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Week 35, First SSG post

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(@rejectedagain)
Estimable Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 175
Topic starter  

Hey, I've usually just posted in the Guitar Noise Songwriting Club, but I'm not feeling that the replies are being as structured or as plentiful as most of the time they are in SSG, so hopefully you will all drop a line and critique and comment it. This song is called Wanting and Needing You More, it's about wanting someone that you already had and lost, all throughout the song it's like a stage of getting over it in the second verse and in the bridge it says things that make the person realize that they're kind of over it and don't understand why it took them so long and why they tried so hard. So here it goes, Wanting and Needing You More:

I miss you like crazy,
Where are you,
I need to see your face,
I need to hold your hand,
And I love you,
I said it,
A million times before,
But you're so far away,
And I'm wanting and needing you more…

Where are you?
I need you tonight,
Even on the phone,
Would be alright,
I miss the sound of your voice,
I wish that I had a choice,
But you're so far away,
I don't remember much at all,
So refresh my memory,
Cause I'm wanting and needing you more…

I said I was sorry,
I'm not sure what for,
But anything to make it right,
To get you to open your door,
There's no answer,
As I'm waiting,
I don't want to keep waiting,
Cause I'm not sure…

Where are you?
I need you tonight,
Even on the phone,
Would be alright,
I miss the sound of your voice,
I wish that I had a choice,
But you're so far away,
I don't remember much at all,
So refresh my memory,
Cause I'm wanting and needing you more…

I'm wanting and needing you more,
I'm wanting and needing you more,
I need you now,
I need you now,
I wish that you would come back now,
I wish that it would be okay,
But I'll be fine,
I need you to know…

I loved you so much,
And I should said it,
But tell me now,
Well what has it ever meant,
I miss the sound of your voice,
But I guess it's alright,
Cause suddenly,
There's a light at the end of the tunnel…

And I'm over it now,
I'm moving on,
I don't need this pain,
I'm moving…


   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Hi RejectedAgain

I know it can be frustrating not to have your song critiqued as much or in the fashion that you want but you must bear in mind that this is purely voluntary and no one is duty bound to critique it. This forum is for those people following the particular asignment I've put forward for that week - some more frustrating than others :wink: Your song, with some tweaking could be made to fit this week's assignment. For example, the main person in your songis missing his lover and desperately wants her back and instead of telling her how much he misses her (i'm assuming it's a he) is telling her that if they stay together the best is yet to come and what that best is forms the basis of your song.

I'd suggest that you try to work that in to your song for this assignment and please feel free to join in any other assignments and receive the benfits of this forum for your songwriting development. The flip side of that is please provide critiques to other people - this should not be one way traffic. But please don't just post unrelated songs here because if they're not related to the assignment I will move them out to the Songwriting club board otherwise they will fall down the board and you'll get even less critique.

Bob :wink:

My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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