+Between the Stars+
I wonder what your doing as my day keeps dragging on
I gave up weeks ago trying not to think of you
You meant so much to me, I think that you may never see
And baby I sit here all alone, don't know what else to do
I can't reach you anymore
I haven't seen you in so long
I wish that I could have you now
So I wrote it in a song
We're on the radio today
That way my love won't die away
It lives in other peoples minds
But it's always yours and mine
I have to know if your happy or if your feeling all alone
It crushes me each day but I just can't seem to call
Sometimes I feel you in my arms on the lonliest of days
You've brought me to my knees, no one else ever made me fall
I can't reach you anymore
I haven't seen you in so long
I wish that I could have you now
So I wrote it in a song
We're on the radio today
That way my love won't die away
It lives in other peoples minds
But it's always yours and mine
Through the stratosphere I sing
Through the endless yawn of space
In the black between the stars
Thats where I've found our place
Shining bright among the suns
On a billion years we'll ride
This little wave from a radio
And now this love will never die
This love will never die
Each word led me on to another word,
Each deed to another deed.
-Havamal-
Hey Mork,
Great song there mate.
I particularly like the chorus; I think it's very well done.
There's a lot of feeling in this song too.
Good work. 8)
From little things big things grow - Paul Kelly
Hello
I like your work so far , I am however a little concerned that your writting alot along the same vibe ...
Please correct me if you feel I am wrong ...
Once again alot of emotion ( which is a very good thing )
Keep posting
L.K
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )
Yeah, maybe I am in a rut here... A lot has happened this last two weeks though, some of it still a little hard to believe!
We'll see what I come up with for 29. Glad you guys liked it regardless.
Each word led me on to another word,
Each deed to another deed.
-Havamal-
Morkalg,
Of course you life is going the effect your writing.
And I know I'm not one to say anything about
common themes. I couldn't write a happy song
if I tried. (I know because I've tried)
I like the chorus but find the verses a little wordy
for my taste. Seems that they could be condensed
some. Not a big deal and it could just be me.
Good Writing
John
Just a quick note in addition to all that has already been said...
The last verse, to me, is super good. The imagery is great. To problem is that the rest of the song leading up to that verse is more narrative in nature. You definitely want to end with a bang, but the parts leading up to end could stand a bit of the same touch of brilliance that graces the last verse.
Still, great stuff.
Ice cream is a dish best served cold.
