Week 50 Reservoir Road Chorus

Hi Matt,

I really liked the idea and the image there. It would definitely make me want to hear the rest of the tale. I'm having a bit of trouble working out how to sing it as written, but I've only just got out of bed, and the brain cells are still a cup of coffee or two short of working requirements....

Cheers,

Chris

Blueline,

I like what you did here. I would be tempted to tweak it and and some
more rhyme but it work well as is.

This is the type of story I was thinking of for this title.

John

I really like this.

I also struggle with the meter, but it could demand an interesting tune rather than a dum-de-dum.

For me the last line turns it into a verse rather than a chorus unless you wonderfully leave clues at the end of several verses that allude to something you can't explain - now there's an idea :P

Putting briefly shared a passing glance seems like saying the same thing twice in one line (briefly and passing) but that's me being pedantic I guess. That's the line that jars a bit for me.

I really like this.

I also struggle with the meter, but it could demand an interesting tune rather than a dum-de-dum.

For me the last line turns it into a verse rather than a chorus unless you wonderfully leave clues at the end of several verses that allude to something you can't explain - now there's an idea :P

Yep. Certainly not a "dum-de-dum" kind of chorus. The lyrics do not liken themslves to standard meter. Agreed, this could be a verse but that's up to whomever ends up writting the tune full out. I say...hack away at what I've written. If what I've written simply acts as a springboard to other ideas, etc...then great!