I know it I end up confusing myself. :o

Like Hilch, I bruised my brain reading that. :?
A metaphorical flower bulb, dormant through the winter then awakening in spring?
A deeper metaphorical evil kept dormant since the dawn of time finally woken up?

I sort of read it like Bushpig. My little difference is like awaking "a sleeping giant" or change taking place.

8) Bennett.

Hello

Not a real lot to add here , I like Hilch's suggestion

And I agree with Bushpig when he said " Who cares, the lyrics are great "

keep posting

L.K

Hi Bennett

God use of the flowering metaphor (and the oil one) - always pleasing when people get different things from a song even ones you hadn't anticipated.

Good interpretation of the assignment

Bob :wink: