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Week 51 - "Get Out"

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sunsetN!nja
(@sunsetncnja)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
Topic starter  

**Well, after a brief hiatus, I'm hopping back into this thing. I noticed that after you miss a week, it becomes easier to stop writing and I didn't want that to happnen.

Get Out
by BJM

(intro)
To the girl who is inside,
the shadow of my mind.
Knew you were there, still didn't care.
But now I want you out.

(verse 1)
To the first one to move on,
And wash yourself of me.
Emptiness is better than,
when you were everything.

(chorus)
So take that dress, those breasts, your cigarrettes,
and your stupid sexy walk.
I'll let the four winds have our photographs,
You can change all of the locks.
Take your laugh, your touch, the cherry lips,
and your goddamn sultry voice.
They were fun but they were prison bars.
And I won't stay stuck on you.

(verse 2)
The future called, and I just stalled.
I came, saw, realized.
You can't move up when falling back,
on things you can't let go.

(chorus)

(verse 3/out)
To the lady who's inside,
the shadow of my doubt.
All I want is a kiss goodbye,
and after that...

**The parts that start with the word "To" are supposed to be phrased like a letter, in case it seems off.


   
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straycat.
(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 19 years ago
Posts: 1282
 

hi sunsetN!nja :D good to have you back

man, this is a fu.cking brilliant chorus! I'd so love to hear this and sing along:) especially like this phrase:your stupid sexy walk.
and Take your laugh, your touch, the cherry lips,
and your gosh darn sultry voice.
They were fun but they were prison bars. :)))

also like that you seem to leave 'out' out in the end...great idea, really needn't be said cause it is clear which word would follow(did I make sense?)

very good one
bluenightangel

"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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sunsetN!nja
(@sunsetncnja)
Trusted Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 40
Topic starter  

lol, I didn't notice that one of my lines was automatically changed instead of being blanked out or replaced with *****. You could tell which, I don't use "gosh darned" much in every day conversation.

Thanks for the comments Angel. I wasn't completely sure that it would be so obvious what the last word was.


   
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CheapThrill
(@cheapthrill)
Estimable Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 224
 

hey n!nja,

ceratinly great to have you back. i have missed reading your stuff.

this is of course a wonderful song. i have to agree with blue here i liked the very same lines she did. i like the sentiment about all the stuff you liked about her is what you don't want to see. that you are moving on and want to get totally over her.

i very much enjoyed reading your song. i have nothing bad to say about it. keep up the good work, and i hope that you won't be missing anymore weeks here.

-CheapThrill


   
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