This is a pretty short one. Maybe I'll add more later. It should probably have a folksy sound to it.
Settle.
Now that I've swallowed my poison
you look mighty fine
Maybe it's the bitter season
but I wish to make you mine.
Down a few more, kill all reason
become a sexy beast
Know that I'll be yours forever
for tonight at least.
Haven't you lost to desire?
Haven't you wished to be free?
Haven't you betrayed your senses?
Who's this next to me?
Scorn the sun, and curse the morning
for showing me the light.
In my regret, without warning
for this chilling sight.
Haven't you lost to desire?
Haven't you wished to be free?
Haven't you betrayed your senses?
Who's this next to me?
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
Nope not just you Peter :lol: :lol:
Oh talk about letting secrets out :oops: :oops:
Saber this is very clever I think
Shortness ? thats what music is for to fill I say ....
I really like the second verse
Hilch
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Saber
Old story but you tell it well and it sounds fresh.
Good Job
John
Reads very well to me, just one part I'm not sure about....
Scorn the sun, and curse the morning
for showing me the light.
In my regret, without warning
for this chilling sight.
I came up with..
Scorn the sun and curse the morning,
for shedding light.
On my regrets without warning,
Of this chilling sight......
I can't help tinkering with words, and I just felt that 2nd line felt unneccessarily long - as always, just my opinion.....
my other opinion is, you caught the spirit of the assignment well, and you've got a pretty good song.....
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
Hey Saber,
I think you've got yourself a great song here. My only comment is that it does seem a little short but I think that if you tinkered with it might lose that tightness that it has.
Well done
Paul
Thanks ya'll
Vic- nah man, your's is about two sillables too short. Try to sing it outloud with the rest of the verses, it sounds off.
"Like the coldest winter chill. Heaven beside you. Hell within." -Jerry Cantrell
Nice little song you have here
I think it would be how you held the words in Vic's post ( just my opinion )
Good writting
L.k
Aghhhh
Not only am I a senior citizen
I'm now a bloody senior member
Are you people trying to tell me I'm old or what ?
over 700 posts ( I really do need to get out more )