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Week 4 - "When I Say..." w/mp3

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(@marvelousoptimist)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 176
Topic starter  

Inspiration struck in the shower. I've been listening to a lot of Johnny Cash and Leonard Cohen lately... with some assorted country thrown in.

"When I say..."

I tell you that you saved my soul
The day we met so many years ago
And you laugh it off like some kinda joke
I guess you'll never really knoiw

(chorus)
That when I say you saved me
I really mean you saved me
I talked to God and prayed, Dear
And look at what he gave me
And when I say I love you
I mean I'd die without you
A path straight to the grave, Dear
Was life before I found you

All your friends say "how'd you ever
Find a man so cute and clever"
If they asked me where to find another
I'd say "drunk and in the gutter"

(chorus)
Yeah, when I say you saved me
I really mean you saved me
I talked to God and prayed, Dear
And look at what he gave me
And when I say I love you
I mean I'd die without you
A path straight to the grave, Dear
Was life before I found you

(bridge)
Then one night you found that old pistol
Though I thought I'd hidden it so well
And it still smelled of stale cigarette smoke
That I'd once breathed down the barrel

(chorus)
So when I say you saved me
I really mean you saved me
I talked to God and prayed, Dear
And you were what he gave me
And when I say I love you
I mean I'd die without you
A path straight to the grave, Dear
Was life before I found you

When I say you saved me...

-marv

Andrew Delaney & The Horse You Rode In On ---> http://www.myspace.com/andrewdelaney

You can and should buy my album "Scoundrels!" in mp3 format on amazon.com or iTunes etc...


   
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(@scratchmonkey)
Honorable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 603
 

Well Marv,

I dunno if it's because you've been scarce lately or not, but I think this is one of your best yet. Possibly better than "Smoke and Mirrors". Nah, it's not because you've been scarce. This really is as good as it seemed at first. The verses are good, the chorus is excellent, and the bridge is masterful. Very heartfelt, and believe it or not, even though it seems such a personal piece (from the character's point of view), I believe it has a very broad appeal. Reminded me of a good friend right off.

So, though it's a bit of a departure from your usual style, you've shown how incredibly versatile you can be.

Really well done, man.

-- Scratch 8)

oh -- in the chorus, I think you meant "prayed" in lieu of "preyed". But maybe not.

-- Scratch 8)


"...if heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV" -- John Prine
42


   
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(@marvelousoptimist)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 176
Topic starter  

I did some minor revisions just now.

-marv

Andrew Delaney & The Horse You Rode In On ---> http://www.myspace.com/andrewdelaney

You can and should buy my album "Scoundrels!" in mp3 format on amazon.com or iTunes etc...


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

hey marv:)

you got me before I even read the first word of the lyrics, by saying the Cohen thing :lol:
I wouldn't have guessed his influence though, as it's I dunno, very you, maybe;)

....and that I love.
this chorus, man, just amazing, especially the last 4 lines, which started kinda picking up a clishé but making it over so it's really something new and beautiful now:) hope this came across as the compliment as it was meant to be.
If they asked me where to find another
I'd say "drunk and in the gutter"
grand!

agree with scratch on the bridge, masterful :D

as always there's no thing I can think of you could change, it's quite perfect:)
keep 'em coming
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@cheapthrill)
Estimable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 224
 

hey marv,

don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. certainly one of your best and most powerful songs yet. the bridge really drives the song home. it is what truely makes you feel the sentiment that the chorus has.

i didn't know how someone that was already so good could get any better, but you have managed to do that here. you managed to not hold anything back. you take the reader right to the edge and not going over board with the sentiment.

don't know how you do it. if i could only be a quarter of how good you are i would be estatic.

-CheapThrill


   
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(@smokindog)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 5345
 

That is truly great! The chorus is wonderfull:D
a good story, hope we get to hear this soon :!:-the dog

My Youtube Page
http://www.youtube.com/user/smokindog
http://www.soundclick.com/smokindogandthebluezers

http://www.soundclick.com/guitarforumjams


   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Hmmm....hope the shower isn't too infrequent a change of scenery, I did hear the air was clean in Texas.....just joking!!!!

Don't know an awful lot about Mr. Cohen, but I can see the JC influence... in fact, I can almost hear it sung in that deep gravelly voice....

I always look to see if you've posted anything, when you do you rarely disappoint....I'm with Scratch et al on this one, it's quite superb....bridge is a real killer!!! (pun intended)

Great stuff, and add me to the list of people who want to hear this...

:D :D :D

Vic.

"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@marvelousoptimist)
Reputable Member
Joined: 20 years ago
Posts: 176
Topic starter  

nevermind the sloppy guitar and laryngitis vocals.....

http://www.thehouseholdgods.com/whenisay.mp3

-marv

Andrew Delaney & The Horse You Rode In On ---> http://www.myspace.com/andrewdelaney

You can and should buy my album "Scoundrels!" in mp3 format on amazon.com or iTunes etc...


   
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(@gjbrake)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago
Posts: 235
 

Hey!

I listened to it and in all fairness, the guitar playing is very sloppy, and the singer sounds like he has laryngitis.

But otherwise, it's really, really good!!!

G

Listen Louder Than You Play


   
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