Hi been busy lately with family committments
I have been trying to finish this for ages , its just all over the place as you will see when you read it ..
Its about a woman trapped in a marriage that simply isn't working , and not being female myself , I am struggling to get alot of the importatnt things right ..
Currently it reads more like a love story then a song ..
For a title I was thinking " She Thinks Why "
A single tear rolls gently down her cheek
A soft cry released from her quivering lips,
The pain, the sadness, the loneliness
Encompassing her life!
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
She thinks why should she bother
She watches him, moving room to room
Not knowing what she is feeling,
Not knowing why ,Her heart is reeling
She tries to move past her feelings,
Now weeping softly in her hands,
Her head bent to hide the tears.
Thinking he would never understand
Love is lost that's what she fears
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
She thinks why should she bother
Bridge
She wants to be happy,
To find peace in her life,
But her heart is so lonely,
She feels to deeply the pain
Of a loveless marriage!
Her tears flow freely now,
She is no longer able to hide the pain.
She is lost in her emotions
Now she can not, can not find her way!
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
She thinks why should she bother
__________________________________
__________________________________
Any thoughts / ideas appreciated
Trev...
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
For a title I was thinking "She Thinks Why"
How about "Why Should She Bother?"
This had a lot of potential, but you're right, it came off more like a story than a song. I made some suggestions below. Hope you don't mind.
A single tear rolls down her cheek
A sob escapes her quivering lips
She can't explain the sadness in her life
All she can do is cry
And wonder
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
Well then why should she bother
She watches him move from room to room
Not knowing how she feels
Or why her heart reels
How does he steel himself against her
Now weeping softly in her hands
Her head turned to hide the tears.
He would never understand
Love is lost to him, it's clear
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
Well then why should she bother
Bridge
She used to be happy
It was a different life
Before his heart grew cold
And hers grew lonely
Her tears flow freely now
She can no longer hide the pain.
Lost in her emotions
He can't see her anyway
chorus
Is this all there is?
Is this what life has to offer?
Is this all there is?
Well then why should she bother __________________________________
Thanks Joe
Can I ask why " Encompassing " was dropped ...Just curious as alot of people have said to me they didn't like it ...
I like it alot ...
Just curious
Trev..
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
I think sometimes song lyrics are better when they're just simple and to the point. Believe it or not, not everyone knows what the word encompassing means. But in the end, I always say, go with your gut. It's your song and if you like it, you should keep it.
Yep, I don't have a clue what encompassing is... (I'm from the Netherlands, my English vocabulairy ain't complete yet ;))
I think Joe's correction's have a point, it gives the song some start and end, it leads somewhere IMO: from doubts to a certainess (is that English?!) that it is definitely over. That kinda makes the song as a whole better. But I sure like the way you described the situation, she comes alive in my imagination!
BTW - if I'm using non-existent English words or very wrong grammar, please correct me! That way I can improve my songwriting and English at once!
Actually your English sounds better than most Americans'.
